Unchained Memories
by JadeHeart
Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa Ryuichi dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. Side story to ‘The Key to My Heart’
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** none  
**Author's Notes:** I guess Jim wanted his story told after all.

Summary: Side story to 'The Key to My Heart'. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained Memories

"So everything's worked out?"

"Yes," Tohma replied, swiveling his chair to look out on the world as the afternoon sun crept slowly across the sky. Clouds scudded across the blueness, throwing shadows briefly over the landscape before flying quickly away to disappear past the surrounding buildings. "So it would appear."

"Okay, so why aren't you jumping for joy over this? Thought this was what you wanted?" Jim's voice sounded impatient on the other end of the phone and Tohma could understand that.

He hadn't known why he had felt the need to call Jim today. He would have done so at some point to let him know that Shuichi had finally remembered. After all he had been responsible for getting them started on that long and painful journey and he had come through for them so many times. It was only simple courtesy for Tohnm to call and tell him all was well. Or was it?

"Aw, Tohma," Jim's voice filled the moment of silence, "I know what you're thinking. I'm not mad, but I've just done three days with about 6 hours sleep in total and I'm so tired I can barely see straight, so cut me some slack and skip your usual cryptic messages and just get right to the point, can you?"

"Sorry," Tohma replied sincerely, feeling a small twinge of conscious in realizing that Jim wouldn't be exaggerating. If he said he was that tired, he really would be. "Look, I'll call you some other time."

"Don't do that!" Jim's hurried shout reached him as he had moved the phone away to replace into its cradle. "Tohma, you bastard, talk to me!"

Tohma put the phone back to his ear, "I don't want to hold you up any longer. It's not necessary."

He heard Jim's deep sigh, "Yes, it is. You wouldn't have called me if it wasn't. You know that, and I know that. So talk to me. What's the problem? If the kid's finally remembered it should be a happy ending, so what's gone wrong?"

"Nothing. Yet."

"That doesn't sound good. So you expect something to?"

Tohma chewed gently on his bottom lips for a moment. "Shindou has remembered Eiri, but…" He trailed off again.

"But? He doesn't like what he's remembering?" Jim prompted.

"It's more that there's so much for him to assimilate now, and in light of the recent events, he's not as ….accommodating as he once was." Tohma finally admitted.

He heard Jim's quiet chuckle, "So what you are saying is that he's got a mind of his own and he's making his own decisions and not just going along with whatever you and Yuki wants?"

Tohma didn't answer and Jim just chuckled again, "Oh, Tohma, you are such a jerk at times."

"I resent that," Tohma answered mildly.

"Sure you do. Because you resemble that!" was Jim's short response. "For god's sake, man, cut the kid some slack! He's been screwed up for months – what nearly a year now? How can you expect him to be the same? To even think the same as he once did? He lived as an entirely different person for nearly six months so there's bound to be some confusion."

"But he did remember that he loved Eiri," Tohma insisted.

"And that's just dandy. Bells and whistles and all that jazz - but it's not going to make up for everything else that has gone on. You got to give him time to sort things out and determine what he wants now."

"What if he decides that there's no place for Eiri after all?" Tohma finally voiced his main fear. That after everything that has happened, even after regaining his memories, Shuichi still would decide to not be with Eiri. Just thinking about that made his heart ache.

"Then that's his decision," Jim answered bluntly. "Tohma, you've got to stop trying to fix everything for everyone all the time. You can't do it. You should know that by now."

"I thought you were always the great advocate of love winning against the odds?" Tohma said.

"I am, but I'm also a realist," Jim answered, "Love sometimes isn't enough. I learnt that the hard way. You need to butt out."

"So, because you lost, you're prepared to give up on everyone else?" Tohma shot back, a little stung by his friend's words.

There was a heavy silence on the other end of the phone before Jim responded. "Don't," he grated out, "go there. Don't you even dare." The words were layered with a myriad of emotions and Tohma was immediately remorseful for his thoughtless remark.

"I'm sorry," he said meaning it, trying to pour all his regret into those two words. "Truly, I am sorry. That was unforgivable of me."

Further silence, drawing out so long that Tohma began to fear that this time he may have alienated his old friend for good with that one unthinking comment. He knew he didn't have any right to say anything about that. Not to Jim of all people.

The silence was broken with a soft 'humph'. "Forget it," Jim's voice finally reached through the line.

"Jim," Tohma began but he was interrupted.

"Don't sweat it, man," Jim said, sounding a little more like his usual self, although his voice was thick with tiredness and a touch of….something else. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. I'm just acting like a bear with a sore head right now. Forget it."

"Sorry," Tohma said once more, knowing Jim had forgiven his carelessness and feeling immensely grateful that he had seen fit to do so.

"So," Jim began, his voice strengthening a little. "What are you going to do now?"

Tohma turned back to lean his elbow on the desk, supporting the phone to his ear as he watched the play of sunlight across the floor of his office. "I guess I have to leave it alone."

"Oh, be still my beating heart!" Jim said in a falsetto voice, startling Tohma at the sudden change. Then his voice dropped to its normal baritone. "Could I be hearing correctly? The great Tohma Seguchi saying he's actually going to stop meddling in someone else's life?"

"Don't push it," Tohma mock growled, although his lips were twitching with wry amusement at Jim's ribbing. Jim Harris was probably one of the very few people who could have got away with making fun of him!

"Why not? This is an auspicious moment – enough to be kept for posterity's sake. I don't know if we'll ever see this happen again!"

"Keep going and I'll send Ryuichi to see you."

"Whoa! No, you don't! After nearly no sleep for three days there is no way I could cope with dealing with that schizo!"

"Then behave yourself."

"Yes, mummy,"

"Idiot."

"Jerk."

Tohma was smiling fully now as he suddenly realized something. "You do know," he said calmly, with false sweetness, "that we are sounding just like Shindou and Eiri right now?"

"What? You're kidding?"

"No, the name calling seems to almost be like a love call between the two of them at times."

"Argh, I'll never be able to cuss again without thinking about that!"

"So are you trying to say you love me?" Tohma said in a simpering voice.

"Tohma, my darling sweetheart, you know I love you dearly - but try and touch me and I'll make certain that there's no way Mika will be having a second child by you!"

Tohma chuckled, "But then you would have to confront Mika's wrath." he pointed out.

"Hmm, yes, that could be a problem." Jim pondered, "Guess I'll have to see if they plan to set up a base in Antarctica and put in for a transfer. She wouldn't be able to reach me there."

"Don't bet on it," Tohma said to him, enjoying the moment of silliness, "She has a long arm when she wants to. You had better watch out for the penguins."

"What? I'm going to be attacked by guerilla penguins now? What are they going to be able to do? Waddle me to death?"

"Well, they could stake you out and leave you to get frostbite."

"Mika doesn't hate me enough to kill me."

"No, you're right," Tohma agreed. Jim was right, Mika did actually like him. "However, it could be arranged that you get frostbite in just certain places."

"Like where?" Jim sounded quite curious now although this was an entirely ludicrous conversation but it was quite amusing to see just how plausible they could make it.

"Well, since you would take revenge on me in a certain way, I'm sure that Mika would look at making her retribution match. Frostbite does affect all appendages remember. And things then have a tendency to fall off."

"Oooh, chilly!" Tohma could almost feel Jim shiver on the other end of the line. He crossed his own legs, feeling a little chill over his own groin at the thought. Oh, yes, that would be…very unpleasant. "Dammit!" Jim continued, "that is exactly what your wife would do to! Guess Antarctica is out after all."

"So it would seem," Tohma agreed smugly. He liked to think that there wasn't a place on earth that Mika couldn't reach if she put her mind to it. It was a comforting thought for him for it meant that no matter where he was she would be with him.

"Fine then," Jim said sounding disgruntled, "guess I'll have to just leave you alone."

"So that means I can touch you then?"

"Do it and you die," Jim replied threateningly.

"How about a kiss then?"

"Gods, Tohma, you're killing me! Will you just shut up! I need to get some sleep and you're trying to give me nightmares. Enough with the sex talk!"

Tohma chuckled, "Very well, I'll just have to blow you a kiss through the phone." He heard Jim groan down the line. "Anyway," he then continued, "enough of this nonsense. I'll let you get to your rest."

"As if I could after all that," Jim groused. "So are you really going to back off?" His voice was serious now as they returned to the original point of this conversation.

"It looks as though I will have to," Tohma reluctantly said, "It would appear that it is now up to the two of them to work through this."

"I think that's the best thing to do," Jim agreed. "Don't get between love, Tohma. You should know that."

"Yes, I know. But it's still hard to just sit back and watch."

"Close your eyes."

"That is not very practical."

"So what? Go by touch."

"Are we back on the other topic now?" Tohma wanted to know.

"Ew, get out of here!" Jim replied. "Try dragging your mind out of the gutter for a moment!"

"Gutters can be very interesting," Tohma answered, tapping his long fingers on the desk top. "It's amazing what you can find in them. Or who."

"And just what are you implying?" Jim said with mock anger.

"You can't deny that we both spent our fair share in the gutters together – even sewers, if I remember correctly."

There was a pause before Jim replied, "Yeah, you remembered right. But that was a long time ago."

"Yes, it was. But you still haven't forgotten."

"I never will."

"I know."

Neither spoke for a moment as the past came back to them in a rush, then Tohma broke the silence. "Go and get some sleep," he instructed, "and thank you for listening."

"Hell, we didn't exactly talk about much," Jim said.

"I thought the intellectual discussion of penguins and frostbite was very educational." Tohma put in.

"No, that was just downright scary." Jim replied.

Tohma laughed, "Thank you, Jim. Good-bye."

"See ya, you idiot."

"Jerk." Tohma managed to get the last word in as he cut the connection, a smile still on his face. He always felt good after speaking with Jim. Their friendship was very different from that he had with anyone else which wasn't surprising. It had developed from very different beginnings after all.

He turned his chair again so he was facing the window fully. The sun was much lower in the sky now, slowly slipping behind the taller buildings and soon those shadows would block out the direct light. He sat there bathed in the sunlight, soaking up the warmth whilst it still lasted.

Jim was correct. This time he had to just stay out of it and let Shindou and Eiri work things out for themselves, no matter what was happening. He had to try and let go, even though it was very difficult for him to do so. He had to put his faith in the love the two bore for each other that was evident even now, despite everything else.

He steepled his hands under his chin, resting it lightly on his fingertips. However, Jim had been correct about something else also. Love wasn't always enough in the face of great adversity. Just because you loved did not mean you would have the happy ending. Jim knew that only too well, and Tohma had been the witness to that unhappy time.

He stood and walked to the window, resting a hand on the warmed glass. Was it wrong for him to want the happily-ever-after for Shindou and Eiri? He didn't think so but he didn't know how to give that to them. Jim hadn't got his happily-ever-after despite the two of them striving so hard for that. He hadn't been able to help Jim back then, so what made him think that he could now give the same thing to Eiri.

A shadow fell over him, making him give a brief shiver at the change in the temperature. That had been a terrible time, way back when he had been living in New York. As he stood there in the darkening shadows his thoughts drifted back to another place and time, years in the past.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** none  
Summary: Side story to 'The Key to My Heart'. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 2

"So let's go over this once more,"

Tohma maintained a neutral expression, trying hard to radiate an aura of complete calm even though his heart was thumping and he longed to rub at his burning eyes. He had been here for hours, how many he didn't know. He hadn't bothered to check his watch since he had first arrived, fearing they would think it was a sign of nervousness. In his mind he ticked off the time. Every minute, every hour he was here, meant that the plane was further away, safe and out of their reach. He would put up sitting here for days to ensure that.

He began his story again, concentrating hard, knowing they were just waiting to see if he would trip up over a previously stated fact. He already repeated this story a number of times, each time ensuring it was exactly the same. He couldn't afford to make any mistakes. If he did, if he showed any crack in this armour he was weaving, they would have him. Or worse, they would have…

He pulled his weary and emotionally drained mind back on track, hoping the two visible, and however many non-visible, listeners hadn't noticed that small lapse in his thoughts. Concentrate, he commanded himself, steeling his mind against any other stray thoughts. Stay on track and, for all the gods' sakes, keep concentrating!

He began at the beginning; always a good place to start, if you started there it would follow a logical pattern as you traced the steps you wished to take to the final conclusion. Anything else would have just made it extremely messy and difficult to keep track of. So he kept his voice well modulated with just the right touch of emotion where it was required, but other than that, maintaining a certain distance in his voice from the events. He wasn't supposed to be intimately acquainted with the final result.

So once again he wove his alibi into the story, carefully watching the two men before him, watching their eyes, their faces, every twitch of the hands or movement of the body, anything that would give him a clue, a tell-tale sign of what they were thinking or how they were reacting to his reiteration. So far it had seemed to all be in his favour, despite their obvious disappointment.

The first part of the tale was easy; it was facts, pure and simple. Stick with the facts where possible, there was less chance they could trip him up from those. All of that had been completely above board and could be verified easily. They would find no fault there. So the facts were easy. Then begin to weave the half truths. Just enough to slightly distort the facts as they had been, just skew them a little so an outsider would arrive at a different conclusion to what had actually been. It sometimes didn't take much and Tohma had become an expert of 'subtle' by now so he used that skill shamelessly here. Just give them enough to send them in a direction other than that that the true facts would have given them.

Coming to the end was a little harder. This was where he was having to downright lie. He had to tread very carefully here, very carefully indeed. This was the crucial point in the telling. He still had some truths to work with but they were very few and far between. He couldn't embellish it too much, that would be far too heavy-handed and would most likely only direct them to digging deeper in a place he didn't wish them to. As it was he would have do some fast talking and fancy footwork, figuratively speaking, to draw their attention away from a certain path. They would certainly still look there, no matter what; there was nothing he could have done about that. But he hoped he was able to ensure that that look was nothing more than cursory at the best. Keep them misdirected, keep them looking outwards not inwards, keep them looking for an insubstantial shadowy being with no name or face, let them expend their energy chasing phantoms, and thus leaving he and his alone.

And so he continued to weave his magic through the words, conjuring this illusionary world as he called upon all the skills and ability he had at his disposal. He had to provide that protection. He had promised that he would. That was all he could do now, this was all he had to offer, this twisted tale. He was out of any other options.

He reached the end of the story once again, falling silent after the last sentence. That silence filled the room as he watched the two men opposite him watching him, neither of them speaking, neither of them moving. Then one leant forward a little, resting an elbow on the table and pointing a finger directly at Tohma.

"So let me get this straight," the man began.

Ah, Tohma thought, now comes more of the interrogation questions, designed to cast doubt into the mind of the suspect. He refused to let it ruffle him.

"You're saying that you were aware of Kitazawa's drug problem?"

"I suspected something," Tohma replied with a half truth. Oh, he had known all right, and it was due to his misjudgment of the situation that this whole scenario had now arisen. Finding himself sitting here now seemed only right somehow, a fitting result for his error. This was justice for his mistakes.

"And yet you still let him work for you?" Skepticism filled the voice.

"I spoke to him about it, to try and determine if I was correct in my assumption," Tohma responded calmly. Again another half truth. "I hadn't seen any real evidence of this problem during the few years he had been tutoring my charge and it hadn't seemed to have affected his performance or his working relationship."

"So just what was the relationship between Kitazawa and your young friend?" A sudden probing question designed to shock and get past the defenses - and one that Tohma had to deflect quickly to halt that line of thinking.

"Eiri respected and admired Kitazawa. He was, after all, his closest friend here during his stay. He was inspired by Kitazawa and wished to emulate him in many ways, even being inspired in looking at becoming a novelist as his tutor wished to be."

"So there was nothing more?" They were still digging. He needed to get those figurative shovels away from them.

"Just what are you implying?" Tohma asked back, still keeping his face straight and his voice calm. He had to find a way to cease this line of questioning.

"Okay, I'll come straight out and say it. Was Kitazawa screwing Eiri?" Full on shock treatment now. They weren't holding back anymore, no more hedging around the subject. They were getting far too close for Tohma's comfort. Misdirect them, get focused back on me, his racing thoughts demanded.

Tohma managed a light laugh, hoping it didn't have a touch of hysteria to it which would completely ruin the impression he was trying to create. "However did you come up with that?" he managed to say with a half smile, seeming amused by the question. "Let me assure you that Kitazawa didn't touch Eiri in all the years he had been working as his tutor."

"How can you be so sure?" they pressed, trying to shake his calm resolve, trying to rattle him. Oh, no, you don't, he thought back to them, trying to look into their very souls. You don't know who you are dealing with here. You won't break me that easily. His blank features gave them no inkling of the fierce thoughts that were churning inside his mind. I won't let you touch Eiri. I won't let you touch anything that is mine. No-one touches what is mine!

His voice was perfectly collected as he answered the blunt question, "Because I was the only other person in New York that Eiri knew. He's known me for many years, he lived with me here, and he told me everything that was happening, including every moment he spent with Yuki Kitazawa. Believe me, I would have known if there had been anything of the sort occurring."

"You sound mighty confident," They seemed a little upset at this attribute.

Are you so used to others caving before your onslaught, Tohma wondered, still watching them carefully, trying to read every flicker of emotion they let slip that would indicate their corresponding thoughts. His head was beginning to ache with the intensity of the concentration he was trying to maintain. Up till now you must have only been dealing with idiots. Now you are dealing with me.

Tohma looked back at them calmly and spoke very precisely, "I am."

"Humph!" One of the men stood and walked towards the door whilst the still seated partner leant further forward. "So how come you suddenly put Eiri on a plane back to Japan tonight? That's was pretty sudden, wasn't it? Perhaps a bit too much of a coincidence?"

Back on the attack now, Tohma thought. Back to trying to see just how much they can push me to lose my temper. He clamped down more firmly on his own emotions, pushing the anger that was certainly there far into the deepest pit in his soul. He would not let it escape here. He would not be ruled by his emotions. Nothing but calm.

"Not at all," he answered levelly, "As I have said, Eiri hadn't been feeling very well the last few days. He had tried to hide it but I knew that something was troubling him. I managed to have him tell me a little and realized that the best place for him to be to work through these issues was back home with his family. I am only a friend after all, albeit a close family friend, but it is not the same as being within his own family confines. I did what I thought was best for him. I had already decided that is what I would do and fairly soon, however when I had finished work today," was it still today, he thought absently, or was it already yesterday? "and arrived home I could see he was even more upset. I had no intention of letting it go on any longer without him having the support of his family. I found out that there was availability on tonight's flight and so decided that there was no point in putting it off. That is all there was to it."

"Really?" Disbelief coloured the man's voice.

"Yes," Tohma replied, still sitting perfectly still.

During his conversation he had heard the door open, the murmur of voices and then the click as the door closed once more. The second detective approached and leant down to whisper in his partner's ear for a moment. A brief nod from the other acknowledged what he had said.

"Okay, Mr. Seguchi, we've got some things to check out from what you've told us." The man stood and both left the room, leaving Tohma still seated there. Even with their presence gone Tohma didn't dare drop his guard. The large glass panel opposite him made him more than a little nervous. There could be ten people behind that, or there could be no-one. He couldn't drop his façade now, just in case. So all he did was shift a little on the hard seat, trying to hide the wince at his aching back, and lean his elbows on the table top to rest his chin in his hands.

Keep flying, keep flying, he repeated in his mind like a mantra. Eiri would be nearly home by now, if not already. He really had lost track of time and he was now too tired to even try and check his watch. Mika would look after Eiri from now on. He would be all right now. He stifled a yawn that threatened to break out. He was so tired, so very tired.

The sound of the door opening again roused him from a half-doze, even though his eyes were open. Careless, he scolded himself, stay alert. Don't let them catch you off guard. He looked up to see a different man enter alone, unaccompanied by the other two previous detectives.

Tohma looked him over, taking in the smart casual dress. The man would be taller than he was by a few inches he guessed, and had dark hair and bright blue eyes. He looked to be around five, or anything up to ten, years older than himself, it was a little hard to guess any closer in this bad lighting.

The man walked directly over to the table and placed a steaming styrofoam cup in front of him, a match to the one held in the other hand. The subtle aroma of coffee infiltrated Tohma's nostrils making his mind buzz at the mere smell. The other man sat down opposite him and sipped at his own cup.

"You can drink it, you know," he said, nodding towards the cup still standing untouched before him. "It's not poisoned or anything."

Tohma let one corner of his mouth twitch a little as he reached for the cup. "It would be difficult to explain away the corpse under such circumstances I would suspect." he said as he took a grateful sip. He hadn't been offered anything to drink or eat since he had arrived and the hot beverage tasted like heaven.

"Especially of someone as well connected as you are," the other replied with a straight face and a flat voice.

Tohma looked up quickly. Connected? What did he mean? "I don't quite follow you," he said carefully, taking another sip and watching the other over the rim of the cup, "Just what do you mean?"

"Aw, come on, don't kid around! You're Tohma Seguchi, keyboardist for the band, Nittle Grasper, a Japanese import that isn't doing half bad over here."

Tohma felt his eyebrows rise before he could school his face into neutrality. "I'm surprised you know of me." Tohma looked him over again. He certainly didn't look like the type of person who would follow their music. Was he a closet Jpop fan?

The man waved one hand in a nonchalant manner, "Those guys," jabbing a thumb in the direction of the mirror behind him, "wouldn't have a clue about it. They just think you are something to do with the music industry. Me, I know exactly just who you are."

"And why is that?" Tohma was curious now, despite himself. If this was a ploy to catch him off guard it was a novel approach.

The man's mouth turned down in a mock pout, "My fiancée happens to love your band. She's gone completely ga-ga over it, along with half a dozen of her friends." He rolled his eyes heavenward in an expression of exasperation. "Your next tour is all they can talk about lately. Got any idea of when tickets are going to go on sale?"

Tohma sat there a moment longer, taking another drink from his coffee as he tried to change his mind channels. Who was this person? And how did they get on to talking about tickets for Nittle Grasper's next tour! Just where was this trying to head? He was feeling himself getting confused in his sleep-deprived mind. Not a good sign, he thought, trying to gather his scattered thoughts together again. Okay, go with the flow, keep it together.

"Well, we haven't set a date just yet," he replied, "Of course, depending on what you people intend to do with me could have quite an impact as to whether the tour with go on or not." A not-to-subtle dig at the current situation as it stood.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," the man said, seeming without a care in the world, brushing Tohma's comment aside as though it was of no matter at all.

Tohma was beginning to feel more tired by the minute, and this casual banter was not helping his frayed nerves. He wasn't going to be able to keep this up for much longer. He decided that he had been calm enough for long enough and it was now time to begin exerting his authority a little more.

He finished the last of the coffee and set the cup down firmly on the table, fixing the other man with a hard glare. "I appreciate the coffee. It was the first sign of good manners I had experienced from anyone here. My opinion of the police force has risen one small notch - but considering it was currently sitting in a negative position, that doesn't really mean a great deal."

The man's brows rose but he said nothing as Tohma continued, "I understand perfectly that you people have a job to do. This situation is disturbing indeed and more disturbing when I consider how much harm my charge may have been subjected to unwittingly if things had escalated. However, I am aware of my rights and am fully aware you cannot hold me indefinitely, so I will shortly be making a call to my Embassy if you do not provide me with some valid reason for why you insisting on continuing to hold me here. Your lack of manners and hospitality, not including your lack of following correct procedure, does not endear yourselves to me in any way. I'm sure the media would have a field day with this matter if they managed to get hold of it also."

The man gently placed his own empty cup on the table as well before speaking, "Wouldn't that work both ways?" he asked. "Your name would be getting dragged through the muck as well."

Tohma smiled, and not pleasantly. He was tired of pulling his punches – hell, he was just plain tired. "From my perspective as a musician, any publicity becomes good publicity when used correctly. Believe me, we could turn something like this to create an enormous amount of sympathy for myself as a person, and thus generate a huge amount of interest in Nittle Grasper. That would only be good for sales of our albums, as well as ticket sales for the next tour, not to mention getting ourselves known to a far wider audience than we have done so far." Tohma leant back on the uncomfortable chair, clasping his hands carefully together on the table before him. "Believe me, this could truly be used to our advantage. The same could not be said for yourselves."

The man opposite leant back also, almost mirroring Tohma's stance. A smile played at the corner of his mouth, and Tohma was certain he detected a slight twinkle of humour in those eyes in the room's dim light. "You are probably right. In other words you are telling me that if we don't get our act together, you'll screw us big time."

"I don't recall saying anything of the sort," Tohma replied levelly. "Which I'm sure your recording of this conversation would clearly show. What interpretation you put on things is entirely your own doing, and none of mine."

A quiet chuckle filled the silence after his last comment, a chuckle that grew to a laugh. The other man stood, still laughing softly to himself. "Okay, you've got us," he said, looking down at Tohma with a smile. "Leave it with me and I'll get it sorted out."

"I trust that it will be done propitiously," Tohma said succinctly.

"Absolutely pronto!" the man said, holding up a hand in a half salute. "Scouts honour!" and he breezed out the door.

Scouts honour, Tohma wondered. Was that some sort of secret society or something?

He didn't have enough time to think further about it as the door opened once more and the man returned, a broad smile on his face. This time the door wasn't closed behind him. He walked over to the table and perched on the corner, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Okay, we've just to wait for about another ten minutes," he began, looking down at Tohma. "Are you cool with that?"

"Why?" Tohma asked, not really expecting an answer.

"They're still making some calls."

"So they are calling Ms. Uesugi." Tohma made it a statement.

"You don't miss much, do you?" the man said, with a wry grin. "Yeah, they're calling her. They want to check out what you claimed, you know about your charge's state of mind and all that."

"I see,"

"So will you wait?"

"And if I say no?"

The man waved towards the open door, "There's the door. You're free to leave if that's what you want."

Tohma looked at the door, pursing his lips in thought. "If I leave right at this moment I will no doubt only be bothered by you people again in a matter of hours, if not minutes, is that not true?"

The man shrugged, "Probably," he admitted.

Tohma let out a small sigh, "Then I shall wait. For ten minutes only."

"Okay then," the man said heartily, "I'm going to go get us another coffee so sit tight for a bit."

True to his word he was back in a moment with two more cups of steaming liquid. Tohma didn't generally drink this much coffee and certainly not this late at night, or was it early morning by now? But just at this moment he really needed it.

"Mind if I smoke?" the other asked, taking a seat opposite again.

Tohma waved a hand giving permission, "Go ahead."

"Thanks."

Tohma watched the other remove cigarettes and lighter, watched the cigarette end glow when was met by the flame and the man leaning back to inhale deeply, then a pause before he exhaled sending the smoke twisting upwards towards the ceiling.

"You know your story corresponds with what we already had on file."

The sudden comment startled Tohma out of his own internal introspection. He focused his attention back on his opposite number.

"It had been easy to run a back ground check on Kitazawa as soon as we were called in, and it was all there; his family, his schooling, his employment. There's no problem finding out any of that stuff. However, now – well, there's obviously a little more underneath. Thought you might like to know, there were two other men found in Kitazawa's place, both dead as well. Both of them came up in our databanks."

The man took another drag on his cigarette, "That means they already had records - for drug dealings. That's how we guessed Kitazawa must have been caught up in it too. There was a small packet of crack on him at the time, so it looks like they might have been surprised during a drug deal, though there wasn't enough to get excited about. Usually when something like this happens pretty big loads are involved. This was mere chicken feed, not even enough for these type of guys to break a sweat over. That's what's so odd."

He shrugged, shifting a little on his chair, "It could be that a rival gang got wind of something going down, assumed it was something big, and tried to get the jump on them. That's fairly normal amongst the dealers. It's a competitive market out there. So that's what it looks like. Another dealer busted in thinking they had hit pay dirt, instead all they busted was a normal small hand-over. They wouldn't have got squat for that so it would have been a complete waste of their time. All that trouble for nothing."

He blew out another lungful of smoke, not looking at Tohma, "Though there are a few things that are odd. Kitazawa obviously wasn't anything big time, he was nothing more than a druggie, just one of many these guys would have been supplying. But for those two guys to be there together there must have been something important going on. It's thought that most likely they were going to go onto somewhere else where the real business was going to take place, and the stop at Kitazawa's apartment was just that; a stop-over to do the drop and then move on. They just happened to be caught by the other gang there instead of where the real deal was going to happen. That's what is thought anyway." He shrugged again, "We'll never know now. Looks like Kitazawa was just unlucky enough to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"So that is the current consensus?" Tohma questioned.

The man reached out to stub the cigarette into the empty cup before him, immediately lighting another. "Yep. They've decided that the gun being left there, wiped clean no less, was just to get rid of the evidence once they realized they had made a mistake. At least they weren't so stupid as to try and put it in the hand of one of the corpses to try and pretend it was some sort of cheesy murder-suicide incident." He exhaled deeply, "Yes, it was a pretty neat and tidy little scene, for all the goriness of the situation. If they had been trying to do a cover-up they did a pretty good one really. Keep it nice and simple, and avoid trying to complicate the situation." He finally dropped his eyes to meet Tohma's. "Don't you think so?"

Tohma kept his face blank, "I'm not a policeman," he merely pointed out calmly. "It is not up to me to think about what was there or not."

"Hmm," another exhalation, "you are quite correct."

The cigarette had almost reached the end. "Why are you telling me this?" Tohma asked mildly. "Isn't this breaking protocol to talk about the case to one of the suspects?"

"You're not a suspect," he said, "Not any more. It seems pretty clear cut to them out there now. They were just giving you a hard time because they couldn't lay their hands on anyone else. And it makes them look good in the boss's eyes."

"So they had already spoken with Ms. Uesugi?"

The man nodded, not showing any shame for his earlier lie, "Yep, and it all matched up perfectly with what you had said." He looked across at Tohma with a broad smile, "She also gave them a real earful for calling at this hour and disturbing her and her elderly father's rest, not to mention how dare we harass her little brother in another country! She's a real tiger!"

"Yes, she is," Tohma couldn't stop the affection that infused those three words.

The smile on the other's face grew wider. "Don't tell me you and she…" He left it unfinished as he glanced at Tohma's hands, seeing the ring glinting there. "Ah, so she's your little lady?"

"We are betrothed, if you really must know," Tohma said.

"So when's the big day?"

"When I am able to prove to her father that I can adequately support her."

The man chortled, "Hell, how greedy could the old geezer be? You're a big pop star, you must be rolling in it!"

"Her father is a monk. Money is not exactly what he is seeking."

The man's eyes widened, "A monk, huh? Geez, that must be tough." A final drag on the cigarette, "Hey, want to see something cool?" and he sat back and blew a perfect smoke ring. They both watched it drift upwards, slowly dissipating until there was nothing left. Smoke and mirrors, Tohma thought. That's all any of this was, smoke and mirrors.

Tohma glanced at his watch and stood, "Ten minutes is up," he said, making his way to the open door. "I believe I have fulfilled my side of this bargain."

"Sure," was the placid answer from behind him. He paused and turned, seeing the man still sitting there calmly. "Not a problem," He looked over at Tohma and tossed him a quick smile. "It's not like we don't know how to reach you. You're not planning on having any emotional crisis from all this that's going to send you running back to Japan in the near future, are you?" The question was asked very calmly but Tohma read the underlying meaning, 'Don't leave the country' and 'We'll be watching you'. This man was far from the relaxed, seemingly completely unaware person he pretended to be.

"No," he answered just as calmly. "I will be here for sometime yet. After all," and this time he smiled back, "We have a tour to perform."

"Great!" the man said, standing abruptly and striding over to him. "I'll see you out. But before I do, could you sign this for me?" He held out the second styrofoam cup and a pen.

Tohma looked at him with perplexity, but he just grinned, "I told you. My fiancée is mad keen on your band. You thought I was kidding, didn't you? Believe me, I wouldn't make up something like this. If she found out that I had been speaking with you and hadn't got your autograph I can tell you now that I'd be singing soprano for the rest of my life!"

"She sounds quite formidable," Tohma replied, taking the pen and scrawling his name around the curve of the cup before handing it back.

"I think it would be a good idea to never let her and your missus ever meet. Their…shall we say personalities, sound a little too similar. If they ever got together our lives wouldn't be worth living!"

"That would probably be true," Tohma responded, another smile tugging involuntarily at his lips. By this time they had reached the main doors and the man buzzed them through, leading Tohma right to the doors exiting onto the street.

"Are you okay to get home?" He was asked solicitously.

"Yes, I'll grab a cab," Tohma said, setting off down the stairs.

"Okay then. It was nice meeting you - and thanks for the autograph!" and with a jaunty wave the man turned to go.

On impulse Tohma called out, not really knowing why, and asked, "What is your name?"

"Me?" the man said, then smiled and winked at him. "Jim. Jim Harris. Catch ya!" and he disappeared back into the building.

Tohma turned slowly and made his way to the sidewalk with weary steps. Fortunately just at that moment a cab drifted past and he hurriedly waved it down, thanking whatever gods who were watching over him at this time for their benevolence. He could barely keep his eyes open and his whole body felt drained and strained as though he had been exerting himself both physically and mentally far past his limits. In many ways he had.

As he leant back with a sigh into the comfortable softness of the cab's seat he thought back to the man he had just spent so long with. Jim Harris, he mused, what a strange man.

The sound of the door opening behind him brought Tohma out of his memories and back to the present. He turned to see Mika standing there.

"Are you finished for the day?' she asked, leaning on the frame elegantly.

He smiled at her. "Yes, I'm done here. Shall we have dinner out?"

"Ah, yes, that would be nice." she agreed, walking over to collect his coat and hat and holding them out to him as he drew near.

He nodded his thanks as he slipped on both and held out his arm for her to take. "What were you so deep in thought about?" she asked as they walked down the silent corridor.

"Hmm?" he said, turning to look at her.

"I knocked twice and you didn't even hear me."

"Sorry," he apologised.

"Don't apologise. Tell me what were you thinking about? Was it about Eiri and Shuichi still?"

"Actually, no," he said with a smile.

"No?" She sounded like she didn't believe him. Not surprising really when usually those two were constantly on his mind.

"If you really want to know, I was thinking about Jim."

"Oh, have you spoken to him lately?"

"Yes, just today,"

"How is he?"

"Fine, though busy by the sounds of it."

"He needs to find a wife," Mika stated flatly.

"Perhaps,' Tohma remained non-committal.

"So," Mika spoke up again after a moment of silence just before they reached the car, "Just what about Jim were you thinking?"

He unlocked the vehicle and held the door open so she could seat herself in the passenger seat. "Oh, just the past," He closed the door and walked round to the driver's side, seating himself quickly.

"I thought you weren't gong to dwell on the past anymore?" she said softly.

He reached across and stroked the back of her hand gently before returning his hand to the steering wheel. "I'm not. I was just remembering."

"All right then,"

Tohma was glad she didn't pursue her questioning. There were many things that even Mika didn't know about his association with Jim. She knew the main points, but he had never told her everything.

From that inauspicious initial meeting under those strained conditions, it seemed that his and Jim's fates were inextricably tied together; neither able to escape the other, until neither wanted to escape the other. He had thought that first meeting was the worst way he could have met anyone, especially someone who came to be such a good friend.

He couldn't have known back then just how wrong he was to have been – and that the worst was yet to come.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** none

Author's Note: I know that it seems that Ryuichi is out of character here, but I'm following through a question that has always been in my mind which is, 'Has Ryuichi always been the way he was in 'Gravitation', or did something happen to make him like that?' So I'm just exploring this thought.  
Summary: Side story to 'The Key to My Heart'. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained Memories: Chapter 3

"Are you all right!" The cry reverberated through his aching head, bouncing off the inside of his overly-sensitized skull and making him wince as the decibel level assaulted his sleep-deprived sensitive ears.

The door he had barely opened was pushed inwards violently as a body seemed to literally fly in and struck his hard making his stumble backwards as two arms wrapped tightly around his neck as though preparing to strangle what little life he still carried within him out of all existence.

Getting over his initial shock he responded. His own arms wrapped around the lithe body, reaching up to rest on the shoulders and squeezing gently as he smiled into the long hair that was tickling his nose.

"Yes, I'm fine," he said gently, soothingly stroking the back, feeling it shaking under his touch and the slightest dampness against the skin of his neck.

"Tohma!" Another pair of arms engulfed him, this time from behind, crushing a second body against his.

Sandwiched between these two warm bodies he felt himself beginning to relax for the first time since his desperate flight in search of Eiri. A small smile touched his face as he closed his eyes and let himself savour the warmth emanating from these two people, not just in terms of body heat but also a warmth that touched his heart and soul. His arms tightened gratefully around Noriko before he snaked one upwards to grip Ryuichi's arm hard, trying to express all that he felt for his two friends and the support that they always gave him.

Finally the three way hug slowly released, although none of them fully lost contact with each other; Noriko's hand slipping down to hold one of Tohma's whilst Ryuichi kept one arm draped around his shoulders.

Noriko looked him up and down, scrutinizing him critically. "You look like hell," she stated bluntly.

He smiled weakly at her precise comment, "I feel like it," he replied honestly. He really did, more than he ever had in his life.

"Sit down," she ordered, tugging him over to the lounge and with a hand on his shoulder forcing him to seat himself. Ryuichi was still glued to his side. "I don't suppose you've eaten anything for ages?"

"Ah," He thought about it and realized that it had been nearly twenty-four hours since he had. "Not for a while," he admitted, "but I'm not really hungry." He felt too tired to eat.

Noriko placed her hands on her hips and glared at him in the way that only she could. "All the more reason you need to," she said firmly. "You need to give your body some food and then it's straight to bed." She turned and made her way to the kitchen, calling back over her shoulder, "Ryu, make certain he stays put." she commanded.

"Sure, Nori," Ryuichi replied, sidling closer to Tohma. It felt like if Ryuichi could have got away with sitting on his lap he would have done so, but he saved Tohma that humiliation.

"How did you know?" Tohma asked. For, of course, they must have known about his night's misadventure. There was no other reason for them to be here at this time of the morning, or to greet him in this way otherwise. He could hear the clattering of pans, the sound of the fridge opening accompanied by rustling paper as Noriko moved around easily in his small kitchen.

"We were phoned," she said, pulling a chopping board from a top cupboard and placing it on the bench. She picked up a large knife and looked over to where he sat. Although she was smiling, it didn't reach her eyes. "They wanted to know if you had been with us at the studio and when did you leave, other stuff like that. They also had some questions about Kitazawa," She paused for a moment. "We guessed something was up then."

She began chopping quickly as Tohma turned his head to look at Ryuichi by his side. "They called you both?"

Ryu nodded his head quickly, his eyes fixed on Tohma's. "They called so early. How can I be sparking when I'm all worn out?"

"Yes, sorry about that, Ryu. I had hoped that they wouldn't see any need to bother either of you, or at least not till a more civilized hour."

"Humph!" Noriko snorted from her place in the kitchen, "Like they cared! They were so rude; prodding and prying, they even started making digs at just what sort of relationship I had with you, or Ryu!" Tohma could see she was still quite angry over that. "I put them straight on that point!" The knife flashed down hard and Tohma winced a little imagining the deep gouge that no doubt now resided in the surface of his best chopping board.

"Anyway," and Noriko looked up once more with a small sly smile on her face and an evil glint in her eyes. "I hope you don't mind but we said that you had stayed on a little later than you had. Not enough to contradict your story, because you would have been telling the truth, but we've changed the clock in the studio to be just a tad slow, so you can just tell them that the time you were going on was from that. It should be enough to just keep them off balance a little to try and see if they can account for that time in their little plans."

"'We'?" he questioned, looking from her to Ryuichi. "Were you together when they called?"

"Oh, no," Noriko answered, turning to drop the food into the simmering pot on the stove. She looked over her shoulder with that well known grin, "You should know by now that we all manage to think alike when it comes to the crunch! Ryu came up with the same thought on his own, so our stories matched perfectly!"

Tohma looked again at Ryuichi who had released his almost strangle hold on him now but still held him pinned with his intense gaze. He was too damn tired to try and escape him anyway. "Ryu?" he queried.

His friend looked back at him with completely serious eyes. "It wasn't too hard to realize that if they were calling me they would also be calling Noriko, if they hadn't already done so. Since they were asking about you it was only logical to assume that you were in some sort of trouble, and if they were trying verify your movements that meant that they were trying to work out a time frame." He shrugged a little, "So it just made sense to try and throw a small spanner in the works. A difference of twenty minutes or so can be the difference between life and death, can't it?"

Tohma didn't reply to that. How right that was. If he had just been perhaps those twenty minutes earlier home he may have been here in time to stop Eiri ever leaving for that fateful meeting. He cursed his own poor timing.

"Anyway," Ryuichi continued, "I knew that Noriko would be thinking the same thing, and as you've always made fun of her for having her watch set twenty minutes fast I thought that would be the first figure that she would pick, so I just said the same thing."

Tohma caught Noriko nodding out of the corner of his eye. "And that's just what did happen," she confirmed. "Since they woke me from a perfectly sound sleep and I was dead tired anyway I really wasn't firing on all cylinders just at that time, so the only figure I could come up with was my twenty minutes. And I was pretty sure Ryu would follow through on it as well. So you see," and she smiled brightly at him, "We weren't going to leave you hanging! I hope that gave those arrogant smarmy bastards something to think about!"

She snorted again, in a very unladylike manner as she leant down out of sight before straightening with plates in her hands. "Okay, come and get it!" she sang out as she filled the dishes.

Ryuichi gave Tohma a helping hand up, one that he really did need for without that assistance he wasn't certain he would have had the strength to stand on his own. He perched on one of the stools and looked at the food before him. He really didn't feel like eating, in fact the mere thought made him feel nauseous.

"Just start, Tohma," He looked up and directly into Noriko's gentle eyes. She smiled softly at him. "Give it a try."

To please her he picked up his chopsticks and placed a portion in his mouth, chewing carefully. He had been right; his stomach lurched alarmingly as that first mouthful reached it. He hesitated for a moment, about to place his implements back on their rest, when his shoulder was tapped.

He turned his head towards Ryu and felt something push against his lips. Automatically he opened them, and felt the chopsticks slide inside and deposit their cargo on his tongue before withdrawing. He had no choice now but to chew and swallow, he wasn't so undignified as to spit it directly out. This time he was surprised. Instead of churning over as the new food arrived his stomach actually grumbled, wanting more.

He looked down a little startled at his own growling abdomen as Ryuichi burst out laughing and Noriko chuckled.

"See, I told you your body probably needed it!" she said, holding out his chopsticks to him.

He took them and returned to his plate as Ryu still sniggered at his side. He stole a quick look at his friend who stuck his tongue out in return. Tohma just rolled his eyes and returned to eating.

It didn't take long to finish and they didn't try and talk to him during this time either, leaving him in peace. Noriko hadn't made a large meal and everything was easily digestible, nothing heavy, yet it was still quite enough to be filling when he reached the end. During that time, Ryuichi was busy devouring his meal also; he had always been a big eater for breakfast and was probably even hungrier since he had been awoken much earlier than normal with the phone calls. Noriko used the time to clean up the mess she had made in his kitchen. As she lifted the cutting board Tohma noticed her frowning at the large knife still embedded in it and stifled a sigh. He knew it.

As soon as his bowl was empty, it and Ryuichi's were whisked out of sight and Noriko shooed him away. "Go and have a shower right now," she instructed in a tone that brooked no argument. "You'll feel a little more human after that." She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "You're still in the clothes you had on yesterday and they stink of smoke!"

Tohma walked towards the bathroom, sniffing slightly. Ah, yes, he hadn't even noticed it anymore. Back at the station, that man, he had smoked so, of course, his clothes would smell of it. He dropped the dirty clothes in the laundry basket there and stepped in under the hot stream of water, lifting his head to let it sluice over his face, feeling the water run through his hair and then down his back. It really did feel good as he relaxed even more, tense muscles gradually unraveling.

A loud shout went up on the other side of the door, somewhat muffled so he couldn't make out any words but obviously it came from Noriko - which meant that Ryu had done something to annoy her. A smile touched his lips at the thought of those two. He couldn't ask for better friends in all the world. They were always there for him, just like now.

He almost hadn't opened the door when he first heard the knock. He had only just arrived home himself. The walk from the cab to the lift had been tiring, and it had been all he could do to stay awake on the way up. It had taken him three goes to unlock his door, before he could make the key slide into the hole. Thank goodness the door had a self locking mechanism so when he had rushed out earlier it had sealed behind him, otherwise it would have been left open all this time. That would have really topped the day off – to come home to find his place burgled.

Not that that really stopped the police though. As he stood in the middle of his small lounge room he could tell that someone else had been here. It wouldn't have taken them much to get in – a good locksmith could bypass the simple lock on the door without any difficulty, even if it was against procedure for them to do so. They probably thought that he wouldn't have noticed. They could deny it all they liked, but Tohma knew they had been here.

Tiny little changes screamed loudly at him, pointing out every place they had been, everything they had touched. He was so glad now that he had taken the time to get rid of everything immediately after the incident, including the tiny note that Eiri had left on the fridge. Fortunately, there had been no blood on Eiri that wasn't his own. Tohma had cleaned down the places Eiri had been after returning but he hadn't had time to do much more. He still felt more than satisfied that they wouldn't have found anything here.

Still, as he had stood there in the living room, he had felt violated. This place had been his home; it had been Eiri's home. These past three years that they had spent together in this place had been wonderful, full of laughter and fun. He had really enjoyed the company of the young boy. Now, he looked around him seeing a place that felt like a stranger's, now this place no longer felt like his home. The events of the past twenty-four hours had forever changed that.

His eyes were drawn to the sofa, the one that Eiri had slept on - only he never would again. At that thought Tohma had felt his tired eyes burning, this time from unshed tears. Be safe, Eiri, he pleaded in his mind, oh, please be safe!

The sharp knock behind startled him, making him jump a little. He took a deep breath to try and calm his racing heart. His nerves really were frayed, he had no self control at all. Another knock, louder than the first. Perhaps they would go away if he ignored them – or perhaps not. He sighed wearily and turned. It was probably the police; they would most likely continue to badger him, even if that Jim Harris indicated that he was no longer considered a suspect he didn't know if he truly believed him. If he didn't answer they might just break in, or worse, think he had something to hide and so start digging all over again. No, he had better answer it, as much as he didn't want to.

He soaped himself down, even that act taking a tremendous effort of will; his arms felt leaden and even standing was beginning to tire him further. Thank goodness it had only been Noriko and Ryuichi on the other side of the door when he had opened it. He really couldn't have handled any body else in his current state. But with those two he didn't need to pretend, he could just be himself.

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a clean towel from the cupboard under the vanity, rubbing himself down. He snagged his yukata from the back of the door, more grateful for the habits that he had now than at any other time. As he walked silently back to the living area he could see Ryu and Noriko talking quietly on the sofa. Ryu was rubbing Norikos's feet as she nestled back against the other arm, hugging a cushion to her chest. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. Noriko just loved her feet massaged and she claimed that Ryu gave the best there was. Tohma was tempted to give him a try one day himself, just to find out.

Noriko looked up as he approached, Ryu dropping his head back to view Tohma upside down. Tohma blinked at him, wondering why didn't the rush of blood to his head hurt him in that position.

"You look much better," Noriko declared, removing her feet from Ryuichi's lap and standing, a smile on her face.

She grabbed his chin and turned it this way and that as though inspecting if he had cleaned behind his ears, just as his mother once had. He refrained from saying anything. He wasn't going to be able to change Noriko, she always wanted to mother everyone, although it could be a kind of 'tough love' sometimes. She would make a great mother for real one day, he thought.

"Good," she continued, taking his shoulders, turning him and steering him towards his bedroom. "Now go to bed."

"What about…" he began but was cut short, "Forget about it," she said firmly. "It's not like there isn't anything that can't wait."

"We were supposed to be working today," he reminded her though his feet still obeyed the direction she was pushing.

"So we'll start late," she replied.

They had reached the bedroom door now and she released his shoulders. He turned to face her, seeing her looking at him seriously. "Rest, Tohma, we'll talk later. And don't worry; one of us at least will be here the whole time. We're not leaving you alone."

"There's no need for that," he stated, not wishing to be a burden.

She sniffed at his response, "Of course there is! Look at the trouble you manage to get yourself into when neither of us are around to watch out for you!"

He felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Besides," a new voice said from down the hall and looking over Noriko's shoulder he could see Ryuichi leaning nonchalantly against the far wall, a smile on his face, his dark eyes bright, "They're not likely to try and get in here and give you grief with both of us here as witnesses also. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. So sleep easy, Tohma."

Toham felt a wave a pure relief. Ah, how he loved these two people. "Okay," he gave in to their sensible demands. "Don't let me sleep all day though. We really do have work that needs doing."

"Yeah, yeah," Noriko replied as she shut the door behind her with a cheery salute. "'Night!"

He pulled the curtains closed, blocking out the early morning sunlight, darkening the room. He wasn't one to usually be able to sleep in the daytime but right now he thought he could sleep through an earthquake and be none the wiser. He saw the light flashing on the answer phone by his bed, indicating that there were waiting messages. He hesitated a moment before pressing it and listening to the whirr as it rewound to the start of the tape. It went on for a long, long time; there must be quite a few messages on it.

The first couple were short, from various marketing bodies trying to drum up business. The third was a hang-up, those always irritated him. The fourth and fifth were from promotional and production personnel working on the next tour of Nittle Grasper. He quickly wrote the details down on the notepad by the phone just for this purpose. Few people had his home number but sometimes it was necessary.

The sixth call gave the time as being much later in the night. It was from Mika and his heart leapt at the sound of her voice. "Tohma," the message began. "I wanted to let you know that Eiri has arrived safely. We're taking care of it, so don't worry. Thank you for helping him and sending him back to us. Please call me soon so we can talk." There was a short pause, "I need to hear your voice. I miss you." The message ceased and Tohma had to wipe the tears that were blurring his vision away.

A seventh message began - Mika again, only this time far more agitated. "Tohma, I hope you're all right. They've been calling here asking about Eiri so I know that you're having to deal with them too. Please call me when you can. Don't do it straight away. I know you and you'll probably need your sleep. I expect a call tonight though – not a minute earlier!" A pause, then quietly. "Please call me. I…need to know you are okay." There were no new messages.

He reached out to pick up the phone to dial but then hesitated. Mika said to call her tonight, and she would be angry with him if he did call sooner. He smiled, even though she was this worried about him she was still trying to think of his well-being. She really was a wonderful woman. His eyes fell on his cell phone resting there also. With a small smile he picked it up and sent off a quick text message to her. He hadn't phoned her, just like she had told him not to, but she hadn't said anything about texting! The text message just said, 'All ok. Miss you.' He would say everything else that he wanted to say to her when he called later.

Laying down on the bed he looked at the ceiling, his mind thinking back over everything that had happened. Guilt gnawed at him, eating away at him inside. Why hadn't he kept a closer eye on Eiri, especially after he found out Kitazawa had been mixed up in all this sort of thing? He should have been more careful. Perhaps he should have told Eiri? The boy was sixteen, he wasn't a child anymore, but in some ways he still was. The admiration and idolization he had had for his tutor was still that of a young adolescent and Tohma had been loathe to be the one to shatter that child-like quality.

We all grow up too fast sometimes, he thought wearily, rolling onto his side. At least Eiri was back home now. Hopefully they would be able to help him, to try and fix the damage that he had been so careless in allowing to occur. He had been such a fool, so wrapped up in his own affairs. He should have been paying more attention.

He could hear the soft murmur of voices beyond his door; Noriko and Ryuichi talking, watching over him, protecting him. Thank you, my friends, was his last thought as his mind drifted towards slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** none

Author's Note: I know that it seems that Ryuichi is out of character here, but I'm following through a question that has always been in my mind which is, 'Has Ryuichi always been the way he was in 'Gravitation', or did something happen to make him like that?' So I'm just exploring this thought.  
Summary: Side story to 'The Key to My Heart'. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Kerryn Middleton, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Chapter 4

"Boy, am I glad that's over!" Noriko slumped over the table, pig-tailed head connecting with the wood with an audible thump.

Tohma looked on sympathetically, he too felt just as drained although he had managed to still remain seated upright. Dealing with the demands of putting their next tour together with the multitude of meetings with all the various groupings that they were forced to negotiate with, including the financial backers who were attempting to squeeze every drop of blood, not to mention money, out of Nittle Grasper, was like facing a horde of piranhas armed only with a plastic knife. Fortunately for them, Nittle Grasper was generally able to come out alive – though it was debatable at times whether it was in one piece.

Noriko shifted her head slightly so she could look across at him although her head still didn't leave the table top. "You must be exhausted also," she said in a tired voice. He was the main spokesman of the group as they had soon discovered that his ability to maintain a calm façade, no matter what was said, was the best way to combat the deliberate manipulations they were often faced with. With the inability to get any other reaction apart from a serene look and even words from him, the circling vultures would eventually fold before the silent onslaught and settlement could be attained, usually in their favour. However, maintaining that even-temperament tired him as well.

"Hah!"

Tohma turned his head to look over at Ryuichi where he sat, sprawled over two chairs pulled together, to see a feral grin was plastered over his face and a glint in his eye that didn't bode well for someone.

"I'm going to go see them out!" Ryuichi declared loudly, as his feet hit the floor with a loud slap and then, with a jaunty wave, he disappeared out the door leaving Tohma and Noriko just looking after him, listening to the sound of his running footsteps fade quickly.

"Do you really think you should let him go?" Noriko asked after a moment, still eyeing Tohma from her prone position.

Tohma could only dredge up the energy to raise an eyebrow at her question - to shrug would have required too much effort. "Do you think I could have stopped him?"

Noriko considered this for a moment. "Well, you probably could, if you really tried," she began.

"But when he gets like this it is far easier just to let him go." Tohma finished. "Besides, he can't do any harm."

"Only scare the pants off them!" Noriko grimaced. "One day that manic act he pulls is really going to get him in trouble!"

"Possibly," Tohma replied, "But you know it's not all an act. He's just a little more….highly strung than most people."

Noriko let out a deep sigh, managing to get her chin nestled on her crossed arms now. "I know. I swear he's got to have ADDH the way he sometimes bounces off the walls!"

"Goes with the genius," Tohma stated.

"Genius, shmenius!" Noriko snorted. "He's just a moron!"

Tohma smiled fondly at her. "But a talented moron - and you love him all the same."

She rolled her eyes and let out another long-suffering sigh. "Yeah, I do. He's the most charming, sweet guy I know – other than yourself," Tohma inclined his head in acceptance of the compliment. "But when he gets all stupid he really drives me nuts!"

"You know he does it deliberately," Tohma said with a smile.

"Yeah, I know!" Noriko complained, raking one hand through the hair falling over her face and dragging it back, "And I try not to re-act but he just knows exactly what buttons to push." Another sigh. "Sometimes I'm scared he's going to do something so stupid he'll put himself in danger, not to mention everyone else!"

"I wouldn't worry too much," Tohma replied, leaning back in his chair a little more. "He's far too clever to do that, no matter what frame of mind he's in."

"Hmph!" Noriko didn't sound convinced.

There was further silence between them for a moment, the ticking of the wall-mounted clock loud in the background.

"Do you think we should go rescue them?" Noriko finally asked, referring to their recently departed business associates.

"Oh, I don't think so," Tohma said quietly, making no move to shift from his position.

Noriko continued to eye him, also not having moved. "You're evil," she stated bluntly.

Tohma just let his smile deepen.

"Aw, I suppose you're right. It'd be too late anyway."

Further silence.

"We probably should go and help them, you know," Noriko made the effort to speak again.

"Yes, I suppose we really should," Tohma agreed this time, although definitely reluctantly.

More silence.

"I can't move," Noriko finally said. "I'm just too damn tired."

"Hmm," was Tohma's response. "We don't want to strain ourselves just before the tour. Best that we conserve our strength."

"Yeah, you're right. Best we just stay here."

Neither smiled nor commented on the mischievous glint mirrored in each others' eyes.

Tohma swirled the last of the orange juice around, watching it spiral up the sides, colouring the clear glass in his hand. He lifted his head and gazed over the crowd milling before him. It was quite a gathering tonight with more people attending than previously. This was something that he had noted over time. Each time they held one of these promotional parties to launch Nittle Grasper's next tour the numbers of attendees were increasing. That was a very good sign of their acceptance and standing now in both this industry and also in this country. He couldn't help but feel pride in their accomplishments for that. They had all worked hard to make Nittle Grasper what it was today and they were definitely the 'rising stars' in the pop world at present.

He looked over the crowd with a clear and discerning eye, carefully cataloguing everyone that he laid eyes on, even if he didn't know who they were. He was very observant naturally and had learnt to be able to 'read between the lines' you could say, taking note of body language, dress style, speech mannerisms, all the little things that could tell him so much more about a person than merely knowing their name and business. He made it a point of doing just this at all functions he attended, finding a secluded spot just as he had now to begin his classifications without interruptions.

He lifted his glass to his lips, taking a small sip. It was a little too warm in the room for his taste, a studied maneuver to ensure that the guests were always thirsty and liable to consume more drink. The cost of supplying said drink was not an issue. It was the results and possible benefits that might be obtained from that cost that was being counted.

There was no alcohol mixed in his drink, though he would never indicate that to anyone else. He never attended these functions without ensuring he remained clear-headed at all times, a close call from his first such party had convinced him of the importance of that. He had since secured more than one deal or tidbit of critical information at such soirees from other people who were not so shrewd. If the signature had been obtained, usually with witnesses, there was no recourse later for a plea of an inebriated state to save them. So although he didn't particular like these events, finding them lengthy, tiring and quite often boring most of the time, he did recognise them as a necessary evil. So if he had to dance with the devil, he would do the leading.

He swirled the drink around again in his glass, before taking the final swallow. It was time to make another round of the floor, he thought, stepping away from his private nook to mingle with the masses.

Firstly he made his way to the bar and discreetly topped up his juice once more, being certain that no-one was noticing that he was not adding anything alcoholic. The bar staff were all discreet and made no attempt to offer him anything additional, being too well aware of who he was and that he was also responsible for their salary to even think of supplying such information to other guests, so he knew he was perfectly safe on that front.

He left the bar to sidle into the edge of the crowd closest to him, full glass firmly in hand. He had soon come to release that if you approached anyone with an empty or no glass, you were immediately subjected to being forced to consume whatever beverage they foisted on you. He had learnt that the hard way right at the start, as people attempted to send the young new musician into his cups to see what they could get out of him, or just for laughs. To combat that, now he always made certain to carry a full glass of something, preferably a drink that was fairly nondescript that people could just assume did have an alcoholic content.

Of course, that meant he could pull the same trick if they had no drink and ply the other person with enough alcohol which frequently loosened the tongue. He was not averse to using such a deception with the aim to gaining some advantage if need be. It was a cut throat world, especially in this industry. It was eat or be eaten.

Slowly he worked the room with a now practiced ease, stopping only when he wished to, to speak with people who he felt he could glean something from or who were worth being seen with to further promote Nittle Grasper; bestowing a smile or nod to those he felt provided nothing of benefit to him at this stage.

It wasn't like he knew everyone here by any means, although most would recognize him as being one of the members of Nittle Grasper. He had some say in who to invite to such affairs and he was gratified to know that the majority of those on his 'critical list', those who were the 'must be's', had accepted and were present. That boded well for their standing in the industry. The rest of the guests were made up from general promotions put out by their marketing people. Some were the high-flyers of today's world, and not just from New York or even the USA. Some were from this industry, some from civil businesses, some even from the government or community groups. It was all advertising; purely and simply.

He had navigated his way through the mass and reached his original position once more, having passed Noriko and Ryuichi amongst the crowd. Noriko was surrounded by a bevy of male beauties, and some not so beautiful, usually dependent upon age. However, Tohma had seen Tetsuya Ukai hovering unnoticed on the fringe of the group, completely ignored by all those crowding around his pretty female bandmate. Once again Tetsuya had escorted Noriko to this event although no-one else, including the media, was making much of it.

They had met the older man when he had been over on a previous visit, finding them both as guests on a daily morning chat show broadcast on national TV. Tetsuya had been there as a guest judge for a cooking competition in New York, whilst Nittle Grasper was promoting their latest album. Tohma had found him quietly spoken and pleasant enough, although he seemed to have a very odd sense of humour at times. Ryuichi had just said he was weird - and coming from Ryu that statement spoke volumes.

Noriko, however, had taken a liking to him immediately and seemed to find him amusing and was completely at ease with the man. Tohma knew that since that initial meeting, they had frequently been in touch and Tetsuya had made more than one visit to the States to spend time with Noriko.

However no-one else seemed to even contemplate the idea that the vibrant young Noriko could ever be romantically involved with such an elderly, graying, staid professor as Tetsuya Ukai. Noriko had once said (when Tohma had tried to discreetly enquire as to her attentions) with a shrug, 'He needs someone to look after him,' and left it at that.

Perhaps that was it, he mused, watching Noriko throw back her head and laugh loudly. He saw Tetsuya's mouth stretch into a matching smile before it quickly disappeared again. Perhaps Noriko was happy to have someone she could mother. Goodness knows she tried to do so to both he and Ryuichi all the time.

He turned his head, taking his eyes from Noriko's bright countenance to search for a dark head flitting amongst the crowd. Ah, there he was, as he spotted Ryuichi with his own entourage. His other friend looked happy, almost ecstatic. Hmm, he might have to just go and see what Ryu was drinking. He didn't hold his alcohol well, only in the sense that he lost what few inhibitions he had, and Tohma had to constantly be prepared to run damage control if Ryuichi and alcohol were mixed too liberally. In those circumstances the guests were liable to be shaken, not stirred, by the resulting chaos.

He watched carefully then decided to leave it a little longer. Ryu didn't seem too far gone at the moment. As though hearing his thoughts he saw Ryu's head swivel in his direction. Their eyes locked and Ryu's smile broadened as he held up the glass clasped in his hand whilst his other formed the letter 'c'.

Ah, he's drinking cola at the moment. Tohma felt a surge of relief. Ryu also obviously didn't want to cause a scene that might disrupt the start of their tour. They had certainly had enough mixed publicity over the past few months, they really didn't need any more. So Ryuichi was for once playing safe, though that wasn't to say he hadn't been drinking alcohol earlier or perhaps wouldn't later. Still, at this point in time, Tohma didn't feel that he needed to worry.

"Do you always do an impersonation of a wall flower?" a voice said with humour.

Tohma turned to see who had approached unnoticed and felt a start of surprise, followed immediately by an irrational spurt of trepidation which he quelled.

"You probably don't remember…." the man continued, when Tohma interrupted him.

"Mr. Harris, I believe you said."

The man smiled broadly, "Well, well, you do remember! Does this mean that I made such a lasting impression on you? Was it my amazing good looks, or my witty conversation?"

"Neither," Tohma answered honestly in a completely neutral voice.

Jim Harris seemed to take no offense, just continued to smile. "Yet you still remembered me," he insisted.

"The circumstances under which we met were….exceptional enough to have provided a fairly lasting experience. At least for the moment."

"Ain't that the truth!"

Tohma looked the man up and down, his mind ticking over rapidly. Why was this man here? He hadn't been on the guest list, he was certain of that. At least not his list! And he hardly thought either Noriko or Ryuichi would have included him!

He hadn't spoken to Jim Harris since that dreadful night, now thankfully a few months in the past. He had seen him in the distance briefly during the inquest held over the deaths, but there had been no need for further contact between the two of them. The few follow-up queries that had been directed to him in the preceding weeks leading up to the inquest had been with other enforcement officers; Jim Harris hadn't put in another appearance again. He had thought it was finally all over, and he could now move on. He couldn't help but worry about this man's manifestation here tonight.

"So, Mr. Harris, what brings you out tonight?" he asked calmly, raising his glass to his lips to moisten his dry throat.

"Jim," The man said, moving to stand directly next to Tohma and leaning back against the wall, looking completely relaxed. "Call me Jim."

"Very well," Tohma accepted. "Jim,"

"That's better," He flashed a smile at Tohma. "Now at least we can pretend we're friends!"

"Hardly that." Tohma responded blandly.

Jim just chuckled. "Hey, stranger things have happened. You just never know!" He eyed Tohma, a smile still on his face yet his gaze now turned serious. "I see it all worked out the way that you predicted."

Tohma raised an eyebrow delicately, "And just what are you referring to?"

"The publicity. And how you would be able to make it work for you instead of against you." was Jim's steady reply.

There had been media attention after that incident. How could there not be? Not when it involved himself, a fairly well-known pop idol in a popular band, with the link to drugs. There were plenty of paparazzi who monitored the police scanners in the hope of picking up just such a juicy tidbit of information or those who had the right contacts, sometimes for a price, in the police stations themselves. The information had hit the newspapers that very morning, so even whilst he had been subjected to the intense all-night questioning, the news was already going to print.

Upon seeing it, they had all gone into major damage control. Noriko and Ryuichi maintained a consolidated front by his side for the press, and not just the press but also the police. He didn't know what he would have done without them during that time. They had helped keep in sane. As a team they managed to steer every intrusive press coverage to their advantage, playing on the fact of how terrible it had been for Tohma to be subjected to this scrutiny, that such a young man like Kitazawa had seen fit to throw his life away due to drugs, even managing to remind everyone that the real danger would have been to a young juvenile if he had still been around and it was only a happy coincidence that had placed Eiri far from harm. That angle had proved to be the turning point for them in the situation. Nittle Grasper actually became the 'poster people' for various anti-drug campaigns and they had attended more than one event in this time leading up to the start of their tour.

So, yes, it had worked in their favour. But the whole thing had left a very bad taste in Tohma's mouth and a slimy feeling over his skin when ever he thought about how they had played things. He didn't need any reminders of that time now.

"Just why are you here?" Tohma asked again.

Jim held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "Don't stress, I'm not here on business. This is purely personal."

"Personal?" Tohma wasn't believing that for a minute.

"Yeah. Remember I told you my fiancée's a big fan of yours? Well, when the Commissioner had a few invitations sent for this little event, my Chief managed to wheedle a couple my way." Jim grimaced then. "Don't think he didn't squeeze his pound of flesh out of me for them either! It's like making a deal with the devil, but better that than having to face Kerryn and tell her I didn't get them!"

"Kerryn?"

"Yup!" Jim's face was smiling broadly and his eyes fixed on someone in the crowd. "See that hot chick in the blue dress? That's my baby,"

Tohma followed his line of sight and identified the woman in question. He had to admit she was attractive but no more so than many other of the females attending that evening. She wasn't particularly tall, he would say she was even shorter than himself, with a full figure. If anything she appeared to lean a little towards the more 'curvaceous' side, although Tohma would probably have initially said 'cuddly'. Her blonde hair was simple and stylish, nothing extraordinary, and framed her elfin features, falling to just brush the tops of her shoulders.

He saw her glancing through the crowd and when her eyes alighted upon the man at his side, he could see her expression change. It was quite startling. She immediately went from being a mildly attractive woman to a stunningly beautiful one. The sparkle in her eyes and the radiance of her smile altered her countenance completely. He could see that change reflected on the faces around her also, making heads turn as she walked quickly towards them. Tohma snuck a quick glance towards Jim to see a smile as possessive and loving on his face, and obviously completely unabashed at displaying it.

'There you are!" she said with a laugh, reaching out to grasp Jim's extended hand. "Isn't this exciting?" She hadn't seemed to notice Tohma yet, only having eyes for Jim. "I've just been speaking with Noriko! She's so nice, nothing at all stuck up like you might think and she has very good English. I had no trouble understanding her."

"So you're having fun?" Jim said in a teasing tone.

"Oh, yes!" she answered enthusiastically, settling in comfortably by his side. "This is just so fantastic!" Suddenly she seemed to realize he wasn't entirely alone and looked over towards where Tohma still stood quietly, a quizzical expression on her face at first, which then changed to complete shock.

"Close your mouth, honey, before you catch a fly." Jim suggested, evidently enjoying his fiancée's surprise at his fellow partner.

The woman didn't take her eyes off Tohma, even whilst one sharp elbow connected solidly under Jim's ribs. Tohma heard his grunt at the impact.

"Is that…?" she said in a stage whisper.

Toham felt his lips twitch a little in amusement at her awestruck expression. Ah, what the heck. How could it hurt? He held a hand out to her. "A pleasure to meet you," he said softly, gracing her with one of his patented smooth smiles, one that he put on for all business purposes. "I'm Tohma Seguchi."

"Oh!" She hurriedly clasped his hand, shaking it firmly. "Kerryn Middleton," she provided.

"Soon to be Harris," Jim interjected as he put an arm around her shoulders.

"If you play your cards right!" she responded, sticking her tongue out at him before directing her attention back to Tohma. "I must thank you for the autograph. It was very kind of you."

Tohma wracked his brains for a moment before remembering the scrawled signature he had placed on the styrofoam cup when leaving the police station. "It was nothing," he said, trying to brush it off politely.

"No, it wasn't," she said a little sharply. "Jim shouldn't have asked you at that time; as much as it was very sweet of him to think of me, it wasn't appropriate. So I apologise for disturbing you with such a trivial matter at such a difficult moment."

Tohma felt himself warming to this woman; she seemed such a very open, caring and sincere person. He guessed she was probably only a few years older than himself, and was obviously prone to smiling a great deal judging from the laugh lines around her eyes and dimples in her cheeks. He could see why Jim was so smitten with her.

"I assure you that I was happy to have done so," he told her with more sincerity this time. "It is always a pleasure to meet some of our fans."

Kerryn screwed up her nose at that comment and rolled her eyes. "At my age, being told you're a 'fan' makes me sound like I'm some crazed teenager!" Her cheeks coloured slightly from embarrassment, "Though I will have to admit that I do get quite excited about your music." She threw a brief glance up at Jim, "He'll tell you that anyway!"

Jim just smirked. "She likes to sing in the shower," he supplied.

"Jim!" Kerryn all but screeched, swatting her fiancée with some force and blushing even brighter. "That is not a topic for discussion in public, let alone with HIM!"

Jim raised both arms in defense, covering his head to protect himself as he grinned over at Tohma. "She really does, but she hasn't got a bad voice so I don't mind!"

By this time Kerryn had given up thumping her unrepentant boyfriend and taken to trying to hide her fiery red face behind her hands. Jim took pity on her then. "Aw, come on, baby," he crooned, wrapping his arms about her and ignoring her efforts to shrug him away. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't help teasing you a little."

"Try and refrain yourself," she growled at him, eyes flashing and patently not yet forgiving him.

He ruffled her hair lightly, taking care not to mess it greatly and so incur more of her wrath. "Okay, I promise. But you really do get all wide-eyed and excited over them!"

Kerryn heaved a sigh and dropped her hands, looking over at Tohma with resignation. Her face was still flushed but it was gradually fading. "Well, there's no point denying any of it now, since he's blurted it all out anyway. See what I have to put up with." A rueful smile touched her lips. "I'm sorry you had to witness that little scene. Here was I hoping to present a mature, intelligent impression to you and all I end up doing is acting like a fool."

Tohma smiled back at her. "I don't think you're a fool by any means. Though your partner might be a different matter."

"Hey," Jim focused his attention over to Tohma and away from softly and discreetly nuzzling his girlfriend's ear. "Just what is that supposed to mean? You're supposed to be on my side!"

"By the way," Tohma continued, "Before you leave you will have to have Noriko and Ryuichi sign something for you also." He smiled at Kerryn. "You can't just have my autograph. We do come as a set, as Nittle Grasper!"

"I think we're all out of foam cups at this shindig," Jim said, managing to keep a straight face. "It'd be a little hard to sign these," as he held up his glass, "and I think the caterers might have something to say about it!"

"I'm sure we can find something more suitable," Tohma said looking around. Ah, that would be just perfect. "Come this way," he instructed them both and began to move through the crowd once more, avoiding the attempts for his attention, the others trailing behind him.

As he walked he caught first Noriko's eyes and then Ryuichi's a moment later, and with a nod of his head saw them both begin to make their way on corresponding paths through the crowd to finally intersect his. All three of them arrived at the same spot almost simultaneously.

"Wow!" Kerryn said, looking between them all. "Are you all psychic or something?"

Tohma smiled indulgingly as he reached up to carefully remove the pins fastening the promotional poster to the wall before him.

"Nope," Noriko spoke up. "That would just be downright freaky! We've just been together so long we can sort of know what each is thinking sometimes."

"That must be pretty handy sometimes," Jim put in.

"Sure it is," Noriko replied. "If someone contacts one of us to arrange something we can usually give the right answer or make the right decision, without having to consult each other just at that time. It's really helpful when we have urgent things to do. We always discuss it after, but there are very few times that we haven't made the right call. So no matter what, all three of us can help each other out if we have to."

"I see,"

Tohma caught the slight undercurrent in Jim's tone and cast a warning glance to Noriko. Neither she nor Ryuichi had met Jim Harris before in his capacity as a detective; Tohma hadn't really expanded upon his contact with the man at that time. Noriko saw his look and snapped her lips shut together tightly.

Jim chuckled, "You really must be psychic! Aw, don't sweat it,' he said easily, having also caught the look passing between them. "In as far as the law is concerned, the case is closed."

"And so it should be." Noriko said calmly,

"Yeah, I guess so." Jim said, calmly removing a cigarette from his jacket and lighting it. He smiled down at Noriko. "All those little loose ends seemed to tie up really nicely after all. It all made perfect sense to everyone else." He blew out a lungful of smoke, being polite enough to send it away from the people he was with. "Your movements were all accounted for and verified so I don't think there's anything for anyone to worry about now."

"We never were," she replied looking him evenly in the eye, refusing to back down.

By this time Tohma had the poster down and laid out on a nearby table. "I thought we could give Miss. Middleton a present from us all," he said to break the tension. He didn't know how much Noriko had picked up from Jim's speech but he was more than aware that most of that was more directed towards him than to her. This man still caused his internal warning bells to ring. He seemed far too sharp, and little too aware of other possibilities than the one that the rest of the police had seemed to accept. Although the case was considered closed now, as Jim had said, Tohma knew that he would still need to be careful. Cases could always be reopened and he had no intention of giving this man any cause to do so.

He withdrew a pen from his inside jacket pocket and scrawled his name under his picture, before handing it to Noriko who did the same. Ryuichi accepted the pen from her and looked over at Kerryn, who was holding onto Jim's arm.

"How would you like me to sign your dress/" Ryu asked. Tohma nearly chocked, hearing the deliberate mischief in his friend's voice and the under tone of steel. Obviously Ryuichi had picked up a little on what Jim had been implying and was deliberately trying to provoke him now. As Kerryn's dress was backless, it only left the front as a possible signing area, and as she was reasonably well endowed that took up a fair portion of the material.

Jim, too, recognised that immediately as he moved quickly to position himself partially in front of Kerryn, shielding her. "How about you keep your lecherous paws off her?" he growled, eyeing Ryuichi.

"How about you stop bugging Tohma?" Ryu said back in the same tone.

"How about both of you start acting like adults instead of five year olds in a sandpit?" Noriko said tartly, just as Kerryn slapped the back of Jim's head.

"Hey!" he yelped, spinning around to face her. "What was that for? I was trying to protect you!"

Kerryn tossed her head with a delicate sniff. "If I wanted protecting I'll tell you," she said sharply. "And besides," She sidled a little closer to Ryuichi, "What makes you think that I wouldn't want the great Ryuichi Sakuma to sign his name on me?" She fluttered her eyelashes at Ryu, with what could only be a seductive smile on her lips. Jim looked at her with a shocked expression whilst Ryuichi's was more appreciative.

Ryu was looking predatory, his dark eyes burning with an inner fire, his body emitting pheromones in enough quantities that Tohma felt even himself beginning to be affected. This was not looking good. He saw his friend's hands flex at his side and then slowly rise, making small grasping motions in the direction of the petite woman before him. Tohma saw Jim tense, obviously believing he was going to have to protect Kerryn's honour forcibly if Ryuichi became too fresh.

Then a small smile lit Ryu's face and with a laugh, he turned and instead scrawled his name over the poster next to him, just as Tohma and Noriko had done earlier.

"Way to go, girl" Noriko congratulated her, clapping. "Not many people figure out that most times Ryu's all bark and no bite. You know, typical male, no follow up!"

Kerryn giggled at that and the look she shared with Noriko was that of the consolidated front of women the world over. The men just universally sighed, knowing full well they were outnumbered and outclassed in this matter at least.

"Here you are," Tohma said, rolling up the poster carefully and handing it to Kerryn who took it with a sparkle in her eyes and a radiant smile.

"Oooh! I can't wait to show my girlfriends!" she said ecstatically. "They are going to be so jealous!"

"Are you going to see the show?" Noriko asked, cocking her head to one side.

Kerryn's face fell as she shook her head. "I couldn't get any tickets. They had sold out before I could get through." Jim gave her shoulders a solicitous squeeze at which she looked up at him gratefully.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" Ryuichi said, draping an arm around Tohma's shoulders and leaning in close to him. Kerryn's eyes widen as she looked on. Tohma knew that the two of them made a startling combination together; he with his short blond hair and fair skin, Ryuichi with his long dark hair and tanned complexion. So when they stood like this, side by side, cheek to cheek, he knew they looked damn good.

He felt Ryuichi's warm breath caress his skin. "Surely we could dig up a couple of spare tickets, don't you think?" he said in a low sultry voice. "Especially for such two….special friends," and the look he directed at Kerryn would have melted an iceberg.

The young woman wasn't immune to it either as her knees began to buckle and only Jim's steadying hand held her upright. He glared at Ryuichi who just smirked back. It was at times like this that Ryu reminded Tohma of a large Cheshire Cat, like from 'Alice in Wonderland'. There was always far too much going on behind those dark eyes to really know what he was thinking most times.

"We do always have a few tickets set aside for our own personal use if we wish to take advantage of them," he admitted, leaving it up to Ryuichi if he was truly intending to follow through with this.

Ryu tilted his head to one side, even as his hand crept up to tangle gently in Tohma's hair by the side of his face.

Kerryn's knees buckled again and Jim's frowned deepened. He tossed a glare towards Tohma. "Can't you throw a bucket of water on him?" he growled.

Tohma gave a small shrug and simply smiled, "I don't see any problem with it," he replied.

Jim just growled again, and what ever else he muttered was inaudible. Tohma thought he was just as glad he couldn't make it out. It didn't sound particularly complimentary.

Ryuichi then laughed and his seductive persona vanished so suddenly it was as though a switch had been flicked. "So," he said cheerfully, "want to give me your address so we can send some tickets out?"

"Our address?" Jim sounded like he thought Ryuichi had an ulterior motive in gaining that information. "I don't think so!" Kerryn pouted but it didn't appear to be making any impression this time as Jim continued to glare at Ryuichi.

"Gods, you men are just so pathetic!" Noriko exclaimed. "Why is it that when we get a few of you together you all turn Neanderthal!" She hunched her shoulders, dropping her head and sticking her chin out, letting her arms hang loose like her knuckles were dragging on something. "Me caveman," she said in a deep low voice, "Bash brains of other caveman. Me top dog!" She straightened her back and brushed back her hair. "Ugh! You idiots!" She seemed to feel that last statement just summed it up.

She turned to Kerryn, patently ignoring the men. "Since we'll probably never get the two of them to agree on anything remotely sensible, why don't you just wait here a moment and I'll go and get those tickets right now." She glared again at the men, including Tohma as though he were at fault for not thinking of this sooner and thus preventing the alpha male supremacy interplay. Tohma just shrugged silently, refusing to take responsibility for any of it. "Humph!" she sniffed and disappeared into the crowd.

"I hope I haven't upset you," Ryuichi said to Kerryn with a genuine smile.

She smiled, a little cautiously, back. "N…o," she replied slightly hesitantly. "But I don't quite know what you're thinking most of the time." she admitted.

"Don't worry," Tohma said reassuringly, "Neigter does anyone else."

Ryu slapped his back playfully as he laughed. "Don't believe a word he says! Tohma knows me better than anyone, and if there's one person I can't pull the wool over their eyes, it's him!"

"Now that I do believe," Jim put in, meeting Tohma's eyes. "You're definitely on top of things all the time. You don't leave anything to chance, do you?"

Are we back to that again? Tohma wondered. Was Jim still fishing for information? He was saved from having to answer by Noriko's return and she thrust an envelope towards Kerryn.

"Here you go," she said as the other woman took it and looked inside. "See, it wasn't that hard to do." Kerryn's eyes were alight with joy. "I hope you'll enjoy the show. It's the last one of the tour so I thought you might like to come back stage and join us for the after-party. I've put invitations in there for you to that as well."

"Really?" Kerryn seemed almost speechless. "Gosh! Thank you so much! This is just way more than I ever expected."

"Hey, it'll be good to see you again." Noriko said with a smile. "To be honest, we don't have a lot of 'friends' as such here in New York. It's more business associates, and we're generally so busy all the time that we just don't have time to make many friends. When we do have free time we usually go home anyway. So it will be nice to finally have a normal friend. At least I think so!" She cast a glance at Ryuichi and Tohma, defying them to contradict her.

They weren't that silly and both shrugged in unison. "It's fine by us," they agreed, knowing there was really no other choice for them.

"Then it's all settled!" Noriko said, clapping her hands together sharply. "We had better get back to the mingling thing, but we'll see you after the last show."

"You most certainly will! And thank you so much." Kerryn returned the quick hug bestowed by Noriko.

"Catch ya!" Noriko sent in parting, before she was swallowed up by the crowd.

"Time for me to do my bit too I think," Ryuichi said with a smirk. He grinned at Jim and said, "Don't wait up for me, honey," and whilst Jim was getting over his shock, Ryu leant in and landed a heavy smooch on Kerryn's smooth cheek which turned a fiery pink under his lips. Then with another loud laugh he disappeared into the gathering.

"Why that….!" Jim spluttered, and then he began to laugh. "That…that…" he couldn't' seem to find the words he wanted to say.

"Yes, Ryuichi is rather…unique," Tohma said serenely, feeling highly amused by his friend's antics. This night had turned out quite well after all.

"Well, I, too, had best join the rest of the guests before this evening draws to a close," He turned to Kerryn. "It was truly a pleasure to meet you and I look forward to seeing you again."

Kerryn smiled at him. "Thank you. For everything."

"Anytime,"

"Well, Tohma," Jim said cheerily, taking Kerryn's hand in his and beginning to move away. "We'll be seeing you!"

"It would appear so," Tohma said with mixed feelings.

Jim seemed to sense that for his smile just grew broader. "Didn't I say that stranger things have happened?" he said over his shoulder as he left.

Tohma looked after them until he could no longer spot them in the crowd. Yes, so it would appear. It would seem that he was fated to battle Jim Harris for a little while longer.

Still that was for another time. He composed his expression, wiping away any trace of worry or uncertainty, straightened his jacket, smoothed his hair and turned to mingle once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** some bad language and little sexuality

Author's Note: All the members of Nittle Grasper seem to be getting more involved in this now so I guess it's becoming a bit of a Nittle Grasper story as well, and after all what sort of troubles would they have been having during that time directly after the incident in New York with Eiri?

Summary: Side story to 'The Key to My Heart'. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Kerryn Middleton, they belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained Memories - Chapter 5

"Tohma, tell him!"

He stopped short, hand still on the handle as the force of Noriko's cry was almost enough to prevent him from taking a step any further. She was standing in the centre of their dressing room, hands on hips, clenched in fists, still dressed in stage clothes, with her hair in disarray. Ryuichi sat in a chair before her, feet propped up on the counter before him, frowning up at the woman towering over him. He had obviously come in on the end of a rather heated discussion between the two of them.

"And what is it I'm supposed to be telling him?" Tohma asked calmly, mopping the stray droplets of water dripping down his face with the towel around his neck. The door swung shut behind him as he continued on his aborted way into the room. He had just returned from taking a much welcome shower after the show had finished. It was always a relief to be able to strip off the sweaty clothes and wash away the streaked stage make-up. Noriko hadn't commandeered the shower first this time which was most unusual but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be the first to feel like a human again. He had stood under the water luxuriating in the steam and warmth, feeling the water wash away the itchiness of the drying sweat. It was so good to be clean again.

"He's got to go to the police!" Tohma's head snapped round to stare at his two friends, caught completely off-guard by her statement. Police? What was going on here!

"Noriko, what are you talking about?"

"Nothing!" Ryuichi growled from his seated position, glaring at Noriko and refusing to look at Tohma. "It's nothing for you to worry about!"

Noriko turned on him, reaching out a hand and swinging at him with enough force that Tohma could see that if she connected it wouldn't be any love pat. Ryuichi's arm came up quickly to intercept, capturing her wrist. They glared at each other, neither backing down. Tohma could see the muscles in Noriko's arm bulging, evidence of the force she was maintaining in trying to finish her swipe, and Ryuichi's knuckles were whitening, showing clearly the effort he was making to prevent her.

Tohma couldn't speak or act for a moment, completely frozen in place by the tableau playing out before him. The times that any of the three of them had lost their tempers with one another could be counted on one hand in their time together. That one of them would physically try to hurt the other – that was unheard of.

Finally the full impact of what was going on between two of the people he loved most in this world hit him fully and propelled him into action. He stepped forward and laid a hand over the point of joining between Noriko and Ryuichi.

"That is enough," he said quietly, leaving his hand there. Neither acknowledged him, making no move to show they were even aware of his presence.

"Enough!" he barked at them sharply and this time they released their grip quickly in response to his command. He rarely ever raised his voice to anyone and certainly not to either of them. That he did now was enough to penetrate their intense focus on each other and break the impasse.

Tohma looked first at Noriko and then at Ryuichi who still continued to glare at each other. However, he could now see the added brightness in Noriko's eyes, past the anger, that denoted a deep-seated worry which was directed at Ryuichi. No, not at Ryuichi - for him. What was going on, he wondered.

"Very well," he said, remaining where he was as a buffer zone between the two combatants. "Who is going to tell me what is going on?"

"I told you," Ryuichi said, turning his head away, "It's nothing."

"Really?" Tohma replied, "Then why don't you look me in the eye and tell me that?"

Ryuichi refused to turn around, which was evidence enough that he was lying. He could never lie straight to Tohma's face, or to Noriko's, not when it really mattered. It was that level of trust that the three of them had for each other that they couldn't, and wouldn't, break.

Tohma turned then to Noriko. "Nori?" he questioned. Now however, for all that she had obviously been wanting to say something, now she seemed reluctant to do so. Evidently Ryuichi's reasons for wanting to keep what ever it was a secret warred inside her between her wanting to respect his wishes and her worry about whatever he was trying to hide.

"Nori, you've dragged me into this between you two. Now it's time you both," and he stressed the last word to include Ryuichi, "told me what is going on."

Noriko took a deep breath and chewed on her lip, one hand nervously pushing her sweat-dried hair from her forehead. "Ryu's been getting some," she paused, flicking a glance towards the person in question who was still steadfastly refusing to look at either of them and her mouth tightened in suppressed anger, "He's been getting threat letters."

Tohma blinked a couple of times as his mind tried to assimilate the information that her words were telling him but he just couldn't believe what he was hearing. "He's been getting…what?" He had to clarify this. Surely he had misheard!

Noriko straightened where she stood as though defying him to ignore what she was saying. "Ryuichi's been getting hate mail, threats."

Tohma was left in no doubt now about her sincerity and he now turned to his other friend. "Ryu?"

"What?" was the surly reply.

"Is this true?" Ryuichi was obviously trying to be difficult.

"It's no big deal!" was Ryu's noncommittal reply.

"So it is true." Ryu couldn't make himself deny it completely so he was trying to hedge around it. "Where is it?"

"What?"

Tohma didn't bother saying anything more, just simply held out his hand over Ryuichi's shoulder. Ryu still refused to turn around but looked up to met Tohma's eyes in the mirror before him. His face was set in a stubborn pout but Tohma was having none of that this time. Obviously his seriousness showed, for with a frown and a snort Ryuichi slapped a piece of paper into his open hand. Tohma drew it back to read the simple words pasted on the paper. It was short, and very to the point. It didn't seem too bad though. Tohma had been expecting much worse.

"We need to let someone know about this," Noriko insisted.

"I'm not sure the police will be particularly interested," Tohma replied evenly. He was sure that the police would just laugh this letter off as a prank or a hoax. One letter wasn't going to make them particularly concerned.

"But they're really freaky!" Noriko said plaintively.

Tohma paused in mid-turn. "They?" he repeated, "Just how many of these are there?" He was getting a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Show him, Ryu," Noriko now spoke directly to Ryuichi. "Please, Ryu, show Tohma. Please!" Noriko was pleading now, something Tohma had never seen her do.

Not even Ryuichi could refuse that plea, for with a sigh his head dropped and his shoulders slumped. "Okay," and he reached towards the sports bag kicked under the dressing table, drawing it out to sit it on his lap.

Tohma drew closer as did Noriko, the two of them huddled around the seated figure of Ryuichi as they watched him draw out a wad of papers that spilled from his fingers to flutter to the floor. He slapped them down on the bench and Tohma reached out to pick up the top most one, then reaching with his other hand for the second.

He scanned the pages, picking up the next, then the next and so on. The words were simple, the drawings crude, but the intent was more than clear, alternating between hero worship and idolization, to hatred and insanity. Their message was only too real and too easy to read for all their simplicity, which made them all the more frightening in one way.

Tohma felt his eyes beginning to glaze as his mind tried to catch up with what was unfolding before him, and no matter how many papers he picked up it seemed that the pile was getting no smaller.

"Why.." he began and then had to try again as his throat closed up, "Why didn't I know about this?" he asked quietly, not looking at either of the others.

"I didn't want to worry you." Ryuichi said, still not looking at him.

"Yet you told Noriko," he said, feeling hurt at his exclusion and not able to hide the touch of bitterness in his tone.

Ryuichi flinched, "She found out by accident. I had my hands covered in ice-cream one day and we were in the middle of opening mail so I told her to go ahead and open mine as well. One of them was in that. So I didn't actually tell her anything." He sounded a little defensive, trying to justify his silence.

"When did you find out?" Tohma's question was obviously directed to Noriko.

"Last tour."

That long, thought Tohma. The two of them had kept this from him for that long. "Is that when this started?" he asked calmly.

"Not really," Ryuichi confessed.

Tohma just raised an eyebrow at his evasiveness. "So when?" he asked, not letting him squirm away.

"Not long after we made it big over here." Ryuichi answered grudgingly.

Almost two years ago then, Tohma thought, calculating it out roughly. Ryuichi had known about it for about two years, Noriko for abut one. And he was only just finding out about it now.

"Hmm, I see," He let the papers in his hand slip through them and drift down to join the pile still resting there, before turning away and making his way to the modesty screen. He needed to dry himself off properly, he was feeling chilled all over.

"Tohma!" Noriko's cry stopped him in his path. "Aren't you going to do anything? Can't you do something to help?"

"Why would you require me to do anything? The two of you obviously don't think you need me?" and he slipped behind the screen, hiding himself from their view. He wiped his face down, ignoring the fact that the water being absorbed had a slightly salty tang. He pulled his clean clothes down and quickly dressed. There was still the after-tour party to go to and the guests of honour did have to attend.

"Tohma, please, we do need you! How could you think that we don't?"

He didn't try and reply to that. No, this time they were on their own. That is obviously what they wanted. He slipped away from the screen on the other side to head for the door.

"Tohma," Two arms wrapped tightly around him, imprisoning his arms in place by his sides and pinning him where he stood. "Tohma, please, I'm sorry," he heard Ryuichi whisper in his ear. He could feel the strength in the other's arms and knew that he could fight him off but they would both suffer for it, although he was quite confident that he would win but he didn't see much point to it. It wouldn't remove the hurt he was feeling.

So he remained where he stood, silent and still. Ryuichi dropped his chin onto Tohma's shoulder, not relaxing his grip. "I know you're angry, Tohma, and I'm truly sorry. I didn't want either you or Noriko to worry about it. I didn't think it was anything to be stressed about at the start."

"And now?" Tohma said quietly. There was silence.

"I don't know," Ryuichi admitted softly. "I still don't think it's anything more than a twisted fan. We've all run across those before and nothing's ever come of it. I just didn't want to drag either of you into any of this."

"So you ignored your friends. Aren't we good enough for you?"

"That's not it!" Ryuichi said passionately, releasing Tohma only enough to swing him round to face him and holding him tightly by the shoulders. "That's not it at all! I didn't want to think that anything would happen to either of you. I wanted to take care of this by myself!"

"You idiot!" Noriko all but screeched launching herself at Ryuichi, arms flailing as tear ran down her cheeks, forcing him to release his grip on Tohma to fend her blows off. "How dare you do this on your own! How dare you not tell us and let us help you? How dare you cut us off like we don't mean anything to you!"

She was crying in earnest now so her blows were no longer focused and Ryuichi had no trouble in pinning her arms and pulling her gently into his embrace so she could cry against his chest. He looked at Tohma over the top of her weeping head. "I'm sorry, Tohma. I'm sorry."

Tohma felt his own eyes filling with tears. He had felt so hurt that both of them had left him out. They had always done everything together, been everything to each other no matter if there were other people in their lives, what they shared was something very special. Or so he had thought. Now he wasn't so sure. He turned away again. He couldn't remain here. It hurt too much to think that he didn't mean as much to them as he had thought - or as he had believed.

"Tohma, you can't leave us!" Noriko called out, between sobs. "Don't leave us!"

"You kept all of this hidden from me," he said quietly, not turning. "You didn't want me to know any of this. You didn't think to talk to me about it, or try and discuss it with me at all. I don't know why you wanted to keep it a secret from me. I didn't think we had any between us."

"Of course we do," Noriko said, her voice stronger now and steadier. "We all do. We're not going to tell each other everything all the time. You know that as well as I do,"

"But we've always told each other the important things."

"That's right, usually we do, but again, not all the time. Sometimes we need time to ourselves to try and sort things out; but if we can't do it by ourselves we have always gone to each other, haven't we?"

"That's right, Tohma," Ryuichi said, and Tohma felt him draw closer to stand by his side. "We always come to each other when we have to."

"And we are always there to help each other, even if we don't know each other's secrets." Noriko said, standing by his other side. "It's because we trust each other. And we'll never abandon one another."

Tohma felt a tear escape and slide down his cheek.

"Tohma," Ryuichi said softly, laying a hand lightly on his shoulder and pressing against his side. "Tohma, I need your help. Don't leave me."

"Don't leave us," Noriko said just as softly and reaching up a long slender finger to wipe the tear away.

He lifted a shaking hand and buried his face in it as further tears slipped from his eyes. No, he couldn't leave them. He had been a fool to even think that he could pretend that he could. Two sets of arms wrapped around him and he snaked an arm around each waist, drawing them in closer.

He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath that shook a little. "I'm sorry also," he said quietly, squeezing them to convey the depths of his regret. "I've behaved abominably to you both. I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"It's okay," Noriko said, looking up at him with a small smile, tears in her eyes. "It's nice to see the great and almighty Tohma Seguchi fall flat on his face every now and then. That doesn't happen every day!"

He smiled crookedly at her in response. Ryuichi ruffled his hair, tucking some stray strands behind his ear, smiling himself. "And I'm sorry for acting like a jerk," he said. "I should have told you, told you both right from the start but I honestly did think that it would just go away. I never thought it would still be going on like this." He shrugged a little. "Then, the more time that passed the harder it became because I didn't know how to tell you."

"So what are we going to do?" Noriko asked turning practical again.

"Firstly," Tohma said, reaching up a hand with a clean handkerchief in it to gently wipe her tear streaked face, "You both are going to have showers and clean up because we have a party to go to."

"But…"

"No buts," he said firmly. "You have asked me to help, so leave it to me now. I'll think about it and we'll talk later." He pushed Noriko towards the door. "Go and get ready. There is nothing we can do at this time so let's leave it and address it later."

Noriko didn't look convinced and still hesitated. Tohma smiled at her. "Go. It will be all right, you'll see."

"Okay," she said, turning with reluctance. "You'll both be here when I get back?"

"Of course we will," Tohma assured her. "We're your escorts for the party; we could hardly leave you stranded!" She gave a quick nod and then left.

Tohma then turned to Ryuichi. "So what do you want to do?" he asked. Ryuichi looked at him, leaning back on the bench top, arms crossed over his bare chest. Tohma could see his skin raised in goosebumps and snagged a discarded jacket from where it had been thrown carelessly over the back of a chair and walked forward to flip it around the singer's shoulders. Ryu gave him a wordless smile of thanks.

"So?" Tohma repeated as he arranged the collar carefully around Ryu's neck and pulling it closer across his chest.

"What do you suggest?" Ryu queried, reaching up a hand to close it around one of his.

Tohma looked into his friend's eyes, feeling the warmth of that hand around his. "I think we might have to speak to the authorities." he said straight forwardly. "I don't have any experience in this sort of thing to know if it is something we should be worried about or not. They are the experts, not me."

Ryuichi grimaced. "I don't really want a lot of publicity or anything," he said. "That's why I didn't say anything to anyone."

"I'm sure we can do something to keep it quiet," Tohma assured him. "I have no intention of letting this leak to the press. That would only fuel the writers of such things and probably encourage numerous copy-cats."

"You're probably right," Ryuichi released his hand and Tohma leant back a little to sit on the arm rest looking at his friend seriously.

"Ryu, I think we do need to take this seriously, so let's make sure to be careful from now on, okay?"

"Sure," Ryu agreed. "We'd better talk to Nori as well. She'll get mad at us otherwise."

"Yes, she will. We all need to know what is gong on with this. None of us can be left in the dark about it."

"I really am sorry about that, Tohma," Ryuichi apologized again. "I never meant to hurt you."

Tohma smiled weakly back at him. "I know, but please, don't ever shut me out again will you?"

Ryu smiled back and reached out to gently pat Tohma's cheek. "I won't," he promised. "Never again."

"Thank you."

"I'd better go and get cleaned up."

"Hadn't you better wait for Noriko to return?"

Ryuichi grinned at Tohma in a lascivious manner. "It'll be so much more fun to surprise her!"

"In the shower?" Tohma just raised an eyebrow at his friend's audacity.

Ryuichi smirked as he stepped out the door. "It will be a surprise!"

Tohma chuckled. "Well, don't be shocked at the reception you receive," he warned, "And I'm not patching up any broken bones!"

"No fear of that!" Ryu said with a laugh. "I can dodge faster than she can throw!"

"Be it on your head then." Tohma muttered under his breathe.

He waited for about five minutes and then winced at the loud scream that reverberated down the corridor beyond the door. Ryuichi had obviously surprised Noriko.

He felt like his face would crack. He didn't want to be here, amongst the bright lights, smiles and laughter. In fact, this party was the last place he wanted to be right now.

He continued on his way, moving quickly without seeming to hurry, passing people in a manner that prevented them from halting his progress yet didn't make them feel that he was giving them the brush off. He had learnt to develop this technique a while ago, yet rarely used it. Generally he was quite happy to stop at various times to see what he could glean from the less wary of the participants, though this particular gathering was more for people to just have a good time and wind down than one he could use as a fact finding mission. Still, even at these events he could generally find out one juicy tidbit of news.

However, tonight he wasn't trying to. All he wanted was to ensure that his presence was noted so there was no tongues wagging at his absence, and wishing that it was all over with.

The false smile he wore obviously fooled everyone, except of course, Noriko and Ryuichi. He had passed by closely to both of them at various times during the evening, and in passing, bare hands had unobtrusively brushed against his, fingers winding around his and squeezing gently before releasing as they continued on their separate ways. No words were said, none were needed but this constant reaffirmation of their friendship was comforting to him and helped ease the ache he had experienced earlier. He still felt a small tendril of insecurity, a feeling he was not accustomed to having but it was slowly fading in the face of this continuous contact.

He picked up a glass from the tray that seemed to magically appear before him, before being whisked away. The caterers were very efficient and well versed in serving such functions as this. They moved with a graceful skill through the crowd, never bumping anyone, no drink spilling, no hors-d'oeuvre sliding off a plate to smear a guest. They were quite a wonder to watch actually.

He felt a presence at his side and turned to see Noriko there. She smiled at him, not saying a word but her fingers threaded between his, holding him tightly.

"Where's Ukai?" he asked.

She scanned the people around her and nodded her head, with a smile. "Over there."

Sure enough, Tetsuya Ukai stood unobtrusively by a pillar, glass in hand, looking completely out of place. Tohma often wondered if the man actually enjoyed these events or only attended to please Noriko. He glanced back at his friend to see her lift her other hand and wiggle her fingers in a small wave in Tetsuya's direction, noticing the return gesture, which looked very odd coming from a man twice Noriko's age.

Tohma continued to watch the woman by his side. There was something different about her tonight; and not just due to the…unpleasantness of earlier. Now she was no longer worrying about Ryuichi, there seemed to be a …glow about her. What could it be, he wondered, trying to see if there was anything physical about her to explain the change.

"Ah, Nori," he began.

"Hmm?" she murmured absently, dragging her attention away from Ukai and turning to look up at him. Yes, she definitely looked different. She looked …satisfied? "Yes?"

"Noriko, has something happened?" he finally asked outright.

Her eyes widened a little before she attempted to school her expression to calm once more. "What do you mean?" she said a little too hurriedly that only lead him to believe that something was definitely going on.

"Nori," he said indicating to her that he wasn't about to be put off. "Didn't we just say we weren't going to keep important secrets from each other? What's happened? You're looking so…happy."

"Am I?" Surprisingly she flushed, which surprised him. Noriko wasn't one to blush over just anything. He was becoming more and more intrigued. "It's nothing really."

"That's what Ryuichi tried to say," he said flatly.

"Oh," she said with a small frown. "Yes, I guess he did." She swung her head round to look at him. "But it's nothing bad like that. Honestly."

"If it's nothing bad, why can't you tell me?" he wanted to know, that feeling of insecurity beginning to build again.

She sighed. "Okay, I was going to tell you and Ryu later but I guess I may as well tell you now. Tetsuya has asked me to marry him."

Tohma remained staring at her, not even blinking as her words crashed over him. Noriko….Ukai….married? Noriko….a bride. Now that he could picture. Noriko….a wife? That one he was having trouble with!

"Ah, Tohma?" Noriko's voice broke through his contemplations and he focused back on the present. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Uhmm, congratulations?"

She frowned at him and squeezed his captured hand hard enough to grind the bones in her frustration. "You could at least pretend to be pleased for me!" she said sharply with a toss of her head. "Try putting a little enthusiasm in it!"

"Ah, sorry, Nori," He tried to apologise. "I was just …surprised, that's all."

She glared back at him. "That's why I was going to wait to tell the two of you but, no, you had to know right this minute!" She turned her head away but he could hear her soft words. "I know you don't like Tetsuya much, but could you try and be just a little happy for me?"

She sounded so lost that his heart broke and he pulled her back again his chest, slipping an arm around her waist to hold her. "I am happy for you, Nori, if it is what makes you happy." He placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "It's not that I don't like Ukai, I just want to know that this is really what you want."

Noriko looked up at him seriously. "It is, Tohma. He makes me happy, truly he does."

"And the age difference doesn't bother you?" He felt he had to ask, however indelicately it seemed.

Noriko smiled at him and patted his cheek gently. "No, it doesn't. Satisfied?"

He shrugged. "It's not up to me, is it?"

Noriko tilted her head to one side with a smile. "Actually, no, it's not. But I did think of asking you and Ryuichi to be my bridesmaids."

Tohma blinked away the disturbing mental image of Ryuichi in a frilly dress, and completely ignored the mirrored image of himself in a like style. "That would probably be considered a little….odd." he finally managed to say. They had obviously been spending far too much time in America.

"Oh, not really," Noriko said breezily. "Apparently it is done quite regularly now days; guys are bridesmaids, girls are groomsmen. I don't see a problem. You know I would pick a colour to suit both you and Ryu."

"That is not the issue," Tohma said firmly. There was no way he was getting into a dress. He might dress flamboyantly and Ryuichi might dress seductively – but dresses were definitely out!

Noriko stuck her tongue out at him, though she was still smiling. "You're no fun!" she said with a small laugh.

He smiled back at her, releasing his hold around her waist. "Well, I had better be careful how I behave around you now," he said. "I don't want a jealous husband knocking on my door sometime."

Noriko just laughed louder. "Jealous? Tetsuya? You've got to be kidding!"

"Don't under estimate your appeal," he told his feminine band-mate. "And don't under estimate a husband's protectiveness. I'm sure you'll be surprised just how passionate he'll become once you are married."

"Maybe," Noriko said with a small shrug and a small pleased smile, "But he knows I can look after myself."

"That he probably does," Tohma agreed.

"But you and Ryuichi will help me with the wedding, won't you?"

"Of course we will. Did you really need to ask?" he replied.

Her smile was touched with relief. "Thank you. I'm really excited, Tohma," and indeed her eyes were sparkling brightly. "This is just what I wanted."

"I'm pleased for you," he said with complete sincerity, his own happiness building in response to hers. It was truly wonderful to see Noriko looking so vibrant and full of life.

She turned to take a few steps away from him when she stopped once more and Tohma followed her gaze through the crowd to see a couple making their way towards them.

Now it was time for the other shoe to drop, he couldn't help but think as he watched Jim Harris and his fiancée, Kerryn Middleton, draw closer.

"Well, well, well," Jim greeted them heartily, holding out a hand towards Tohma, as Kerryn and Noriko greeted each other with a hug and kiss. "I have to admit that you really know how to rock a stadium."

Tohma nodded his acceptance of the praise. "That is our job," he said. "And that's what the people pay for."

"Yeah, well, the only thing I can say is that it's taken me the past nearly two hours for the ringing in my ears to disappear!"

"The noise levels are within acceptable occupational health requirements as per the legislation in this State."

"Which is a fancy way of saying that you have it as loud as you possibly can and get away with it."

"Something like that." Tohma acknowledged.

"Are you two boys going to play nice?" Noriko interrupted them. They both looked over to her in surprise. She just frowned back. "Kerryn and I are going to mingle a little so both of you try to behave yourselves. We don't want to be interrupted and have to come over here to separate a catfight."

"Only women have cat fights. Guys have brawls." Jim said lazily.

"Whatever," Noriko said with a flick of her hair. "Just don't do anything you shouldn't." she waned.

"But that takes all the fun out of life," a seductive voice said and Ryuichi suddenly sidled from behind Noriko to stand on the other side of Kerryn. He bestowed one of his one hundred watt smiles on her and she flushed brightly. Both Jim and Tohma saw the shiver that she couldn't control at the intensity of Ryuichi's look.

"Ryuichi," Tohma said warningly.

Ryu flicked a glance at him but his expression didn't change.

"Ryu," he repeated.

He saw his friend roll his eyes and then his smile altered so the extreme charisma was almost completely dampened and his countenance took on a more normal appearance. "It's good to see you again," he said in a fairly normal tone to Kerryn.

"Ah…thank you. You too," she managed to get out without stuttering. 'You were really….exceptional tonight."

Ryuichi laughed at her expression.

"Don't you mean slutty!" Noriko put in sharply, glaring at first Ryuichi and then Tohma. "Just what did the two of you think you were doing up there, getting it on like that! Honestly," she snorted indelicately, "You're lucky you weren't arrested for that behaviour!"

"They wouldn't have dared," Ryuichi said, still smiling.

"If we had," Jim put in dryly, "We would have had a riot on our hands."

Jim was probably right, Tohma thought. When Ryuichi had sidled up to him during one of their last songs it was nothing unusual. However, he had seen the almost fey light in his friend's eyes and it had seemed to trigger something similar deep inside himself, so he knew that things were going to be different this time.

Ryuichi had been at his peak, despite this being the last concert of a very grueling tour. He showed no signs of flagging or of exhaustion, instead he seemed to be burning even brighter. He literally seemed to feed on the emotions and energy their fans gave them; the more there was, the brighter he shone as though he was some kind of solar battery storing up energy from the sun. This had been an excellent tour, with audiences that had responded intensely to all that Nittle Grasper did, so that by the end of this tour Ryuichi absolutely sparkled.

It was hot under the blazing stage lights. Tohma had felt the sweat beading his brow, sliding down his back, his open gauzy shirt not quite sticking to his slick skin but sliding across it sensually. Ryuichi had foregone his shirt completely by this time, wearing nothing more than low slung leather pants and a choker. His bare chest gleamed from his exertions, the lights flickering across the sheen of moisture and making the singer literally gleam. The singer wasn't particularly muscular but he was slim and lean and there was no fat over the firm muscles. Every motion he made showed every movement of those muscles, especially across the rippling abdomen. The fans just loved it - and Ryuichi was playing up to it.

When playing on stage, when being up there just the three of them in their own separate world no matter how much they were sharing with the crowd, it was easy to get caught up in the moment. They all poured everything they had into their performances, every part of their essences spilled into their music which they wove with a passion bordering on obsession. The music, overlaid with those emotions, would wrap around them, pulling at their minds and senses.

So when Ryuichi suddenly stood by his side, the bare skin of his stomach brushing against Tohma's bare arm as his played it had felt like an electric shock, sparks shooting between them, threatening to engulf them in figurative flames. He had continued to play as Ryuichi had turned and pressed in close against his back, hands circling around his waist, crawling higher, slipping under his loose, half open shirt, caressing bare skin. He had felt himself gasp at the first contact, a pool of desire building in his groin immediately as Ryu's hands slid lightly over his already erect nipples.

His head had fallen back then to rest on the other's shoulder, dark head nestled in close against his blond one, even whilst his hands still played on autonomously. He felt Ryu's lips nuzzle in against his neck, hot even against his already heated flesh. He felt the absence of material across his chest and realized that his friend had divested his attire of its last few buttons so the shirt now hung completely open, baring his body to the crowd whose voice had risen to a screaming frenzy.

He had opened his eyes to find himself staring into Ryuichi's dark ones, seeing the desire and excitement burning brightly in their depths. He was certain such a light could be seen in his at this moment also. He wasn't thinking of anything beyond the man behind him, the body pressed against his, the erection pushed hard against his buttocks, and his own straining the front of his tight trousers. If the right signal was given he would have thrown them both to the floor and either fucked Ryuichi or allowed himself to be fucked, he didn't know which, nor did he care. There was only the passion, the heat and the music.

The music played on, encompassing them in its embrace just as they encompassed each other, bodies sliding against each other, hands touching, stroking, tweaking, legs pressed between each others as pelvises ground harder creating ecstatic friction that drove them to greater heights.

The last chords were struck just as he reached climax, feeling like his body was going to burst, and feeling the thrust from behind that signaled Ryuichi had also passed the point of no return. He almost slumped forward over his now silent keyboards as Noriko held that final chord to allow the music to drown out their heavy panting.

Then Ryuichi gave a final unseen caress and stepped away, bounding over to centre stage and calling out to the loudly screaming audience, asking them if they had enjoyed that. The increase in volume was deafening, making the floor vibrate under his feet as the crowd showed their appreciation. They would be able to play up the belief that it was all just simulated and no-one would be any the wiser. What they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

"Besides," Ryuichi's voice dragged Tohma from that memory as he continued to speak, "the fans loved it. Didn't you?"

Kerryn blushed harder at Ryuichi's direct question and she took a deep calming breath. "It certainly was a….highlight." she managed to say. Jim rolled his eyes and one corner of his mouth twitched, whether in amusement or distaste it was a little hard to say.

"Well, you two had better be careful next time," Noriko said firmly, waggling a finger at Ryuichi who grasped it and brought it to his lips to drop a light kiss to the tip. Noriko snatched her hand back and scowled at him, though Tohma could see there was no real animosity there. "Don't you try and sweet talk me, Ryuichi Sakuma!" she said tartly. "You behave yourself from now on!"

"Yes, mama," Ryuichi said, trying to appear meek and failing miserably. He always managed to look more like a satanic cherub, or a demented angel.

"Come on, Kerryn," Noriko turned her back on them all, giving them up as a lost cause. "I'll introduce you to my fiancée."

"You're engaged?" Kerryn all but squealed with excitement.

Noriko's smile grew broader and held a hint of shyness as well. "Just recently," she admitted.

"Oh, that's just wonderful!" Kerryn grabbed her in a hug and there was no doubting the warmth of her tone.

Noriko returned the hug with relish, obviously happy to have the understanding of another female as to the importance of this event. "Come on then and I'll tell you about it."

"Hey!" Ryuichi said, latching onto the other side of Noriko, "You never told me this! How come you're telling a stranger before me?" He sounded quite mournful.

"Because you can't keep a single thought straight in your head for more than five minutes, so I was going to wait until there was nothing else around to distract you!" Noriko replied, walking away.

"Aw, Nori, don't be mean!" Ryuichi almost wailed, trailing after the two girls.

Tohma watched them go with a smile.

"So is it true?" Jim said.

"What?" Tohma asked turning to look at him.

"That she's getting married?"

"So it would seem."

"So you knew?"

"Yes," Tohma wasn't going to enlighten him that he had only just found out himself.

"What's that going to do to the band?"

"That is something we have yet to discuss fully."

"Hmm, it would be a pity to break things up now, just when you seem to be doing so well. You've certainly been making your mark over here lately."

"That's what we were aiming to do."

"You take this pretty seriously, don't you?" Jim said, leaning back and lighting a cigarette. He offered one to Tohma who declined.

"It's our job," Tohma answered.

"Well, yeah, I suppose," Jim exhaled slowly. "I guess I just never really gave it much thought before. I mean all these bands and singers; it seems like something they just do, you know for kicks or something. I've never really thought about the amount of work that might be needed to do it. Or of how serious they might have to be about it to make it to the top."

"There's always a lot more beyond what the public sees." Tohma responded.

"Hmm, so there seems to be."

"Isn't that a bit like your own job?" Tohma queried. "The public only see the reports in the newspapers, but there must be a great deal more that happens beyond that."

"Yeah, there is," Jim exhaled again. "The public sees and hears about nothing more than a drop of what really goes on. There's a lot more to the investigation than just getting the culprit."

Tohma suddenly had a thought, but held it back for a moment to assess it carefully. Should he do this, he wondered. The opportunity was here and not likely to come again, but this would mean continuing to have this man close by for sometime to come and that made Tohma uneasy. Though perhaps this new matter would distract Jim from his thoughts about that incident? He wasn't sure that he was willing to trust that assumption. Jim Harris seemed far too intelligent to be so easily side-tracked.

But for Ryuichi's sake, he couldn't just let things stand. He had promised both Ryu and Noriko that he would take care of things. And Tohma Seguichi never broke a promise.

He pushed away from the wall that he was leaning against and motioned Jim to follow him as they made their way to a quieter corner of the room, each snagging a glass from a tray that floated by. When they reached the location Tohma had been heading for, he glanced around to ensure that they were not likely to be overheard and then turned to face Jim.

"I have a favour to ask," he said, seeing Jim's eyebrows rise in surprise. "I need your help."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** none really

Author's Note: I'm going to play with Nittle Grasper a bit now, trying to draw on a lot of different things that are mentioned in the manga but we don't necessarily get a lot of back ground information about. So I'll just twist it to suit my universe of Gravitation!

Summary:. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together - and introducing Kumagoro. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained Memories Chapter 6

Jim laid out the last of the pieces of papers and stared at the sheets of multicoloured portions before him. At first glance they all looked different; different sizes, different types of paper, different colours, different text. Looking at this rainbow there seemed nothing similar with any of it.

"So, what do you think?" he said, looking across the table to the person beyond and waiting for the answer.

When Tohma had first approached him at the party he had mentally shrugged and figuratively rolled his eyes at the paranoia of celebrities. He had been a little surprised when he had seen the sports bag almost filled to capacity, as he expected to be presented with only one or two, but this only made him slightly reassess his original viewpoint. After all, being a popular pop band as Nittle Grasper had become would surely also attract the weird and not-so wonderful followers. So he had still been unconvinced as to the seriousness of the situation. Deep down he had still felt that Tohma was probably over-reacting to everything but he had made the appropriate noises and promised to look into things, tucking the bag under his arm when he left.

However, despite his personal opinion, he had called in a favour by contacting an old friend, Brian Turner. The two of them had actually attended college together, all those years ago, and it had been a surprise to both of them to find themselves in the police force and in precincts adjacent to each other before they were amalgamated. Brian had branched into forensics and Jim had managed to, perhaps not exactly fast-track, but at least steadily, climb the ladder towards his goal; that of joining the FBI. He was now awaiting the final selection process to move into that elite group and leave the beat of a standard detective behind him - but until that happened he wasn't going to rest on his laurels, nor would he let anything mar his clear work record.

"Hmm," The other man leant forward, resting both hands flat on the table, peering down. Jim remained silent, just letting the other continue his examination. Brian walked slowly around the table, occasionally reaching out to shift a paper slightly.

"Well?" Jim queried after the other had completely circumnavigated the table and returned to where he had started.

Brian reached up a hand to push the hair back from his forehead to clear it from his eyes and tucked a stray strand behind his ear; the rest was caught back in a pony tail that trailed down his back.

"Well, you're right," he said, leaning forward once more and carefully picking up the sheet closest to him. "I would say these are all definitely by the same perpetrator."

"You sure?" Jim was still a little skeptical; he couldn't see any similarities between the multitude of pages before him. They had spent hours earlier this morning carefully sifting through the papers that had been stuffed into the bag Jim had brought in. The two of them had sorted every individual sheet into different piles in accordance to Brian's instructions although Jim had had no idea what the criteria was for each. When they had reached the end, the largest heap was carefully laid on to the table as it was now.

Brian smiled at him, "I'm the expert, remember? That's why you asked me about it."

Jim acknowledged this with a shrug as he reached out and picked up a scrap before him. "So do you think we're over reacting?"

"No," Brian looked up from what he was examining. "I think there could definitely be something more here."

"Like what?" Jim asked.

"Well," His friend picked up two sheets and turned both pieces around to face Jim. "What do you see?" he asked.

Jim gazed intently at the items then shook his head as he shrugged. "Writing?" he hazarded a guess.

Brian laughed. "That's why you need me!" he replied. He pointed to the letters and said, "Those that are handwritten are a little easier to work with, and even without checking in detail, I can see on these two that the letter 'e' is written in the same way so it's more than likely it is written by the same person."

"Really?" Jim leant forward peering at the pages, trying to see it the way Brian did. "I can't see it."

"You don't have the eye," Brian replied loftily. He frowned at the portions in his hands. "The author doesn't appear to have made any effort to try to disguise their handwriting on these."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Jim questioned.

Brian shrugged a little, "Usually. Hard to say just yet," He laid the pages back on the table in their original places, before stepping back with his hands on his hips, surveying all they had laid out. "Well, you've certainly given me something to work on here," He flashed a smile at Jim. "I haven't had something this good for ages!"

"Glad you're enjoying yourself." Jim responded dryly also returning a sheet to the table between them.

Brian just grinned in reply. "Give me a couple of days and I should have something more to give you." he promised.

"Sure, no rush," Jim said.

He stripped off his gloves and dropped them into a plastic bag to be checked later for any possible residue traces that may have transferred to them from the papers. They were both wearing gloves, careful in what they were touching and trying to limit the contact as much as possible.

Jim left Brian to his task, confident that it was in good hands, and made his way back to his own office a few floors up. He would need to fill out the appropriate paperwork to show that this operation was undertaken by direct request from the complainant; that being Tohma Seguchi. He would also need to have a quiet word to his Chief about trying to keep this one under-wraps as much as possible, on a 'need to know' basis only, or it was liable to turn into a three-ring circus with the media speculation. Tohma had been very specific about that – very specific. Jim knew he could trust Brian, but he wasn't too sure about some of the others who might try and get involved. After all, any case involving a high profile celebrity would be a real feather in the cap of an up-and-coming detective wanting to be noticed by the big-wigs upstairs. However, this wasn't a time for flashy announcements and front page details. This time the case called for quiet and discrete.

He sat down, pulling the forms to be completed towards him and began briskly filling in the details, frowning. So Tohma hadn't been over-reacting after all, he mused, the scratching of his pen filling the silence of the room. He had thought Tohma had seemed unusually subdued when he had been discussing things; now he realized that it had been due to worry.

He flipped the page over to begin on the second. Well, you shouldn't have been so cocky, he mocked himself. Just because Tohma Seguchi was younger than himself, and in a profession that just didn't seem like a real job to Jim, didn't make him stupid or have poor judgment.

He had a flashback to a number of months ago, looking through the one-way glass at the person sitting in the room beyond. He had watched the interrogation from start to finish and in all that time he had been unable to read a single contrary emotion on that calm face, and the even tone of voice had given nothing away. It had seemed like he had been watching a brilliant actor, someone able to make every word and look perfect to fit the part that was being played. It was flawless – and Jim hadn't known if it was the truth, or a lie.

Even now he didn't know. Tohma Seguchi was not someone who let others know what he was truly thinking unless he wished them to. Jim couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone who did really know that man. Perhaps his two friends, his other band members, but just how far would they go for him?

Jim raised his pen to his lips and chewed absently on the end for a moment as he gazed unblinking into the distance. Did Noriko and Ryuichi know what happened that night, he wondered. Had Tohma told them? Had they perhaps been involved even? He continued to chew. He knew it wasn't as simple as the case had been made out to be. His gut instinct told him that and he trusted it completely. And he knew that it all hinged around Tohma Seguchi. That alone should have made him realize that this matter was more than what met the eye at first.

A bitter taste suddenly filled his mouth and he grimaced in distaste, removing the pen and wiping his lips with the back of his hand.

"Ah, geez!" he exclaimed as he stared at the blue smear over his skin. He could now see that he had succeeded in biting right through his pen to the ink-filled centre and the result was evident.

He tossed the damaged pen angrily into the bin and stormed out of the office to the bathroom. The ink taste was gross. He was going to have to have a very strong coffee afterwards to get rid of this after-taste.

"So what are we going to get Noriko?" Tohma wondered out loud as he and Ryuichi walked along the street lined with expensive stores.

They had headed out at lunchtime with the intent of finding a suitable engagement present to celebrate Noriko's engagement to Tetsuya Ukai. Tohma still felt a little bemused about the whole event. No mater how he tried he just couldn't picture those two together as a couple. He mentally shrugged. Well, they didn't need his permission or acceptance to their union and it just goes to prove the old adage, 'opposites attract'.

Despite Noriko's initial threat of having Tohma and Ryuichi as bridesmaids, she and Ukai had opted to go for a more traditional wedding after all. Noriko was bound to have looked beautiful either way, and Tohma was of the opinion that perhaps a traditional setting would show Ukai off in a better light than a more modern event.

Although the wedding was some time away, one thing that Noriko was excited about at present was the engagement and the gifts that were beginning to come in; a broad mix between traditional and very modern. The news had leaked out quickly in Japan and much ado was made of it, yet it had remained a non-event so far on this side of the ocean.

Tohma knew that wouldn't last for long but he also wasn't certain what to expect from the media here; not when it was a Japanese marrying a Japanese, and the ceremony would be held back home as well. Sometimes the media was very insular in what it reported; and if it wasn't occurring in their own back yard they didn't want to know about it. Anyway, they would no doubt find out soon enough what the response would be.

At this stage however, it was still all quiet, and it had been the perfect opportunity for he and Ryuichi to try and sneak away whilst Noriko was busy with well wishes and preparations, in an effort to try and find a fitting gift.

"What do you think?" he asked his friend.

Ryuichi was looking very casual today; his normal charismatic stage presence completely masked beneath baggy jeans, brown sweatshirt, baseball cap and dark glasses. There wasn't even a necklace or earring in sight. He had really made an effort to remain unnoticed for this excursion; a clear indication of just how important it was to him also, even though nothing he had said stated this. Tohma also had dressed down, and the two of them would be hard pressed to be recognized as the members of Nittle Grasper.

"It should be something nice, something Noriko can keep for a long time to remember us by,' Ryuichi replied. He looked at Tohma as they casually strolled along. "Something she can hand down to her daughter."

"Daughter?" Tohma raised an eyebrow in query. "She's not even pregnant yet." He peered harder at Ryuichi. "Is she?"

Ryu shook his head, "No, but she will be. She wants a family as soon as she can."

"Hmm," Ryuichi was probably right in that. Noriko would just love to have a child, someone she could lavish all her copious affection upon unstintingly. "She still might have a son though."

Ryuichi gave a little shrug. "I think she'll have a daughter," He sounded very certain.

Tohma let it slide. "Well, you have a 50 chance of being right," he said.

Ryu flashed him a wicked grin. "Unless you end up with both as one!"

Tohma nearly choked. "Do you mean a hermaphrodite! Ryu!" He was a little shocked. Sometimes his friend came out with the most bizarre things!

Ryuichi just chuckled. "Think about it," he said, linking arms with Tohma and pressing in tight against his side, still grinning wickedly. "Just think of the…..pleasure you could have on your own." His voice had dropped to a seductive tone, and his hot breath caressed Tohma's ear.

Tohma tried not to but was immediately assaulted by a very vivid and coloured vision in line with what Ryuichi was implying. He tried to shake it away but it stubbornly refused to fade quickly, as though deliberately trying to tantalize, tease and tempt. Sometimes it was a curse to have such a sharp mind as he did which acted so quickly to visualize everything said!

Ryuichi suddenly let out a laugh, breaking the mood, and abruptly disappeared into a mall they were just passing, leaving Tohma standing alone on the pavement. He wasn't particularly worried at the sudden departure, so just waited patiently for Ryuichi to reappear which wasn't long before he bounded back out through the doors he had entered, clutching a large plastic bag.

"What did you get?" Tohma asked curiously.

"This!" Ryu reached inside and pulled out a bright pink object.

Tohma blinked, trying to take in the item being waved before him. What was staring back at him with large unblinking eyes was a stuffed animal with long floppy ears. Tohma assumed it was supposed to be a rabbit, but if so it was the oddest looking bunny he had seen!

"Uhm, Ryuichi, I don't think that is really an appropriate engagement present."

"Aw, come on, Tohma. Don't you think he's cute?" Ryu said with a broad grin, bringing the toy up to bat it against Tohma's face lightly.

Tohma gently brushed it away. "Ryu…." he began.

"Oh, don't stress," Ryuichi said airily. "We'll get something proper as well. But everything's going to be so formal and stuffy; I thought we should get Nori something different as well. I'm sure she'd appreciate something a little more fun!"

Tohma looked at the pink thing clasped tightly in Ryuichi's arms. His friend had a point. Noriko did have a hearty sense of humour and probably would find it highly amusing. Then would promptly whack Ryu over the head with it afterwards. He smiled at the picture in his mind. That alone would be worth seeing.

"Come on then," he said indulgingly to his friend, indicating his acceptance of the proposition. Ryuichi stuffed the toy back in the bag and linked arms with him once more, laughing. Tohma smiled at him, unable to remain serious in the face of such unbridled joy. "We've still got to find something a little more appropriate."

Tohma looked and looked, and waited and waited, and all the while the feeling in the pit of his stomach grew; a feeling that he identified as not fear, it was far more intense than that. It was terror – pure terror. And with every passing moment it grew, raging inside his breast and ravishing his heart.

After a number of hours he had finally come to a decision then. Somehow, deep inside, he knew he wasn't going to find Ryuichi here. His friend was gone, vanished without a trace. He had looked everywhere, retracing their every step that day, backtracking to every point of call. Nothing.

He had checked with everyone he could think of, which was a considerable list, everyone who could possibly have been in contact with Ryuichi in any conceivable way to see if anyone had seen his friend. There had been no favourable responses. He had been able to disguise his increasing agitation from the callers, able to brush of his own query with plausible excuses, and he knew that it was completely convincing, but when he had hung up from the final call all he felt was numb. No-one had seen or heard from Ryuichi. He had even called Noriko, but had been forced to cut short the conversation after she had replied in the negative to any knowledge of Ryuichi's whereabouts for he knew that she would quickly pick up on his growing dismay and he hadn't wanted to worry her. No doubt he would get an earful from her later on when she did find out but just then wasn't the time.

He was now at a loss. He had walked the streets of New York, traveled to every place he could think of that Ryuichi might have been interested in going to or wanted to see, or liked, just anything! He had scoured shops, parks, attractions, businesses, he had walked until his feet hurt and talked until his voice was hoarse. Now, hours later, he had finally admitted defeat and returned to his dark apartment. His whole body ached – but not as much as his heart did.

He leant back against the wall not even bothering to turn on the lights, the thought of any illumination only serving to emphasise the dark despair that was wrapped around him. He didn't know what to do. He had exhausted all avenues - except one.

His hand was shaking as he pulled out his phone once more, staring down at the silent object. Should he? He didn't have any choice. He was out of options. It was time to face the demon.

He fumbled a little trying to draw his wallet out of his pocket, his usual calmness having completely deserted him. He flipped through the cards and notes contained within, finally clasping a small scrap of ragged paper tucked amongst the rest and pulling it out. He looked at it and then pushed the corresponding buttons, hearing the ringing in his ears, waiting. His anxiousness grew with every unanswered tone as hope plummeted once more. He had almost given up when finally he heard the click as the call was connected and a voice answered, "Hello?"

Tohma opened his mouth and found he couldn't speak, his words completely frozen in his throat. It seemed that his fear had stolen his voice.

"Hello?" the query came again, in a tone slightly sharper.

Tohma tried again, forcing a word out. He had to try and pull himself together. "Jim," he all but croaked out.

"Who is this?" Jim's voice sounded wary obviously not recognizing Tohma's.

"Tohma," he identified himself.

"Tohma?" Jim didn't sound like he believed it was really him, and his surprise was evident. "What's up with you?"

"Ryuichi…." He almost choked on the name feeling like the air around him was trying to suffocate him. "He's gone."

"Huh? What do you mean?" There was confusion now.

"He's gone. He was with me, and now he's gone." Tohma could come up with any other way to say it except the cold hard facts, each word cutting through him.

"Well, he can look after himself," Jim began, "I'm sure he'll be back soon."

Tohma shook his head although there was no way Jim could see him. "You don't understand," he rasped out. "He's gone. He's not anywhere. He's gone!"

There was silence for a moment. "You sure?" Jim was more serious now, and Tohma began to feel a small thread of relief as the man seemed to believe him. Jim wasn't stupid, he could make things happen.

"Yes," he replied a little more firmly, his normal certainty beginning to assert itself.

"Where are you?"

"My apartment," Tohma replied, letting himself sit slowly onto his sofa. He felt short of breath for some reason.

"Sit tight. I'll be there shortly." Jim said briskly and he hung up.

Tohma put the phone down on the coffee table before him before clasping his shaking hands together, squeezing them tightly. He was still having trouble breathing, his throat so tight even as simple a thing as an inhalation of oxygen strained it.

Ryuichi, where are you? He called out with every fibre of his being but there was no answer. Nothing. Only silence - a deathly, lengthy, foreboding silence.

He dropped his head into his hands, feeling the tears sliding between his fingers to drop to his knees as his shoulders shook.

Jim almost ran to his car as soon as he hung up, ignoring the startled looks from his colleagues at his abrupt departure. He was beginning to have a bad feeling about this.

When Tohma had said Ryuichi was missing he had been inclined to brush it off as just more of the erratic behaviour of the unpredictable singer. He had only met Ryuichi Sakuma a few times but each had left him completely bemused and torn between puzzlement, amazement and just wanting to down-right snot the jerk! If he had thought Tohma Seguchi was an enigma, compared to Ryuichi Sakuma he was a simpleton! Jim didn't have a clue what was going on in that nutcase's mind – and he was absolutely positive he didn't /want/ to know either!

But then he had heard the tone of Tohma's voice and his insistence that this was much more. He knew Tohma Seguchi was not one to loose his cool of anything. Jim had seen enough evidence of that. That he sounded close to a break down on the phone had set off alarm bells like air-raid sirens in Jim's head. He had followed more than one hunch in this lifetime himself to completely ignore Tohma's feelings on this matter, not when he had seen the evidence himself of how close the three band members were. If Tohma was worried, it probably meant there was something to worry about. It was just left to see how bad it really was. And that was the really scary part.

He had barely finished the first knock on the door when it swung open under his hand. He stood there for a moment looking on in shock at the being before him, almost unable to even comprehend what he was seeing. This was a sight that he couldn't ever have conceived seeing in this life. Tohma Seguchi looked like hell.

The blond hair was in complete disarray, the normally bright clear eyes were dull and red rimmed. Lines around his eyes showed up starkly on the more than pale skin, and there were lines marring the usually smooth brow. Clothes that usually were crisp and smart, and elegantly arranged to make a clear fashion statement no matter the circumstances, hung about his frame in disorder, rumpled and skewed and nothing like his normally dapper appearance at all.

"Please come in," Tohma said quietly, stepping to one side.

Jim managed to shake his shock aside and stepped over the threshold. Tohma closed the door softly behind him, walking past where Jim stood uncertainly. "Please sit down. Can I offer you a drink?"

"Ah, no, thanks," Jim sat as Tohma poured a stiff drink for himself, noticing the slight quiver of the hand and watched as Tohma tossed half of the drink down his throat in one gulp before turning to look at him. He didn't even try to put on a fake smile. Jim realized then that this no false alarm; before him stood a man in the depths of despair. He now realised that this was probably the first time he had ever seen a glimpse of the real Tohma Seguchi.

"So what happened?" Jim asked getting straight down to business. Tohma didn't look in any condition to drag this out and he had no intention in trying to make this any more painful than it already was for the other man.

Tohma slumped, he didn't sit, he actually slumped, into a chair opposite Jim, raking fingers through his usually immaculate hair and the way that it was standing on end was evidence enough that it wasn't the first time he had made this gesture.

"We were out shopping," Tohma said softly, both hands now clasped tightly around the glass held between his knees. "We weren't doing anything different to what we had done hundreds of times before. Then he was just…gone."

"Where were you?" Jim said, opening his notebook.

Tohma told him as Jim accurately wrote down the information. He had Tohma go over the entire day, step by step, carefully questioning everything, clarifying, checking. He was thankful that Tohma was a very observant person, someone who was very aware of his surroundings and remembered events in great clarity. He was also glad that Tohma was able to obviously put aside his extreme pain and fear to be able to answer all Jim's questions calmly and clearly and for however long it took.

Tohma had long finished the drink he had begun when Jim finally closed his notebook. The man before him looked completely wrung out, his eyes haunted. Jim had seen that look before, on too many faces over the years. That was the worse part of the job he believed. Seeing the anguish that the people involved in his cases went through. And too many times there were no 'happy' endings. He was desperately hoping that this one would prove to be the exception.

He stood to leave, there was nothing more he could do here. Tohma didn't even acknowledge his movement so withdrawn was he. Jim's heart went out to him.

He stepped over to where the other man sat and gently placed a hand on a shoulder, feeling Tohma start at the contact. "Try and get some rest," he said quietly. "Leave the rest to me."

Tohma said nothing as Jim walked to the door, but as he opened it, "Do you…?" Tohma began.

Jim didn't turn. "I don't know," he answered honestly, not wanting to give any false hope. "I'll be in touch."

He gently closed the door behind him, catching a glimpse of the still seated figure where he had left it and trying to not let it remind him of a small abandoned broken doll.

Jim went straight to the station and found Brian already waiting for him. He had called him on the cell phone as soon as he had walked away from Tohma's apartment and arranged to meet.

"What's up?" Brian asked upon seeing Jim, pushing away from the wall and stubbing out his cigarette.

"We've got a problem," Jim replied, leading him into the station and down to the lab.

"How come?"

"The recipient of those threats?" Jim said. "He's missing."

Brian paused in the act of slipping on his lab coat. "For real?" It wouldn't be the first time that someone had panicked over someone's absence and reported it, and yet the person concerned has turned up safe and sound a matter of hours later.

Jim nodded though. "I think this one's for real."

Brian pursed his lips. "Not good then," he replied, as they pushed through the next set of doors and into Brian's 'inner sanctum', as he liked to call it.

"What have you got?" Jim asked, pulling up a chair.

Brian sat and tapped quickly on a keyboard, pulling up some graphs and slides on multiple computer screens before him. "We've had the experts in and they were able to definitely identify the handwritten ones as being by the same person. They don't appear to be taking any particular care in trying to disguise their style, the differences are simply due to the different mediums like pens and paper, and also likely the type of surfaces that the pages may be resting on at the time of writing. The type-pasted ones are more difficult but there are some similarities in residues on the pages that indicate that they too could be by the same person also." He tapped one screen before him lightly. "These graphs have plotted all the different types of products we've identified for each. You can see the similarities." Each identified sample was shown in a different colour and sure enough the majority overlapped between the multiple layers.

"So it's a pretty safe bet we've got one person behind the most of it?" Jim questioned, scanning the data. He knew enough about what he was seeing to make some sense of it. Brian had only shown him the simplest identification data so he could follow it.

"So it would seem," Brian agreed.

"So we've identified that it could be the same person doing all this, but does this mean what's written in them really means anything?" Jim asked.

Brian pulled a folder closer and passed it to Jim. "A profiler put this together after going through this lot. You didn't say you didn't want it done so I made an executive decision. They weren't told anything about who was receiving the letters, although it probably wouldn't have been too hard to figure it out, although I don't know if you had noticed but the author doesn't mention your receiver by name once. There's lots of references to sort of nicknames that the author has obviously labeled him with but his real name doesn't come up once."

Jim hadn't noticed that, but he hadn't truly read through every letter in close detail after taking them from Tohma. He had left it all in Brian's capable hands to carry on with the relevant tests and he had honestly thought that there was plenty of time to deal with this situation. However, at that time he had thought he was just dealing with a harassment case. Now, he was far more afraid of just what he might be facing.

Brian continued, reaching out and tapping the file in Jim's hand, "I don't think it says much more than most of us could guess from it. We've all had dealings at one time or another with various nutters." He didn't sound like he put much faith in this part of police work, which was understandable. Brian dealt with the hard facts and liked it that way. The more abstract aspects dealing with the psychological areas of the cases he tended to brush aside.

Jim scanned the report, feeling a chill settle over him as he reread the last few paragraphs before looking over at Brian once more. "So they reckon this person could be a serious threat? That they could actual be motivated to carry out what they are saying?"

"Yep," Brian agreed bluntly. "They seem to think that this is one boy who just might have a bite worse than his bark."

"It's definitely a male?" Jim flipped back through some pages, re-reading portions.

Brian shrugged. "Well, we all know they could be wrong, but they said that everything seems to point to it being a guy. No accounting for taste."

"Hmm," Jim dropped the file on the desk top, still feeling the chill. This was not looking good. "Okay," he said standing. "I'll get the paperwork rolling on this one ready for the Chief. Can you kick things up a notch on this one? See if any of this," and he tapped the brightly coloured graphs still on the screen, "Can be narrowed down to something more useful."

"It's not likely it's going to give you your man just from this," Brian warned. "Even if we pick up any DNA from the stuff you need a body to match it with."

"Yeah, I know, don't sweat it, I'm not going to expect the impossible. But if you can narrow it down to any location, anything to maybe even give us a region to start with, that would help."

"I'll see what I can do," Brian then grinned at him. "The team's going to love you," he said cheerily. "You're going to owe them donuts for the next month."

"Tell 'em I'll even throw in the coffee if they make something happen," Jim said with a return smile.

"You're going to have to," Brian said as he picked up the phone. "Because I'm calling them in now and we'll be burning the midnight oil on this one."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** a little bad language

Summary:. The bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together - and introducing Kumagoro. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris; the rest belong to the creators of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained memories: Chapter 7

Tohma stood in silence, unable to do anything at all, feeling completely helpless as he watched the tears run down the smooth cheeks of the woman standing before him. His heart broke in two at this sight, the ache physical.

He reached out a hand to lay it gently against the tear streaked face and watched as Noriko closed her watery eyes briefly and lean into his touch. The action made Tohma fight back his own tears, desperately trying to keep control of his own emotions, trying to be strong but feeling his own resolve crumbling rapidly.

Suddenly the previously silent Noriko let out a pitiful wail and threw herself against his chest, burrowing into the crook of his neck, hands clutching the lapels of his jacket in a death grip and sobbing as though her own heart was breaking.

This completely undid Tohma and he felt his own cheeks become wet with tears and sobs begin to catch in his throat as his arms automatically wrapped around the petite figure and held her tightly, desperately holding onto his only friend left him now.

He had phoned Noriko the following day. She had only just returned to Japan to be with Tetsuya for a time before coming back to New York. Tohma and Ryuichi hadn't intended returning till some time later which had given them the perfect opportunity to go on the hunt for the perfect wedding gift before her return. Afterwards, Tohma planned on taking a short trip home himself. He had been wanting to see Mika again, to learn how Eiri was doing. Mika's conversation about her brother's changed behaviour worried him. He couldn't picture the joyful child he once knew acting like street punk, no matter how hard he tried. Surely Mika was exaggerating. But then, Mika never exaggerated. That is what worried him more than anything. So he no longer intended to put off his trip home, it was long overdue.

But now….well, now he couldn't even think about his planed trip, he had something far more critical to deal with. He had considered for a moment of keeping Ryuichi's disappearance a secret from Noriko, not wishing to worry her, but then he remembered how he had felt when he had found out that she and Ryuichi had kept secrets from him and he realized he couldn't do it.

So he had made the call, with no idea of what to even say as the phone rang in his ear, dread mounting with every second. When the familiar voice finally answered he was saved the trouble of trying to find the words, as after only saying her name, Noriko's response had been, "What's wrong?".

He had had to fight back the tears to get the next word out which was "Ryuichi,", and that was greeted with silence before he was finally able to say, "He's disappeared". Although there was still only silence, he could almost feel the tension emanating through the phone line, then she had said only, "I'm on my way.".

He had opened his mouth to tell her not to, that that wasn't why he was calling, but she had already hung up. He had looked at the silent phone for some time after, feeling guilty because of the relief and pleasure of knowing she would soon be with him. Just that thought was enough to give him a sense of comfort that he hadn't had since realizing he had lost Ryuichi.

True to her word, Noriko had arrived in record time. She must have caught the very next available flight and paid for first class no less, and soon was at the airport where he had met her. They had not hugged upon meeting there. Anyone seeing them would have thought they were strangers meeting for the first time perhaps, not lifelong friends. Both had stood stiffly and not spoken. The drive back to his apartment had also been in silence, no words being uttered until they were both safely ensconced in his home.

They had stood in the centre of his lounge room facing each other. Noriko had remained impassive as Tohma began to quietly explain the sequence of events that had lead to this point in time, in a voice that was just above a whisper and strained. She had said nothing, her features reflecting none of her inner thoughts, just listening.

Until this point when finally she allowed her emotions to come to the surface, and now clung to him with a strength born of despair. And so they cried together, their anguish calling to each other.

Finally Noriko's weeping lessened and she raised her head to look up at him. He dredged up a wane smile for her benefit and reached up to carefully wipe a few tears from her blotchy face.

She grimaced. "I must look a sight," she said as she wriggled out of his clasp, pushing her straggly hair back. "Give me a minute to clean up."

He didn't try to stop her as she fled to the bathroom, knowing that she would be feeling a little embarrassed now by her breakdown. Noriko was a naturally strong person so to show any sign of weakness was unusual for her, even in front of him. Even though he felt that she could be more than excused under these circumstances.

He made his way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and drawing out some juice. He had realized that he had to stop turning to solace of alcohol. It may help deaden the pain that tore at his heart but it never made it go away completely. Nothing would do that - except the safe return of his friend. He refused to accept that he would not get Ryuichi back. He was not prepared to accept that as a possibility in any way and he intended to do everything to make his belief a reality. So the alcohol had to go as he could not afford to have his senses dulled with drink.

"Can I have one of those?" The quiet voice brought him back to the present. He smiled warmly and poured another glass, passing it to Noriko, who took it and raised it to her lips. Tohma noticed that her features no longer appeared as blotchy and puffy as before, although her eyes were still red.

"So," she said, moving quite briskly to the other side of the counter and perching on one of the stools there. "What do we do next?"

She looked at him expectantly and he felt two conflicting emotions; pride that she had such faith in him, fear that he would fail her because he really didn't know. His uncertainly must have shown because she reached across and squeezed one of his hands resting on the counter. "We'll do it together, just like we always do." she said reassuringly, sharing her strength with him. "So just think for a moment and let's see what we should we do first."

Tohma pursed his lips, trying to switch his brain back into gear, pushing his pain to one side as obviously Noriko was doing.

"Well," He quickly felt his mind fall into the calm, analytical plane that it usually functioned on when he was working a deal, and his thoughts began to collect. "The police are already on it." Noriko raised an eyebrow questioning. "I called Jim Harris and asked him to look into it," he explained.

"Ah," she answered, looking quite satisfied with that, although also a little concerned. "That's good, but do you think it is entirely wise?" He had finally told her and Ryuichi of his previous involvement with the detective and they had all agreed that it was obvious the man still harboured some doubts as to Tohma's involvement in the Kitazawa incident. Tohma really didn't mind if Jim thought he was responsible. His only concern was if the detective's attention strayed towards Eiri.

He gave a small shrug, "I think it will be fine." He hoped. He looked seriously at Noriko. "I really didn't think I had a choice at the time. He already knew about the letters because I had asked him to discreetly follow-up on that problem. He was the most logical person to contact now this had happened."

"Okay," she concurred, not pressing the issue any further so he continued. "I'll run interference if need be. I'm sure we'll do okay." She grinned at him. "After all, he's not going to want to upset his fiancée by hounding her favourite idols is he?"

Tohma smiled at that, "No, I don't think he would so we might just be safe." Noriko continued to smirk. "Anyway," Tohma continued, "That means that the investigation has already begun, I don't see Jim as any slouch so I think we can assume that processes have been put in motion." He played with the empty glass in his hand. "I don't know how this is going to play out. I've already spoken with Jim and told him everything I could at the time. There will no doubt be a number of further questions they will require from us so I think we can expect that. Hopefully it will still only be Jim or just a select few, I don't particular fancy the idea of speaking of Ryuichi's more personal nature to more complete strangers."

Noriko screwed her nose up attractively. "I doubt too many people would exactly understand his…..quirks." she said.

"Exactly," Tohma agreed. "So I don't want them just thinking of him as some weird celebrity and thus brush this incident aside or not treat it seriously. I will _not_ allow that to happen."

A hint of steel edged into his voice as he uttered the last and Noriko saw the gleam beginning to shine once more in his eyes, hardening them. She felt herself relaxing a little, the tension easing, the iron band around her chest that had been constricting her breathing and squeezing her heart since he had first called her began to loosen. Seeing Tohma returning to his usual strong, fully in control mode made her feel safe, it made her feel that everything would be all right. She had hated seeing Tohma looking so broken, so wrung out. She had been completely shocked into silence when she had seen him at the airport. All the subtle signs that probably only she and Ryuichi, and probably Mika, could see that showed that Tohma Seguchi was suffering were there. Something that she never thought she would see. Tohma had always been the strongest of them all, the calm rational balance in the triad that was Nittle Grasper. They had relied on him for that and he had never let them down. Seeing him looking so….destroyed had nearly brought her to her knees and she had felt so afraid. For if Tohma couldn't bear it, how could she?

Now…..seeing him slowly transform back into what he had always been, the rock, the strong foundation that she knew relieved her immensely. She had complete and utter faith in Tohma, especially when he was like this. He _would_ get Ryuichi back - she just knew it.

Tohma pushed back his hair from his forehead, the lank strands snagging on his fingers but he ignored it. "I will be insisting that we be kept abreast on every aspect of this investigation." he said. "We need to know everything that they learn because we are the only ones who might be able to interpret anything they may find to do with Ryu." He half smiled at Noriko. "You know how he can be. He might try and leave us a clue which makes perfect sense to him, but no-one else would have any idea what it would be about except us."

"That's so true," Noriko agreed, nodding her head before tilting it to one side. "Do you think they'll let us know what is going on?"

Tohma just met her eyes calmly. "I can guarantee it." he said evenly and Noriko felt a delighted shiver run up her spine. Yes, she couldn't help thinking, Tohma's back!

She absently played with a pen near her hand. "So if that end of it is under control, what else do we need to be doing?"

Tohma came round the kitchen counter to sit beside her. "I've asked Jim to keep it as quiet as possible, though I don't know how effective that will be. We don't want a lot of media activity on this if we can help it. If the abductor is doing this to promote their own fame and sense of glory, the more media attention the more they'll enjoy it and they may try to play to it further."

Noriko shot him a sharp glance. "You mean they might try to…." Her voice choked off as she couldn't continue the original thought.

Tohma hurriedly stepped in to try and reassure her a little. "I'm just saying we don't want to give them any fuel for whatever fantasies they may have regarding Ryuichi. If it is the same person who wrote those letters they are obviously fixated on him, and have been for some time."

"Is it the same person?" Noriko asked.

Tohma shrugged. "Jim seems to think it is quite likely. At least that is the initial path they are taking. I really hope that is the case."

"Why?" Noriko demanded, glaring at him. "That's just horrible if it is!"

Tohma held up a placating hand. "I know it is, and I'm not saying that it's not. But at least if it is the same person we've already got some possible clues in the form of the letters that may help us find Ryu. The police already have something they can be working on. If it is not the same person but someone completely different what do we have to work with?"

Noriko chewed on her lower lip as she considered the grim picture Tohma had just presented. "Oh, gods," she moaned, "You're right. It would then be like looking for a needle in a haystack. There wouldn't even be a place to start!"

"Precisely," Tohma said. "Which is why I do hope that the perpetrator of this crime is the same person. We will be so much further along than if it is not."

Noriko gave a visible shiver. "It's all just so freaky." she almost whispered.

Tohma smiled sympathetically for he felt exactly the same way, although he was now better at hiding it.

She took a deep breath, obviously trying to gain her calm perspective on the case once more. "Okay, so the main thing we've got to do whilst the police are investigating is to try and stop the press getting a hold of this." She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Got any ideas on how are we going to do that? Ryu is pretty noticeable."

Tohma grimaced, and not for the first time, wished his missing friend wasn't such a larger than life personality. "I don't know yet," he replied honestly. "We need to find a way to keep the media's attention away from the fact that Ryu isn't around at the moment. At least we're not touring at the moment, nor have we any personal appearances booked since we've just completed a tour so that is definitely working in our favour."

"Can't we just say he went back home?" she asked meaning back to Japan.

Tohma shook his head. "Far too easy to verify, and then there would just be speculation in two countries."

Noriko crinkled her nose in response to that answer. "You're right. Not an option. So what else?"

Tohma pulled absently at the lobe of his ear as he thought. "We need a distraction," he pondered thinking out load.

"A distraction?"

"Something to keep the attention of the media focused way from whether Ryu is present or not."

"A distraction," Noriko murmured.

They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in thought.

"Look," Noriko suddenly said briskly, springing off the stool and to her feet. "That's enough for the moment. We're both dead tired and probably not even thinking straight right now. So you go and get some sleep, you look like you really need it."

He smiled wryly at her. "You always seem to be sending me to bed." he said with laughter in his voice.

She tossed her head in a haughty gesture, flicking her hair out of her eyes. "That's because you need someone to look after you. When are you going to hurry up and marry Mika? Then it can be her job to keep you in line."

His smile saddened a little. "That will have to wait a little longer," he replied, hoping that the incident with Eiri hadn't completely destroyed any chance he might have had with fulfilling that dream.

"Still having trouble with the old man?" she asked with sympathy.

Tohma just inclined his head a little but didn't actually answer. He didn't really have to; Noriko was intimately familiar with his difficulties with Mika's father so he really didn't have to explain anything further.

"Go on," she scolded. "I'm going to lie down myself. I haven't had much chance to rest either."

"You take the bed," he gallantly offered.

"Don't be silly," she snorted, making shooing motions at him. "Your sofa is quite good enough. It's not like it isn't the first time I've slept on it!"

He knew there was no point in arguing further so followed her instructions with a warm smile. "Very well, we'll talk more later." he said, making his way to the bedroom.

"Sure!" Noriko replied, plumping some cushions and settling down. She smiled over at him, eyes sparkling. "Sleep tight."

"You too,"

He didn't think he would sleep. How could he sleep at a time like this? One of his dearest friends was missing, stolen away from him by some unknown person. He would make the person pay dearly for taking something so precious from him. What was Ryuichi going through? Where was he? Was he all right? Yes, Tohma told himself firmly, willing himself to believe it fully. Ryuichi was all right. He would remain unharmed until he found him. Because if so much as one single hair was harmed on that dark head Tohma would see that someone suffered for it.

So he hadn't thought sleep would be possible under these circumstances so he was surprised when he woke many hours later to find dawn just breaking on the next day. He picked up his watch from the bedside table and saw that he had almost slept round the clock. Sitting up, he yawned widely, feeling his jaw crack at the stretch. He still felt a little weary, as though even that extended sleep hadn't been enough to revitalize his flagging energies. Not surprising really; emotional trauma can tire the body just as much as physical exertion.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and went immediately to the shower. He luxuriated in the warmth of the water on his aching body, vigorously scrubbing his hair as he washed it thoroughly. As he stepped out and wrapped a towel around he felt one hundred times better, feeling far more like his normal self, feeling the fog that had seemed to cloud his mind beginning to lift. The shower had not only seemed to cleans his body but also cleared his mind. Now he felt that he could truly begin to find a way to get his friend back.

He quickly and efficiently dressed then made his way out to the main room where he found Noriko slumbering quietly on the couch curled up on her side, looking almost childlike. A soft smile curved his lips at the sight. She looked so endearing like that, so sweet and innocent. And so very, very precious to him.

He stepped into the kitchen, trying to keep the noise to a minimum so as not to wake the slumbering beauty in his lounge room. He intended to have breakfast ready for when she awoke, a small token of his appreciation for all the support she had given him. Now that there were the two of them together he felt so much more certain that they could find their missing third member. Nittle Grasper was a trio, and he would make certain they remained that way.

The pleasant aroma from his cooking began to fill the apartment. "That smells good," A sleepy voice said from the lounge room.

He looked across the counter to see Noriko stretching like a waking cat before draping arms over the sofa arm with chin resting on it to look at him. She looked quite arresting, in a completely disheveled manner. Her hair was mussed and clung around her face, falling over her eyes. He held in a chuckle. She looked like a demented pixie.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Hmm, hmm," she indicated, rolling over and stretching again, including her long legs, before sitting up and running fingers through her untamed mane of hair.

He quickly filled the bowls, carrying them to set down on the low coffee table. "Help yourself," he said, continuing on his way to the door. "I'll be back in a moment."

He went down the stairs quickly to check his mailbox, almost hoping he would find a note from Ryuichi indicating it was all a joke and wasn't it funny and he would be home soon, even though he knew just how unlikely that was. Clearing the box, there were only a few letters which he did no more than glance at as he collected the morning paper also. As he mounted the stairs on his way back to the apartment he opened the mail and found that none of them were important. Meaning there was nothing from his friend.

He entered the apartment to find Noriko heartily tucking into the meal, her hair now pulled back in a loose tie so it wouldn't be in the way. She threw him a cheery smile as she continued to chew. "You cook like a dream, Tohma!" she exclaimed, bringing another mouthful to her lips. "You're going to make a great wife!"

He smiled at the comment. It was pretty much a standard joke as out of them all he was recognized as having the best culinary skills. In truth, he liked it, and nothing pleased him more than seeing his friend sitting before him enjoying it so much.

He sat on the floor opposite her, folding his legs neatly under him, dropping the papers next to his knees before he reached out and filled a bowl for himself. He was hungry also. There was a time of silence as they both just enjoyed a great meal with pleasant company, and for a moment forgetting their current troubles.

As they sat savouring the hot mugs of tea Tohma pulled the morning paper closer to him, opening it up fully. He glanced over the headlines as he took a swallow of tea and then began to choke, liquid spluttering violently from between his lips as he coughed hard, gasping for breath simultaneously.

"Tohma! Are you okay?!" Noriko sounded extremely concerned but Tohma glared at her as he continued to cough, tears beginning to stream from his eyes. She gazed back at him, confused by the look of accusation. "What? What have I done?"

Tohma still couldn't speak so could only hold the paper up, letting it hang from his fingers facing Noriko so she could read the first page.

"Oh," she said in a small voice, her eyes growing wide. She flicked a quick glance to his still stern face. "Sorry?" she offered in placating voice, obviously hoping to soothe him

He gave her another of his patented glares as he stood to head for the kitchen to wipe his face down, finally getting his coughing spasm under control. Noriko lifted the paper to glance over the story as he took a drink of water, feeling the tightening in his chest easing. He then made his way back to where Noriko was still seated, sitting down next to her on the sofa.

His gaze dropped to the paper resting on her knees and he just shook his head before looking up at her. "What were you thinking?" he wanted to know, feeling a little bewildered.

She shrugged. "You said we needed a distraction." She flicked the paper before her. "Isn't this enough of one?"

He looked down at the headlines and had to admit that it would certainly serve as what they needed. The headlines read, "Nittle Grasper Wedding To Rock This Town!".

Jim knocked forcefully on the closed door before him again, harder this time to match the anger he was feeling.

"It won't open any quicker by hitting it harder if there's no one home."

The quiet voice behind him made him spin around to see Tohma standing there, two carry bags in hand and head tipped slightly to one side

"Where the hell have you been?!" he snapped out, anger still bubbling inside.

Tohma raised one brow and made his way past him, transferring a bag into his other hand so he could slip the key in the lock, before entering and leaving the door open so Jim could follow, which he did.

"Is there something you've found out?" Tohma asked, setting the bags on the kitchen counter and opening the fridge to begin putting the shopping away. With Noriko staying with him indefinitely he wanted to be certain to stock up on things now.

"No, not yet," Jim replied, sitting opposite and feeling a little calmer. "We're working on it."

"Then why this dramatic arrival?" Tohma questioned curiously. He had never seen Jim Harris looking agitated before. The man had always seemed to manage to maintain a fairly calm exterior. The only other time he had seen any change in this demeanour had been in response to Ryuichi's teasing. But then anyone would lose their calm around Ryu!

"I wanted to know what you're playing at!" Jim snapped out.

"Care to explain?" Tohma said calmly, refusing to rise to the bait.

"The paper!" Jim grated.

Tohma thought for a moment, wondering what Jim meant and then the penny dropped. "Oh, you mean the wedding."

"Yeah! Just what the hell are you up to?"

"Actually," Tohma replied, leaving the kitchen and making his way over to the drinks counter. "I had nothing to do with it." Jim's derisive snort clearly indicated his disbelief at that statement and Tohma flashed him a grin as he poured two drinks. "Truly," He crossed the floor and held a glass out towards the other man. "That was all Noriko's idea. I was as surprised as anyone."

Jim took the drink but continued to eye him disbelievingly. "Are you trying to tell me that she deliberately made a spectacle of her wedding plans by inviting it to turn into a three-ring circus?"

Tohma nodded as he took a sip of his drink. "Yes." he confirmed, turning to sit on the sofa. "She was trying to draw the media's attention away from Ryuichi being missing. This should give the press something else to focus on."

"I don't believe you," Jim said bluntly. :"No woman is going to possibly ruin her wedding day!"

Tohma met Jim's eyes with a steady serious gaze. "Noriko would do anything for Ryuichi. He's very important to her. To us."

Jim tried to hold the gaze but was then forced to look away. He glanced down at the drink in his hand and then quickly tossed it all back in one gulp.

"So her husband-to-be went along with it?" He said, finding it difficult to believe that. He knew that he wouldn't if it were his wedding.

Tohma gave a soft laugh. "Believe me when I say that Tetsuya Ukai would agree to anything if it was what Noriko wanted."

Jim sighed. "Boy, is he whipped!"

"Completely," Tohma grew somber for a minute. "Bt then if he wasn't we wouldn't have a chance of pulling this off."

Jim watched him with narrowed eyes. "So, just what have you two been cooking up?" he wanted to know.

Tohma shrugged. "Nothing more than this." He assured Jim though the other man didn't look particularly reassured. "Noriko will continue to play things up to the fullest, which will give us the opportunity to find Ryuichi."

"Us?" Now it was Jim's turn to quirk an eyebrow in surprise.

"Yes," Tohma replied. "Us."

His tone brooked no argument but Jim still put his empty glass down to do so, brow furrowed. 'Forget it," he said flatly. "You're a civilian. You've got no place in any of this. Leave it to the professionals."

Tohma's lips thinned and his steely gaze pinned Jim. "Ryuichi is my friend and I will find him." He took another drink, not breaking eye contact with Jim. "With or without you."

Jim was prepared to snap something back but then decided against it. Looking at the expression on Tohma's face there was nothing he could say that would make any difference at all. It reminded him of his first glimpse of this man many months ago through the one-way mirror of an interrogation room. Back then his first impression had been of someone who truly stuck by their guns. However, he could not have this man interfering. An investigation was a delicate process and he didn't need any rank amateurs in there messing things up and confusing the issue. He had to try and deter Tohma in some way without putting him completely offside.

"I'll keep you informed," he conceded. "But you've got to stay out of the way. Just leave it to us. We'll get him back."

"You don't know Ryuichi as we do." Tohma pointed out firmly.

"If we need anything, we'll ask." Jim replied just as firmly.

Tohma didn't reply and his expression certainly didn't indicate any agreement but Jim let it drop at this time. If he kept pushing the issue Tohma Seguchi would most likely just dig his heels in deeper. Jim had to try and avoid that at all costs. He could understand the man being upset about what had happened, being worried for the safety of his friend and wanting to help, Jim found it just as hard to sit idly on the side-lines, but he couldn't let Tohma interfere. With a sigh he ran a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Tough night?" Tohma asked softly.

"Yeah," Jim replied, thinking back on the long hours and the far to few snatched moments of sleep. He eyed the blond man before him. "How the hell you can look so perfect at the moment is beyond me!" He knew his voice sounded like he was whining but he couldn't help it. Tohma did look damn good. It was an astounding transformation from the last time he had seen him.

Tohma smiled warmly. "Noriko is a great pick me up."

Jim's eyes widened a little as his brain kicked into overdrive. "You mean…. you and she….?"

Tohma's hand made a decisive cutting motion, halting anything further Jim may have been going to say. "No!" was the emphatic answer, then his voice softened again. "No, not in that way. It is just a great relief to have her with me now."

"Yeah, I guess it would be. Sorry, didn't mean to make it seem sordid or anything."

"No matter," Tohma forgave him easily. "It is a common assumption. And certainly not the first time someone has made it. They don't know how wrong they could be."

"I suppose it would be in your industry." Jim paused for a moment, watching Tohma, drink half-way to his mouth as another thought struck him. "You don't mean…?" He trailed off and then continued manfully. "You and Ryuichi… that display on stage...do you mean you two..?" He just couldn't go on.

Tohma's smile just grew wider and mischief sparkled in his eyes. "I am a gentleman," he said smoothly. "And a gentleman never tells."

"But, but….." Jim just couldn't get even a full sentence out. Was Tohma indicating that there was a lot more to his relationship with Ryuichi Sakuma? "Are you trying to say you two are an…..item?" he finally blurted out although his voice almost squeaked at the thought it was trying to express.

"If I'm not going to tell, you'll never know, will you?" Tohma said amicably, not at all ruffled by the conversation.

"How can you just sit there so calmly talking about this stuff?!" Jim scrubbed his hands through his hair feeling very much out of his depth. He had been pretty certain that Ryuichi Sakuma swung that way but up until now he had thought that Tohma Seguchi had been straight, despite his displays on stage with his bandmate. Had he been wrong all this time?

Tohma chuckled, finding great delight in the other man's obvious discomfort and confusion and not inclined to put him out of his misery in any way. Jim could put up with this for the mind-games he had played at their first meeting. Payback's a bitch – or at least it's Tohma Seguchi.

"Well, the issue of our sexuality and preferences has come up from the very first time we played so it is quite normal for it to be discussed." He smirked at Jim. "We just don't see any reason to confirm or deny anything raised generally. Let the public think what they want."

He leant forward on his chair so his shirt fell open and raising a hand to run one long finger down his neck, dipping into the hollow at the base of his throat and down the sternum until it was halted by the button holding the shirt together in the middle of his chest. "Besides," he said in a low husky voice, maintaining eye contact with the man before him as he languidly played with the button, half undoing it and then redoing it over and over again. "Isn't the imagination a wonderful thing? You never know what you might be missing out on."

He could almost see Jim's eyes glaze as his mind bent like a pretzel trying to assimilate this possible information, coupled with Tohma's blatant display. He was certain the man was re-visualising Nittle Grasper's last concert and his and Ryu's little exhibition on stage. Although he was completely certain that Jim Harris was as heterosexual as they come and had absolutely no doubts about his own sexuality that didn't mean that he couldn't find himself unexpectedly surprised at finding…. stimulation at such images. Oh, yes, Ryuichi could certainly do that to any man.

Finally Jim seemed able to drag his mind from where ever it had taken him and he shook his head violently to dispel whatever thoughts he was having. He was looking more than a little pale, although there was also a slight flush on his cheeks. Tohma smirked, feeling pleased with himself. Ryuichi would have been proud of his performance!

He could stop the laugh that escaped him as he leant back once more in his chair, taking delight in watching the detective squirm before him.

Jim glared at him then stood and stalked over to the cupboard to pour himself another drink, tossing it down his throat so quickly he coughed a couple of times before gaining his equilibrium once more.

"You are fucking evil," he snarled spinning around and glaring at Tohma. "The devil incarnate!"

Tohma swiveled in his chair so he could view the man somewhat behind him, a smile still on his face. "I don't know what you mean." He said, keeping his face controlled.

"Hmph!" Jim snorted making his way back to his seat. He threw himself into it the a deep sigh. "Oh, man," he said, almost groaning. "I don't know how much I can take of all this."

"What's that?" Tohma wanted to know.

"This male bonding thing you have with Ryuichi!"

Tohma shrugged again, taking a little pity on the man and bringing them back into a more serious frame of mind. "It's always been that way," he tried to explain. "Ryuichi, Noriko and I, we've always been together. The years before we met seemed to have no meaning, as though they were nothing more than a precursor of our time to come when we finally were together."

"That's just too weird for me." Jim declared.

Tohma similed. "It's simply because you haven't someone like that, or you wouldn't find it so strange."

"Maybe." Jim agreed.

"That is why," Tohma said seriously. "I need to be involved." Jim opened his mouth to argue again but Tohma interrupted. " I understand your concerns, I truly do." He assured the detective. "But no-one, and I mean no-one, know Ryuichi like myself and Noriko. I would never place Noriko in any possible danger, and besides she is doing her part in keeping the media occupied so I won't interfere with her plans. That leaves me to find Ryu. If there is anything out there, any clues or ideas or hunches about him, I'm the best person to see them, to be able to perhaps interpret them. Ryu will know I'll be looking for him, he'll do what he can to try and help me."

He looked the other man directly in the eyes, letting him see just how serious he was. It seemed like Jim was actually truly listening to him so he continued. "Look, you've seen how the three of us are. We know each other so well that we can think alike, we can almost know what each other is thinking at times. We have a….." he grappled for the right word to use which would not sound so outlandish that this pragmatic detective would dismiss him out of hand. "sense of each other. It's not like we can track each other down but we can get inklings of what each other is doing and if we're close to each other."

Tohma shifted in his chair, placing his barely touched drink on the table. "I know you think that's strange but it is the truth. I truly am the best person to help you find where Ryuichi is, and the sooner we find him the better."

Jim couldn't argue with that last statement. In such cases as this, time really was of the essence. Every day, every hour that went by compounded the situation, opened it up to more possibilities, allowed more time for the kidnapper to re-evaluate his plan and possibly begin to take it to extremes that he hadn't previously considered. Time was their enemy, he knew that.

He also had to grudgingly admit that some of the other things Tohma mentioned had some validity, as much as he hated to think that. He had seen how close the three band members were, the way they worked so well together like a well-oiled machine. He couldn't deny that they obviously had very close ties with each other and that insight into another person's mind could be invaluable in determining how they would react to a situation and what they might try and do. Something there could sometimes be the breakthrough in any case.

But he still didn't want a civilian involved. There was no-way he could justify it to his Chief in the first place, he could lose his badge for allowing it. As far as he knew, Tohma Seguchi had no idea about police investigations, apart from his involvement from the other side of the table. Jim still couldn't help but wonder about that, for although the case had been closed to the satisfaction of apparently all concerned, he still felt niggling little doubts as to what had really gone down at that time. All he knew was that Tohma Seguchi had been in the midst of it all and there was far more to the story than they knew. And far more to Tohma than he could guess.

"Look, this I can do." He finally said, coming to decision. "Like I said before, I'll keep you informed on what is happening but I will require you to sign a declaration of confidentiality if you want to be in on this."

"Agreed," Tohma said quickly.

"I'll also let you come into the station at times to sit in on the discussions of the task force where you can give any input if you think there's something that might help."

"Fine." Tohma could hardly believe what he was hearing. He had thought he would have to continue to argue his point for some time to come before Jim Harris would have finally given in. Was there a catch here somewhere?

"You can be involved but," now Jim pinned him with his hard gaze. "You will stay out of things you are told to and you will not withhold any information that is relevant to this case. If you do then I will arrest you for impediment of a police investigation and make damn sure they throw the book at you."

Tohma was in no doubt that Jim meant it, well and truly. There was no weakness in his eyes as he said this and so Tohma bowed his head slightly. "Very well." He agreed, though he didn't know yet if he could really keep that promise yet until he was more involved in the search for Ryuichi. He didn't want to deliberately obstruct Jim or cause him problems, but finding Ryu was his top priority and all else had to be secondary.

Jim then stood, holding out his hand. "Okay then," he said, a smile coming to his previously blank face. "Welcome aboard."

Tohma also stood and clasped the outstretched hand, shaking it. "Thank you," he said sincerely, having some idea of just what Jim was offering him above and beyond his normal jurisdiction. "I truly do appreciate it."

"Hey, no sweat," Jim replied, falling back into his normal cheery self as he made his way to the door. "Why don't you come round to the station about 9am tomorrow and meet the rest of the team and we'll go through what we've got so far?"

"I'll be there," Tohma said, holding the door open.

"See ya then!" Jim called out as he made his way down the stairs, whistling.

Tohma carefully closed the door and leant on it for a moment with eyes closed. Hold on, Ryu, he thought, trying to send his feelings winging to wherever his friend was. Just hold on. I'll find you.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** Implied violence, deprivation of liberty, implied rape and torture.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained Memories: Chapter 8

Dark. It was dark. Very dark.

The darkness pressed in around him, wrapping around his body like a smothering blanket, tangling his limbs, tying him down, engulfing him.

It was so very dark.

And silent.

A silence that was deafening in its absence of sound; a silence that dulled the senses and cut him off from everything, as though he was no longer even a part of this silent world.

It was dark and silent – two things that Ryuichi hated the most.

He hated the dark. It was frightening, terrifying, stealing away the brightness of the light. It made him feel as though he had lost his way; that he no longer had a clear path to see, the shining star that he followed to his destiny swallowed by the blackness leaving him abandoned. The darkness was his enemy.

And silence - he had never liked too much silence. Silence was the absence of sound, of all sound, of every tone, note, hum or resonance. Ryuichi lived for sound; he always found something to listen to, music was created in his mind by everything that surrounded him, filling his senses with rhythm, every cadence strumming through his body from head to toe. Sound was his soul, but now it felt like it was being buried under this weight of silence.

He hated the darkness and the silence.

He shifted, arms and legs stretching to prevent cramping, and heard the wrinkle of plastic under one limb. He reached out blindly with his hands, unable to see at all, and his questing fingers found the plastic bag. A smile stretched his taut face, forcing muscles that had had little reason lately to create such a facial expression to respond. It was a smile that came without conscious thought as his hands finally felt the soft plushness within the interior of the cold plastic.

He pulled the bag towards him, crushing it to his chest, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. He had thought he had lost it. Although he couldn't see anything in the inky blackness he knew only too well what he held. He could picture it clearly in his mind, the memory of when he had first seen it the only way he envision how it looked.

He fixed on that picture and held it firmly in his mind, clinging to it like a life-line, a link to a time long past. A soft, rounded felt body, two long floppy ears, bright button eyes and an expression that seemed to smile at him. It was a happy looking creature, which is what had immediately drawn him to it in the first place. Some plush toys looked like they were angry, frowning or glaring at their prospective owners. Ryuichi never liked those.

This one hadn't been like that. It had seemed to look back at you with an intelligence that seemed quite real, as though it already knew what you were thinking and wanted to share those times with you. That was why he had wanted to buy it. It had seemed like something you could keep by your side for a long time to come.

"Don't worry," he whispered into the darkness, even that soft sound sounding alarmingly loud as it shattered the silence. He hugged the toy closer as his nerves jangled and fear rushed through him. He was terrified that he would be heard, that the sound would bring down the pain, the horror and the humiliation. Sound could bring back the demon.

He held his breath for a long moment, listening hard, shaking as the fear threatened to overwhelm him. When he heard nothing he let the breath out shakily, still fearful, but it would appear that he was still alone. He had been left alone now for a while.

He turned his attention back once more to his unseen companion. "Don't be afraid," he reassured it again, keeping his voice low still as he stroked it gently. "I'm with you. It'll be all right, you'll see."

He hugged the toy tighter, staring out into the darkness although the view had not changed in any way. He had been alone now for sometime, the longest he had ever been he was sure. How long he didn't know. Long ago the demon had taken his watch with its illuminated face away leaving him with no way of knowing either the passage of time or date. He had always been in darkness, barely a sliver of light being seen by his aching eyes. Whenever there had been light his eyes had been tightly bound, keeping him away from that small hope each time.

Now he still huddled in darkness, uncertain even where he was. This was the second time he had been moved. He was sure that his original prison had been a house, or at least a building of some sort. Then, after what seemed years, he had been moved to here, a place that was colder, darker and danker. His body ached all over, not just from the unmerciful treatment of the demon but from the cold that stole his warmth, leeching the heat from his already frozen skin so he shivered constantly and couldn't prevent his teeth from chattering. He spent his time with knees curled tight to his chest, arms wrapped around knees as he rocked, trying to hold onto the tiniest sparks of warmth within his body.

He wasn't bound any longer. The restraints had been removed but he had no where to go. The area was still small, confining and although Ryuichi had located what appeared could have been a door of some type there had been no handle on his side, nothing for him to grab hold of in any way so perhaps he had been mistaken. So there was still no escape for he and his friend.

His stomach rumbled, hunger clawing at him frantically. He ignored it. He was used to it by now. He hadn't seen food since this ordeal had begun. He knew that the flesh had been slowly melting away from him. He had always been lean but now, when he ran his hands down his sides he could feel his rib bones jutting out and his trousers hung loosely around his hips, only held up by his protruding hip bones. The best he had been able to do was to salve his thirst, finding water when the demon had washed him, being careful to drink unobtrusively if he could, fearful that even this small mercy would be taken from him.

When he had been moved to this new location he had gained his liquid from the damp walls that had surrounded him, small drips of condensation dribbling down the tiny fissures. It tasted revolting and at any other time would have been enough for him to throw up but in his present condition his body and mind knew that it was the only thing keeping him alive and that made it taste like heavenly nectar.

He felt like he had been teleported into some alternate universe or something just as equally bizarre. The world that he inhabited now was everything that he hated, it held every nightmare that he could ever have had, contained every aspect of life that he despised and had spent his entire life until now avoiding. The silence, the darkness, the terror, the fear, the horrors, all of it. He kept trying to see if it was just a nightmare, that he could perhaps just wake up from it but that hadn't seemed to work.

When he had awoken in this new location, feeling sick once more from the drugs that had been pumped into his system, to find the darkness even denser than before he had even reached up with one hand to touch his face to check if his eyes were actually open or was he sitting there with them closed. When the touch of his shaking fingertips against his open quivering eyelids clearly showed they were it was even more crushing than the doubts before.

He did wonder where his demon had gone. It was completely unpredictable, oscillating between taking care of him in a strange, perverted and unnerving manner, to terrorizing him and taking him to new heights of pain and agony. He shuddered, trying to drive the memories away. He had to be careful or they could overwhelm him completely. That was what had begun to happen when he had found solace in the other company of the other captive with him.

He rubbed his cheek against the softness still held tightly in his arms. He was ever so grateful for the company and without it he knew he would not have been able to cope. He had never considered himself to be weak but now, now he knew he was and he could never have survived this long without the constant support and encouragement the other had given him during the most difficult times. He would be eternally indebted for that and had made a vow that they would always be together, no matter what.

"You just hang on," he whispered to the creature in his arms. "We'll get out of this. I won't leave you behind, I promise." He pulled it closer to his face, feeling one long floppy ear brush against his cheek. "Yes, I know it's cold but that's okay. We can get as warm as we need to when we get out of here."

"What do you mean? Of course we'll get out. Don't you start getting negative on me now!" Ryuichi scolded, giving the toy a gentle shake. "I'll bet Tohma is pulling New York apart looking for us! You don't know what Tohma can get like when he's worried about something!" He giggled then, the sound a little high pitched and close to hysteria. He gulped it back, cutting it off suddenly as he felt his control beginning to slip. He took a deep breath and spoke in a more normal tone. "Now you just get some rest and I'll keep watch."

The ear rubbed against his cold cheek again. "Huh? You'll keep watch? Are you sure? Aren't you tired?" Ryuichi asked, concern colouring his voice.

"Oh, well if you're sure. You'll let me know if the demon comes back? Please?" Ryuichi almost pleaded, the mere thought enough to frighten him.

"Okay," he said, sounding a little relieved, trying to make himself more comfortable, tucking the soft creature into the crook of his arm. "Thank you."

As his tired aching eyes began to close he gave the toy one last pat and whispered warmly, "I'm glad you're here, Kumagoro."

His sleep wasn't peaceful, it never was. It had become so hard for him to discern sleep from waking. He couldn't remember much of what had happened to him at times. It all seemed to be a blur, a bizarre twisted dream that had his shocked mind in such confusion that he no longer knew where reality ended and nightmare began. Perhaps the reality was the nightmare.

He remembered being out with Tohma as they had gone shopping. It had been a special event and an important one and the two of them had been just going about their own business. He remembered picking up the toy that now lay nestled in his arms, for Noriko as they had perused the shops. It had exactly been what he had intended to get for Noriko's wedding present but it had brought a smile to his face when he had first seen it and had immediately thought that perhaps Noriko would find it funny as well.

Tohma hadn't seemed to mind his spur of the moment purchase either, once he had explained that he was happy to add something a little more suitable to it as well, so they had just continued on their way. It probably would have been better if they had had some real idea of what they wanted to get. Tohma no doubt had had a list in his head of possibilities but Ryuichi hadn't. He always just followed his heart at times like that.

He remembered that something had caught his eye in one of the shop windows as they had continued on their wedding present quest which had made him veer away. He couldn't even remember what it had been now. It hadn't been anything important really, just something that had quirked his curiousity which he could never deny and so he had left Tohma's side to check it out. That in itself wasn't unusual. He often would dart off to check something out before rushing back to his friend's side to be met by Tohma's patient smile. Tohma knew him well and was not perturbed by this behaviour in any way. Everything had been so ordinary, so normal.

As he had stood at the window, half bent over to look in past the glare on the glass, he remembered feeling someone bump against his side which was a little surprising as it hadn't been that crowded with pedestrians. However just on its own he hadn't taken much notice, not even when he had felt a sharp prick in his leg as though stuck with a pin that had made him jump a little. Then he had turned to demand an apology for the rudeness but the words had died as his head suddenly spun, his vision blurring. His knees began to shake, muscles quivering, before folding beneath him, dropping him towards the ground.

He had felt someone supporting him, stopping his downward slide before he could connect with the hard pavement. _Tohma,_ he had muzzily thought, _Tohma came to get me_, but as he had lifted a head that now felt heavy as lead the features that blurred and swayed before his eyes were not of his best friend but a complete stranger and suddenly Ryuichi was overwhelmed by a sense of dread and intense fear. If he had had the strength or ability to scream out he would have, to call for Tohma, but all that escaped was a frightened whimper as darkness stole over him.

When he had first awoken it had been but for a brief moment. His head had felt as though it were stuffed with cotton wool, every thought difficult to form, and his eyes stung, making them water. It had been dark and he could feel something tightly wound around his head, pressing against his eyes, his body bound hand and feet.

He couldn't move; his body unable to respond to his weak demands but he could feel movement surrounding him in the way of motion, swaying, the distant thrumming of sound and vibration through his body. As he had drifted back into darkness once more he realized that he must have been in a moving vehicle, the sounds of the tyres on the road and the hum of the engine what he had been hearing.

The next time he had awoken it was again to darkness, yet now everything was still. He had no idea of how long it had been since he had first lost consciousness, no way of knowing the passage of time. He was still restrained, hands and feet bound, something over his eyes, obstructing his view. The blindfold hadn't cut out all sight though. Through a section of the cloth which was a little thinner than the rest he could just see a faint glimmer near what appeared to be the floor that could have been light filtering from under a door, though whether it was sunlight or false illumination he didn't know. Either way, it heralded a chance of escape, a beacon of hope that he had to try and reach.

He had still felt very lethargic but he had made himself move, forcing stiff and protesting limbs to stretch out. As he unbent his knees his feet soon struck something solid, the jarring impact almost painful. Tapping with them it seemed like he had struck a wall but it echoed like wood where he had been expecting something more solid. He moved his head and blindly struck another solid section, hard enough to make him see stars.

Taking the dimensions into account he appeared to be confined in a small space not even long enough for him to stretch out fully. He was aware then of further discomfort. He tried to roll over, his bound arms behind his back and previous position of resting on one shoulder having numbed his left side. As he did he heard the loud wrinkle of plastic and felt a soft lumpiness under his chest. Before he could think of it any further the rush of circulation back into his numbed body was enough to make him gasp at the sudden pain and in his weakened condition he passed out once more.

He vaguely remembered coming to with a hazy mind at some time later, remembered being moved, legs dragging as he was pulled along by under his arms. He remembered his legs banging, jerking, as though he was being dragged down stairs, the uncomfortable position and every jarring impact making his head and body hurt more and his stomach roil. He remembered that descent, feeling the air as it seemed to grow colder and darker.

With the last heave that brought him back onto even ground, his abused and drugged body could not take any more and he was violently ill, throwing up with a violence that made him gag and he slipped into blackness wondering if he was going to choke on his own vomit and die in this dark place.

Later he awoke to the feel of hands on his body and the sensation of his clothing being removed. He had weakly protested, trying to struggle feeling he was no longer restrained, but the heaviness of his limbs suggested he had been drugged once more so he found himself completely unable to fight back in any way.

The anonymous hands continued to remove his clothing in slow and deliberate motions, right down to taking off his shoes. He whimpered at the chill that struck his sweating flesh as he lay naked on the cold floor, then sighed as the touch of warm water began to bathe his face and neck. It seemed he was being cleaned up as he realized the cloying smell of vomit had begun to dissipate. The warm water was even tipped through his hair, wetting it thoroughly, and the scent of lavender filled the air briefly as fingers rubbed his scalp with gentle motions. In the warmth and comforting aroma Ryuichi couldn't help but relax a little, feeling a little cleaner and fresher.

But then the hands left his head and began to continue over his body, no longer cleaning, drifting over lower potions; down his chest, over his feet, up his legs, across his crotch. He whimpered again, this time in true fear, tensing up, trying to pull away and again unable to make his body work to his will.

He felt his last bit of clothing, his briefs, removed, sliding down his legs, and then the hands were back, touching, stroking, caressing. Ryuichi continued to whimper which soon turned to quiet sobs yet still the hands never ceased their touching.

Tears leaked from his bound eyes, sliding from the corners and slipping into his damp hair. It was not that he was unused to being touched so intimately. He was no virgin and even the fact that he could tell that the hands were male wasn't what upset him. He had realized long ago that his sexuality was more than a little ambiguous and it depended more on the pleasure and interest, than gender.

No, it was not because of these things he cried. It was because these anonymous hands were taking from him something that, until now, had only been freely given. Ryuichi wasn't really that promiscuous. For all his blatant flirting he was still rather choosy and reasonably discreet. Being in the public eye as Nittle Grasper ensured that he was, and he had had no intention of damaging things for Noriko and Tohma just to satisfy his own primal urges. He had been more than aware that he couldn't afford to alienate the public with any behaviour that was considered to be too socially unacceptable, not when they were working so hard to be successful. That hadn't meant that he had been chaste either, but he had leant how to ensure that the public wasn't quite so aware of it.

So he was no stranger to physical intimacy, no stranger to the joys of the flesh but it had always been by his choice and at his time. Now…now it was being taken from him.

The hands continued to tug and stroke, and unwillingly he felt his body responding. With no will of his own and no control over his physical form it was responding on a purely instinctual impulse to the stimulation. This only made him cry harder as he felt himself being brought quickly and roughly to climax.

He felt the shudder that ran though his body and the feel of hot liquid splatter across his stomach then the hands left his body. He felt relief they were gone, glad they had left him alone. His mind began to retreat into darkness again, seeking that small solace. As he felt himself drifting away, his mind fogging, he heart in the distance a faint clicking sound but had no time to determine what it was as he fully lost consciousness.

Again he didn't know how long he had remained unconscious, it could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days. When next he awoke he felt far more normal, his mind wasn't as foggy as the drugs slowly burnt out of his system. Now he could feel his body with all the aches and bruises that it had, from his ankles, knees and legs in general, to what appeared to be pulled muscles around his upper chest and shoulders. He winced as he tried to move and found that he was once more clothed although whether they were his own or not, he couldn't tell.

He was still in darkness, no light penetrating at all as he turned his head all around to try and see if there was anything he had missed. Nothing. His hands were once more bound, this time before him, at present stretched out above his head where he lay. He tugged experimentally and found they were tied to something. He slowly moved his aching legs, drawing himself onto his knees and off his side, tugging again with his hand and following the tether until he reached the joining where the chain was locked to the wall.

He spread his hands over the wall. The feel under his fingertips was that of concrete, cold and slightly clammy. He shivered realizing now that he was more than a little cold. He had previously been dressed in light weight clothing as befitted the warm day when he and Tohma had chosen to go out. It was not suitable for his cold and dank environment.

He sat there for a moment, feeling the cold seep though his buttocks and chill his still bare feet. Finally he began to move, stretching to the extent of his leash, making a semi-circle until it brought him back to the wall where he had begun on the opposite side. He had found nothing on this short exploration except once when he heard the crinkle of plastic as his hands encountered something wrapped nearby. He was almost afraid to touch it, fearful of what it might contain as his captor thus far seemed to have been intent on keeping him isolated with nothing else being left in his vicinity, but curiousity and a need to feel _something_ made him stretch out shaking hands and draw it closer.

He ran his hands over the parcel, feeling the soft lumps protruding through the plastic and searched until he found the opening, reaching in and pulling out what lay inside. It was soft and round as his fingers traced the outline – a body, a head, arms and legs. He tugged on what could only be floppy ears, a hand found the face and the cold button eyes. A smile stretched his stiff face as he continued to touch the toy. It had been Noriko's present. For some reason it was still here with him.

He absently pulled both front paws up, bringing them together as though in a prayer position. _Well, it's just you and me_, Ryuichi directed mentally to the unseen creature, arranging it so it was sitting on his knee. _At least you're lucky. You're covered in fur and not freezing your arse off like me!_

He jiggled the toy a little, wondering what to do next. He had no idea where he was, or why he was here. He tried to keep the fear at bay, hardly believing that this was even happening to him.

Tohma, he kept focusing on, hugging the toy tighter to his chest. _Tohma_, he called out silently. He had faith in his friend. Tohma would never let him down, he would never abandon him. If there was one thing in the world that Ryuichi believed in more firmly than anything else was his friend.

He suddenly heard a scuff in the darkness and froze. As he listened it came again and he realized he wasn't alone at all. He peered into the darkness, trying to pierce the inky blackness and see what was beyond, what was hiding from his view, but he couldn't. The darkness would not reveal its secrets.

The soft sound continued and he swung his head from side to side, trying to pinpoint from which direction it was coming but it was impossible. His heart was thumping painfully in his chest making his ribs ache. He squeezed the toy still held in his hands tightly, trying to take comfort from its meager softness, trying to cling to this small and only contact with his life before. He had no where to run, could not run. He was trapped.

The panic continued to rise. He hadn't ever really been afraid of anything before, always he had believed he could do anything and would charge headlong into things where more prudent minds, such as Tohma, would hesitate. But he had never been concerned about that, never feared the unknown. He was used to seeing fear from others, sometimes directed at him with his head strong behaviour, but that had never bothered him either.

But now – now he felt fear; cloying, stinking, strangling fear, that squeezed the breath from his lungs and choked him, making his body quake and sweat, yet chilling him to the bone.

His inability to see his captor or his surroundings, his weakness in being unable to identify where that person might be, worrying that they could be close, even behind him and he could not tell - this weakness almost paralyzed him. Never had he felt himself have so little control over his life and his own person. His captor was stripping away his defenses, stripping away his strength and leaving him with nothing, completely powerless. Ryuichi had never experienced that before.

Fearfully he scrabbled backwards following the chain until he felt the damp, cold wall pressing against his spine, ears still straining to hear the sounds in the darkness. Was that breathing he could hear? Was that the sound of a footstep? He squeezed tighter to the toy, struggling to hold onto something stable.

A feeling of displacement of air near his face made him frantically swat at it with his hands but his flailing arms met no resistance. Had he jus imagine it that something had come close? The sweat was chilling on his face. He scrubbed his sweaty palms against the soft toy in his hands, refusing to let go. The darkness pressed down on him, wrapping around, servant to the master who held him prisoner.

Suddenly he felt one ankle grabbed. With a yell he kicked out with his other foot, feeling it connect solidly for a moment before it too was captured and held and then he screamed out again as he felt the prick of a needle entering his flesh. Almost immediately his struggles weakened, lethargy griping his limbs although his eyes did not close nor did he lose consciousness this time, for which he would later curse all the gods for taking away that merciful blessing.

For it was then that his nightmare truly began.

Tohma breathed in deeply, raising his hands slowly in concert with the slow inhalation. He held it for a moment, eyes closed and inwardly focused. He cleared his mind, letting all thoughts evaporate, concentrating only on the feel of his own body.

Slowly he released his breath, exhaling in a steady, even flow, slowly lowering his hands at the same time until they had retuned to the position by his side. He did this four more times, never hurrying, never letting his concentration waver, maintaining his focus. The feel of the crispness of the early morning air on his face did not distract him. Instead he took it into himself until it simply became part of him and he was a part of the world around him.

He maintained this sense of unity when he opened his eyes and stepped forward with a measured and controlled step, placing the foot precisely, arms and body flowing smoothly into position, every motion, every action, his mind and body in perfect concert.

He continued the long familiar pattern, a pattern that he had been doing all his life, a pattern that stretched back through hundreds of years, thousands, simply in slightly different forms. He was one with this pattern, letting it move him where it was required, move through him, not controlling him but in the way a friend or lover would hold your hand and step in time with you in perfect harmony.

Tohma had no sense of time, time meant nothing in the pattern. The pattern was all there was. It would begin and end when it would end, time was nothing more than a constraint of the human making and this pattern could not be bound by such shackles.

His mind remained clear, crystallizing into a clarity that was almost uncanny. He could hear all the sounds around him; the not so distant hum of traffic, the sound of doors slamming, the sounds of people, the bird calls, the sound of water, the distant squeak of bicycles. All these sounds from his surroundings flowed through him as his body moved, never disrupting but taken in and becoming one with him.

As he continued the slow steady movements his breathing remained steady as well, perfectly matching each other. His eyes saw the world around him but none of it was disturbing. He continued on and as he finally came to the end he returned to his original position.

Slowly he raised his hands as he inhaled, holding it, closing his eyes, letting everything flow through and out of him, then slowly lowered his hands as he exhaled once more. A second time, and when he returned his hands to their position he opened his eyes, and for a moment just stood there.

Now he let himself become far more focused on his surroundings and to the purely physical aspects that were around him, stepping back from the meta-physical world he had only just recently occupied. He could see the cyclists and walkers on the paths, saw the water birds on the lake, could see the buildings edging the park stretching to the sky. He also could sense the presence of someone behind him, knew they had arrived at some point during the pattern but had dismissed them at the time until it was necessary to deal with them. Now he took another deep breath, not the measured inhalation of before but just an ordinary deep breath, smelling the freshness of the morning air.

"Do you do this everyday?" the person behind him spoke.

Tohma turned and walked a couple of steps to pick up a small hand towel from where it lay over his sports bag. He wiped his face quickly before answering. "Where I can," he said, looking at the man for the first time. "Have you found out anything?"

Jim leant against the tree, not bothering to move. "Come on," he just said, pushing away. "I'll shout you breakfast." Tohma didn't bother pressing him further, just picked up his bag and followed.

They sat in a small café just on the outskirts of Central Park. Jim picked up his coffee and took a deep long gulp. Tohma could see the dark circles under his eyes, and the slight greyness of his skin which indicated a severe lack of sleep.

"When was the last time you slept?" he asked, sipping his own.

Jim shrugged, "I managed to grab a bit at the office last night."

"Kerryn wouldn't be too happy with that surely?" Tohma queried. "I'm sure she would be much happier if you were home."

Jim grimaced and rubbed a hand over his blood-shot eyes. "No, she's not particularly happy with me at the moment but she does understand." A small twinkle of faint amusement touched his eyes. "She's pretty worried about Ryuichi too, you know. Remember, she's a big fan of Nittle Grasper. After that concert and party it was all she could talk about for days!"

"I'm glad she liked it," Tohma said with a smile. He had liked Jim's fiancée and had had the chance to meet her briefly twice since the after tour party she and Jim had attended.

"Huh!" Jim snorted. "Liked it? She was the envy of all her friends so much they were just about spitting chips!" He mock shuddered. "It's scary being around a bunch of females in that state – real scary!" Tohma just smiled.

"Anyway," Jim continued. "I don't really mind, it's just a little surprising that's all. Generally she's as level-headed as they come, but where you're concerned she just goes all ga-ga. Anyone would think she was sixteen again!"

"I'm sure she would have been a very delightful sixteen year old," Tohma responded.

Jim waved that comment aside. "Yeah, I'm sure she was too, but hell! When she gets a bee in her bonnet there's no stopping her!"

"Like what?" Tohma was more than a little curious.

"Well, I've had to let her put up that damn poster you signed on the wardrobe door in the bedroom." Jim complained.

"That seems pretty tame." Tohma said, wondering why Jim would be making such a fuss about something so innocent.

"Only because I refused point blank to sleep in the room if she put it on the ceiling like she said she was going to do at first!"

Tohma chuckled, not knowing if Jim was really serious or not but enjoying the humour anyway. He was quite sure that Jim would be rather unnerved with having both he and Ryuichi starting down at him all night! "Iif that is all you have to contend with I think you can count yourself lucky." he said, smiling.

Jim groaned then. "But it's not just that! She wants me to grow my hair out longer like Ryuichi! She reckons it would look good on me."

Tohma eyed the man before him, making note of his bone structure and pursed his lips. There was no way that Jim would 'look' like Ryuichi, but a similar hairstyle would not actually look out of place on him either. "She may be right, you know." he said.

Jim glared back at him. "Don't you go encouraging her!" he stated firmly. "She's already given me the ultimatum that if I so much as end up with one bit of facial hair she's leaving me!"

"Well, that is understandable," Tohma said evenly. "It can be quite painful in tender areas of the body."

Jim froze with his cup halfway to his lips, as his eyes glazed whilst looking at the attractive man before him. For all Tohma was probably more good-looking than he had any right to be, had a body men would kill for, there was still nothing effeminate about him. He was probably the only man Jim had ever met who could pull off wearing feathers, fur and gloves even and not look like he was dressed in drag.

Still, that comment just now automatically made his mind spin out of control, making him imagine Tohma squirming uncomfortably because someone, and he refused to accept that the imaginary partner's body type resembled his own in anyway, rubbed a stubbled face over his…stomach.

He jerked his mind back from that vision and unfortunately Tohma's partner shifted and now was Ryuichi, and with those two together his vivid imagination had Ryuichi moving a lot lower than the previous image, and Tohma no longer had an expression of discomfort but one of pure ecstasy.

"ARGH!" he blurted out, setting his cup down so hard it slopped over the sides onto the table and scrubbing both hands violently through his hair as though trying to erase what was on the inside of his skull. That is what came from being over tired. A vivid imagination might be useful at times in detective work, but most certainly not in this particular case!

He saw Tohma looking at him with an expression of mild surprise, blond head tilted slightly to one side, looking far too innocent and unconcerned and nothing like the seductive Adonis in his vision. Jim glared and pointed an accusatory finger at him across the table. "It's all your fault!" he declared.

"And what might that be?" Tohma questioned mildly, not understanding what Jim appeared to be having a minor break-down over.

"You and that Ryuichi…..what you do on stage…..you….." Jim was almost stuttering in frustration.

Tohma appeared puzzled for a moment longer and then his eyes crinkled with laugher and a low chuckle escaped him as he guessed just what his new friend may have been thinking and he couldn't resist the impulse to tease him further. "Oh, so I gather your issue with facial hair didn't conjure up a lady's difficulties?"

The smarmy bastard, Jim fumed. He was actually smirking at his discomfort. How could he answer that question – that would be admitting that that was exactly the case and he would die before that happens!

Jim was as heterosexual as they come and had never had any doubts on that fact. He knew he personally had not interests in the 'other side', but he had to admit that Tohma and Ryuichi looked damn hot together - as long as that togetherness was kept right away from him! He was beginning to have nightmares, no daymares! When he started borrowing Kerryn's dresses and shoes then he'd know he was really in trouble!

He picked up his coffee and just gave Tohma an icy look which did nothing to erase the smug expression. Fuck him, Jim silently snarled.

"Anyway," He swiftly moved the conversation away from the dangerous direction it had been heading in. "This is what we've got so far."

Tohma immediately turned serious also and leant forward, resting elbows on the table.

"We've been doing some checking as you know. Some evidence had been found near where we think Ryuichi was snatched. A van had been seen parked there and there had been reports of it slowly driving through that area so it seems it may have been tracking you. The plates were traced but the vehicle had been recently sold and the address given is dead end. The name appears to have been an alias as well."

Jim took a sip of his drink and continued, "However, we did get a witness come forward, a delivery guy who got right up close to the van because it was blocking his loading bay and he gave a pretty good description of the guy."

He heard Tohma's intake of breath, and nodded. "Yep, it's a guy no doubt about it. Whether he's the same one who was writing all those weird letters we can't say for sure but that's neither here nor there at this time. At the moment we're been following the lead of the direction the van took when it left that location and been tracking its movement since. It's been spotted on some of the local road cameras so we've been tracing its path through them."

"So where has it taken us?" Tohma questioned intently.

"We've narrowed it down and been doing some scouting work. A van matching that description and at least a partial number pate match was spotted at a small factory outlet in the docks area. We're going to raid it tonight if all goes well."

"Can you just do that?" Tohma queried.

"We're fine. We've got due probable cause and enough surveillance to show that something's going on there. The warrants been okayed and we're getting the group together now."

Jim had no hesitation in telling Tohma all this. In the last five days he had proven a staunch and close-mouthed civilian, just as concerned, if not more so, in maintaining the secrecy around his friend's disappearance than the police were. Tohma would ensure that nothing on his part would endanger Ryuichi.

Jim was not feeling happy about the time that was ticking away, he held great fears for Ryuichi's safety. He had seen similar cases before in his career which had not ended well, and it was at those times that he would often doubt what use was he, and what difference was he making in any of it. He knew only too well that time was their enemy. Every day longer stretched the odds against Ryuichi's survival, every day longer may push his captor closer to the realization that he couldn't keep Ryuichi alive. Every day longer pushed the chance that Ryuichi's captor would grow bored with the game and choose to end it, or panic as the realization of what he had done and the enormity of it all sets in and the instinct to flee and self-preservation kicked in. In all those possibilities Ryuichi's life expectancy decreased dramatically.

Jim felt sick to the stomach at that thought. He might think Ryuichi was pretty damn weird but he wouldn't wish this scenario on even his worst enemy, let alone some hyperactive schizo who just acted sex-mad.

"Where is this happening precisely?" Tohma wanted to know.

Jim fixed him with a steely gaze. "No!" he said flatly. "I told you before that you are not getting into the mix of things. There's no way you're coming with us."

Tohma opened his mouth to argue when Jim stood abruptly, staring down at him. "Don't bother. I'll let you know once it's done," and he stalked out.

Tohma looked after him, watching as he disappeared into the morning crowd of pedestrians beginning to fill the sidewalk. He slowly turned his half full coffee mug around, watching the liquid whirl around the curve, creating a small whirlpool that seemed to mirror his own inner turmoil. He ceased the motion and reached out to pick up his bag and collect the bill from the table.

As he paid he considered his options. Obviously Jim was not going to tell him anything more so there was no point contacting him again. He would also get nothing from any of the rest of the task force, no matter how friendly they had been since his association with them. A lot of that was due to them having teenage children who were fans of Nittle Grasper and Tohma had promised to provide appropriate mementos after the case was closed.

Still despite this pact and the willingness they had all shown in accepting him into the group, he also knew that they bowed to Jim's authority as task leader. Jim may have been younger than many of them but they seemed to recognize his dedication and apparent expertise in co-ordinating and running this investigation. So no matter who he approached for information he knew he was unlikely receive anything more than a polite rebuttal.

He collected his change and left, walking swiftly to the subway to head back to his apartment. So if getting the information in a normal way was out he would have to take alternative means.

As he slipped his key in the lock and opened his door he sensed that he wasn't alone. Sure enough Noriko was perched on a stool at the kitchen counter, a steaming mug of tea before her.

She turned as he entered and looked him up and down. "I was beginning to think you'd been mugged or something you took so long. I was thinking I'd have to send out a search party." She flinched a little at her own words as they brought to mind only too clearly their present situation.

Tohma approached and slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently and felt her lean into his chest for a moment. "Sorry," he said sincerely.

She pushed away from him, standing strong again. "That's okay. So what's up? You're usually home by now."

Although Noirko had her own apartment she was more often than not at Tohma's now, and in any case she had a key to come and go as she pleased. This arrangement suited them both during this difficult time, each taking comfort from the other's presence, providing much needed support.

"I had breakfast with Jim." he said, pouring a glass of tea for himself.

Noriko just raised an eyebrow. "How did he know where you were?" she asked curiously.

Tohma smiled at her. "If he wasn't able to determine my usual morning routine I would hardly have any faith in his abilities as a detective, now would I?"

Noriko chuckled. "You're right! It wouldn't be too hard to figure that out, I suppose. So what did he want? Has he found something?"

She saw Tohma's brow crease a little. "What?!" she asked sharply.

Tohma gave a small grimace and leant on the counter top. "He said they've got a lead, a possible location where the vehicle that appears to have been used to take Ryuichi has been seen."

"And?" Noriko knew there must be more.

"He wouldn't tell me where," Tohma added.

Noriko pursed her lips and stared hard at him. "Well, you're hardly about to let a little thing like that deter you, are you?" she said quite calmly.

Tohma smiled at her. "Not at all,"

"Good!" she said decisively. "You make certain you're there. If Ryu's there, he's going to want to see you rather than a bunch of strangers!"

"He'd be glad to see you too," Tohma put in.

"I know, but I've got to keep this 'dog and pony show' that I've started going." She replied with a heavy sigh.

"How is that going?" Tohma queried. Occupied by his close involvement with Jim and the task force he had not kept up with Noriko's part of the deception.

She sighed tiredly. "You'd never believe just how hard it is to do all this," she complained. "The quiet wedding we had planned back home was gong to be easy, even with the huge reception we were going to hold afterwards to make up for it. But this!" She took a deep swallow of her tea, wrinkling her nose at the bitter dregs she had inadvertently swallowed. "This," she continued as Tohma thoughtfully refilled her cup. "is downright ridiculous!"

"Are you sure you want to continue with it?" Tohma asked, concerned for her. "You can stop now and just say you've changed your mind and go back to just a wedding in Japan."

"Yeah, right, and do you think there wouldn't immediately start to be focus back on you and Ryu?" she snorted as though he was being unusually stupid. "At the moment we can say that he is closeted away working on lyrics for a song for my wedding to explain his absence. I just say that I catch up with him out of sight and so far that is holding."

"But for how much longer?" Tohma wondered out loud.

Noriko reached over and poked him hard in the chest. "That is why you have to find him," she said firmly. "Besides, I want him to sing at my wedding!"

Tohma caught her hand and brought it to his lips to place a light kiss on the tips. "Your wish is my command."

"As if!" she said, snatching her hand back though her eyes gleamed with pleasure.

"So how is Tetsuya taking all this?" Tohma asked after Noriko's soon-to-be spouse.

"Oh, he's fine!" she replied off-handedly. "He's happy to go along with it for however long we need to."

The way she said it made Tohma believe that the love smitten Tetsuya Ukai would happily walk through the pits of hell if it made Noriko happy. He shook his head, still amazed by this seeming odd couple yet they still seemed so happy. He hoped that he would find himself that happy some day.

"So what's your next step?" Noriko asked.

"I will have to go and see if I can trail Jim to where this raid is to be." he replied

"Oooh, a stakeout! How exciting!" Noriko bubbled, clapping her hands.

Tohma matched her grin. "It does all sound a little melodramatic, doesn't it?" he conceded.

"True," Then Noriko sobered. "Until you remember just how serious it is."

The sudden switch in mood darkened the atmosphere immediately. No mater how they tried to stay positive, tried not to dwell on their fears and worries, they were never far way.

"Well, I'm off!" Noriko suddenly announced, standing and heading for the door. She looked back as she opened it, her face still serious. "Be careful," she cautioned.

Tohma treated her plea with the seriousness it deserved, replying, "I will."

She gave a brisk nod and left.

He stood there for a moment longer and then looked at his watch. It was now midmorning and he had to think carefully about his plan of attack for the day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** Implied violence, deprivation of liberty, implied rape and torture.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

Author's Note: Thank you for being so patient with me. I know it's been a while since I've updated this, and also my other Gravitation stories. The muse has been happily playing in other sandboxes for a while so it really hasn't been coming up with much for Gravitation lately. However, I haven't abandoned these stories completely. The muse usually decides to wander back at some point so they will be finished – I just can't say 'when'!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Kerryn Middleton; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

Unchained Memories: Chapter 9

Jim stood there and just let the water run over him, savouring the warmth as it slowly seeped into aching limbs, feeling tired muscles begin to relax. He dropped his head, closing his eyes, letting it cascade down past his face, falling in riverlets to the tiles below. It felt so good to feel clean again. It had seemed like forever since he had been able to do more than just wash his face.

He lathered his body once more, still feeling grimy although he'd already washed thoroughly once. As he scrubbed his red skin once more the faint smell of sandalwood rose into the air. At least it wasn't roses or lavender, he thought. He'd never live it down if he turned up to the station smelling like that!

Finally, with one last rinse and a reluctant sigh, he turned off the taps, stepping out of the shower to grab the large towel folded on the rail nearby.

The heat lamps overhead maintained a comfortable temperature as he tiredly rubbed his wet hair, finding it a major effort to keep his arms raised and wanting nothing more than just to lay down and sleep for the next twenty-four hours.

"You look tired," a quiet voice said.

He lifted the towel edge so he could see from under it to find Kerryn standing in the doorway in the process of clipping on an earring. She was dressed smartly in a business suit, tailored skirt and buttoned jacket, face discreetly made-up, obviously ready for a day's work.

"I am," he admitted, continuing on with his ablutions. He gave his head one last rub and proceeded to work on his body. He wasn't embarrassed to be standing naked before Kerryn. How could he be when they lived together and had for some years? She had already seen him at his best, and most certainly his worst, so just being naked was nothing.

He wrapped the towel tightly around his waist, raking fingers through his damp hair, before rubbing it over his stubbled chin, the sharp bristles scratching at his palm. He sighed, leaning on the counter top for a moment. Guess that was the next job on his list.

"Hurry up, lazy," Kerryn said. "Come on down when you're finished. Coffee's ready." She stepped in with a small smile and brushed a kiss over his cheek before turning to leave.

He sighed deeply again. He was tired, dead tired. He looked at the face that greeted him in the mirror, complete with deep frown lines that marred the brow and dark circles that shadowed the dull eyes.

Jim Harris, he addressed himself silently, you look like shit. The reflection made no reply and he let out a soft snort before opening the vanity mirror to find his shaving gear.

He grimaced as he began the lathering process. His electric shaver he kept at the station for ease of use at the moment and he'd never gotten around to buying a second to replace it at home. So due to that he was back to shaving the old fashion way; cream and blade. Not that he really minded. He actually thought that this method gave a closer shave than the electric but it was more time consuming.

He winced a little as he nicked himself. That is why, as he dabbed at the small bead of blood, it took more time. If you tried to rush it or didn't pay enough attention you were liable to cut your throat. Still, he couldn't bear to leave it until he returned to the station to use the electric razor. One thing he was always adamant about was that immediately after a shower in the morning he would shave. It was like a ritual, but for some reason it always made him feel a hell of a lot better.

He leant over and splashed the water over his face, rinsing the last of the lather away. Straightening up, he checked himself. No, everything looked fine. He gave his face one last pat then turned to head back into the bedroom, turning off the light behind him.

He made his way directly to the wardrobe, reaching in and pulling out fresh clothes, ignoring the discarded ones on the floor where he had tossed them as he had stripped on his way to the shower. There was no way he was going to crawl back into them after practically sleeping in them for the past nearly forty-eight hours. The mere thought of it made his skin crawl with disgust.

As he dressed, his nose twitched as the aroma of freshly brewed coffee reached him, making him salivate. Coffffeeeee, his mind chanted at him. His stomach growled in its urgent need and his fingers fumbled doing up his shirt buttons in his sudden haste. He may have had a cup of that beverage with Tohma earlier but that was the usual weak instant coffee that many of the cafes produced and did nothing to ease his real craving. He needed his coffee!

Grabbing another jacket, he made his way quickly to the kitchen, throwing it over the back of a chair near the front door so he would remember it when he left.

Kerryn turned as he entered and he wisely forwent his baser desire to make straight for the caffeine and instead went over to give her a proper greeting by way of a kiss and hug. He hadn't wanted to subject her to that when he had first returned home in his sweaty, dirty, dishevelled state. She had already previously made her stance on facial hair more than clear and he knew she wouldn't have appreciated his greeting in that condition.

She smiled and returned the welcome enthusiastically and if he wasn't as tired as he was he would have been very tempted to drag her back into the bedroom. However, in his current state, that would probably be just wishful thinking.

"Sit down and eat something," she ordered, pushing him towards a chair.

He did as he was told whilst she dished up a cooked breakfast, placing it before him. He didn't generally go for something so heavy first thing in the morning but after a grueling couple of days of non-stop work, usually with poor food, it was truly heaven to have a decent meal finally in his belly.

Kerryn poured two cups of coffee, placing one in front of Jim and sitting opposite to sip her own.

"Thanks," he mumbled around a mouthful.

"You're welcome," She dimpled back, reaching out to pinch a cut piece of sausage on his plate.

"Hey!" He swatted at her with his knife in mock anger.

She just continued to smile at him as she chewed, washing it down with a sip of coffee. He knew she would have already had her breakfast; a healthy muesli with yoghurt and fresh fruit. She said she was trying to watch her weight in readiness for their wedding, not that he thought she needed to. He liked her just the way she was and really couldn't see what all the fuss was about. But when he had tried to say as much he'd been fixed with a steely glare and informed that she would be watching her weight and he wisely decided that he would say no more about it.

Since she had already eaten he knew she was only picking at the food to keep him company. It had been like this since they had first met so she was used to the fact that there would be times that she wouldn't see much of him. There were only these brief moments that they could snatch together when he would return to change before leaving again and before she left for work also. He was really grateful for her understanding and preparedness to spend these moments with him, even though it usually meant that she would be late in for work.

"How's it going?" she asked, sipping her coffee and watching him with clear grey eyes.

"Okay," he said. He didn't usually discuss his cases with Kerryn. It wasn't just because he generally wanted to spare her the more gruesome details of many of them but it was also due to the issue of confidentiality. Not that he was really concerned that she would pass any information on that she shouldn't, but it just made sure that no-one could accuse he and his for any leak there might be which there could be at anytime.

However this case was a little different from the norm. Kerryn knew Ryuichi, she knew Noriko and she knew Tohma. He had already spoken to her about the hate mail that Ryuichi had received, not realizing at the time that it was likely to escalate as it had. She had been quick enough to pick up when things had gone wrong, and it hadn't been too hard for her to figure out who was involved, not when Tohma had sometimes called him when he was with her so she had known to whom he was speaking.

On top of that, the sudden furour over Noriko's upcoming wedding had apparently triggered warning bells that only a female had, something about knowing that that wasn't what Noriko would have done under normal circumstances. He hadn't quite understood it. It might not have had any logic that he could follow but it obviously still lead directly to the conclusion she had come to that something serious had happened to Ryuichi Sakuma.

So he had given into her pleas to at least know a little about what was happening and told her that Ryuichi was missing with the search now underway. She had been horrified at hearing this, knowing enough about how many of such cases turned out from her time as a girlfriend of a detective that she wasn't deceived into thinking that it always turned out for the best. However, she didn't press him any further for details, simply asking that he let her know how things were going in general, be it good or bad. He had agreed to that, it was enough for her to know

"Are you any closer?" she queried, not wanting to push but obviously worried.

"Perhaps," he said cautiously. "We'll know more tonight."

He could see her thinking on what he had just said, no doubt figuring out that he would be involved in a raid and unlikely to be home tonight. That was one of the things that made it so easy for him to live with Kerryn. She was able to quickly put information together from the little things he said and understand generally what was happening. It saved him trying to find ways to explain everything when he wasn't able to, and also helped lessen misunderstandings between them.

"Hmm," She sipped at her coffee again. "I hope it goes well then." she said in a firm voice, catching his eye.

"Me too," he agreed.

She stood and refilled his empty cup with more steaming coffee, but instead of returning to her seat she slid her arms around his neck from behind to hug him.

He paused in his eating. "What's that for?" he questioned although he really wasn't complaining.

"I knew you would have forgotten." Her voice was tinged with laughter.

"Forgotten what?" He craned his neck around, trying to see her.

She laughed out loud and placed a small wrapped box on the table beside his cup. "Here."

He stared at it in confusion until he felt Kerryn press her lips against his cheek and whisper, "Happy birthday, love", then he felt his cheeks grow hot.

Swiveling in his chair he reached out and snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her down onto his lap. He cupped her face and pressed his lips against hers, holding her in a deep warm gentle kiss. When he broke it and gazed up into her smiling face he felt his heart swell with joy as she reached out and lightly touched his face. He was so lucky.

"So are you going to open it?" she asked, poking him in the chest with one well manicured finger.

"Okay, okay," he said, reaching out to pick up the gift without releasing his hold on her.

She wriggled delightfully on his lap so she could see better what he was doing. He carefully pulled the tape aside, trying not to tear the paper.

"Hurry up, will you?" Kerryn said, almost bouncing in frustration.

"Hey, just whose present is this?" he said, unable to resist smiling at her impatience.

He took pity on her and ripped the paper completely away to reveal the ornate box inside.

"So what is it?" he asked looking at her

"You're supposed to open it for find out, silly," she said tartly.

He reached around her and took a good grip on the box with both hands and popped the catch, lifting the lid. He gaped at the object inside.

"Well, do you like it?" she asked when the silence had stretched on.

He took the object out to examine it further, admiring it. "It's great." he said with feeling. He looked up at her smiling "It's perfect."

She searched his face and then returned his smile when she could see that he was telling the truth, relief in her eyes.

She reached out and took the silver lighter from his hands and pointed at the etching. "See, I had them engrave this on it. It's an ivy garland, with holly."

"What's it mean?" he asked peering more closely at the design. He had just thought it was a standard pattern not something important.

"Ivy symbolizes marriage, whilst holly is for protection. I asked my grandmother in Ireland about it. I wanted to find something I could put on that wasn't as tacky as putting our initials on it.

"Thought you wanted me to give up?" he said.

She slipped from his lap, taking the time to smooth her skirt and pat her hair back in place. "Well I do, but I know you won't just yet. However," She fixed him with her patented icy glare. "Just remember your promise that you'll give up when we have children."

"I promise," he confirmed smiling at her.

She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. "I've got to go," She leant down and kissed his cheek. "Be careful." she said

"I will," he replied

"We'll have a proper celebration for you after all this is over."

"I'll be looking forward to it. Have a good day."

"You too," and she dashed out the door.

He gulped down the last of his cold coffee and stood up, clearing all the dishes from the table and placing them in the dishwasher. He had to get going as well.

Turning, he picked up the lighter, opening it and giving one flick. The flame flared up first time. He gazed at it fondly. How like Kerryn to give him a present that was exactly what he would like, even though it was something that she might not completely approve of.

He pushed it into his pocked, then grabbed his keys and left the apartment, his mind immediately filling with all that he had to accomplish. It was going to be long day.

-oOo-

Tohma waited in the shadows, slumped down in the seat of the hire car he sat in. He was parked toward the back of the police station, near the car park so he could observe any comings and goings from the building. It had been a long wait already.

He had come here almost immediately after speaking with Noriko, leaving his apartment whilst it was still morning, and making his way back to the police station. He had caught the subway, rarely bothering to drive in the city unless there was a need and planning on being as innocuous as possible. To that end he had dressed in his most subdued clothing that he had; an old pair of faded jeans with one ripped knee (he had forewent the ones with the more enticing rips placed strategically at the back of the thighs), a plain dark t-shirt and plaid shirt. To complete his wardrobe was a baseball cap, with his blond hair tucked up well inside, and dark sunglasses.

He had settled himself down at a table by the window of the small burger place from which he could watch the rear gate to the station's car park, carefully scanning the area to be sure he was not seen by anyone else from the station who might recognise him. The last thing he needed now was to be seen and that reported back to Jim and remaining in an eatery so close to the station was a bit of a danger. It seemed that policemen always seemed to be hungry.

As the time ticked on he sipped at the watery coffee he had purchased and picked at the cooling fries spread out on the tray before him, keeping a close eye on the area outside, still making plans in his head.

The fry paused half way to his mouth as he saw Jim arrive some time later, his familiar car slowing at the gate and showing his ID to the guard there before swiping it over the reader, waiting for the gates to slowly open. Tohma strained his eyes across the distance, losing sight of the vehicle as it navigated to find a parking spot, then just managed to spy Jim as he mounted the steps to enter through the rear door of the station. He noticed Jim was wearing different clothes to what he had been in earlier that morning. Obviously he had taken the time to return home for a quick refresher. Tohma felt pleased about that. Jim truly hadn't been looking well lately and he felt concern for his new friend.

He watched Jim disappear into the building and made up his mind. He stood and left immediately, heading for the nearest hire car company that he had already looked up in the phone book before leaving his apartment earlier. It took but a moment for him to hire a vehicle, although he did have to spend some time convincing the staff that he did not require an upgrade and just wished to remain with the cheapest, smallest car they had available. He had been a little nervous as they had scrutinized his international license and passport, as well as his insurance documents for good measure, but fortunately none of them appeared to be Nittle Grasper fans so they did not recognise either him or his name. He didn't breathe a sigh of relief until he sat in the car, hire agreement in hand and was able to drive out of the lot.

He made his way back to the station, carefully parking a little down the street and walking the block to the station. There next step was to check if he had managed to miss Jim. He was Tohma's only lead on what was happening tonight and he couldn't afford to lose track of him now. Upon going inside he calmly enquired if Jim was present, to be told that he was but was unavailable. He smiled and politely refused the offer of any other assistance or a message being left and instead returned to his car. He wasn't too late.

So now he waited, and had been for some time already as the sun slowly crept across the sky towards the west.

He sat up a little, eyes fixed on the distant activity in the yard he was watching. As he watched a few people exited the rear doors, bags were being carried, some large, some small, all being deposited in various vehicles. These comings and goings continued for a time more, then ceased as a number of people now simply stood and appeared to be speaking with each other. However, soon he was rewarded with the sight of Jim himself walking down the rear steps, waving a hand to the group of people who dispersed immediately, before he stepped into the back of dark van.

As Tohma watched, the van and three other vehicles, all unmarked, pulled out of the yard and smoothly merged with the traffic streaming along the street.

Tohma started his engine swiftly and followed, not wanting to lose sight of the convoy. Once he had once again gained a visual on the vehicles he made certain to hang back a little so as not to be too obvious. However he watched carefully to ensure that no larger vehicles pulled in front of him, thus blocking his view of his prey.

They navigated the streets of New York slowly, gradually moving into the suburbs, and Tohma continued to follow. He knew it was going to get trickier now. The traffic was thinning and he was concerned that the drivers in the convoy would be alert enough to notice the same vehicle behind them for all this time and become suspicious. He couldn't afford to make any mistakes at this time, so he pulled back further, even going so far as to park up for a time and allow them to draw even further ahead on a long straight road before setting off again.

Finally he saw the vehicles slow almost to a stand still before they all began peeling off down different side streets until only the van remained on the street they had been originally travelling. Tohma stayed with the van as it contained Jim. Where Jim went, he was sure to find Ryuichi. Due to this change in activity he guessed they must be close to their location and he could feel his heart begin to race with anticipation.

Sure enough, only another block after the last of the other cars had left, the van slowed and eased into a parking area, blending into the lines of vehicles already present.

Tohma didn't follow it, instead going past for another couple of blocks before doubling back and parking in behind another stationary vehicle by the kerb so he was mostly hidden from view but could still see the van. He guessed that somewhere around here was the place Jim had said they would raid so he settled down to wait again as the shadows lengthened further with the setting sun.

Ryuichi he thought, hold on. I'm coming.

-oOo-

Ryuichi was still in the dark.

Everything was dark; the air, the sound, his mind, his heart. There was nothing but the dark. His whole world was nothing but darkness now. He could no longer remember what light was. It was just the darkness.

The only thing that wasn't dark was the softness he held in his hands.

He pressed his face into that warmth, the only warm thing there was in this cold, dark place that he crouched in. His stomach growled again, this time cramping a little harder than before.

His eyes leaked tears. It hurt. It had been hurting for a while now, each time a little worse than before. Everything hurt.

"I'm hungry," he said out loud, startling himself.

He quickly covered his mouth with the warm fur again and listened fearfully. Had he awakened it?

He strained his ears, trying to hear through the thick darkness. Nothing. The demon didn't come. He hadn't come for some time now. At least Ryuichi didn't think he had. Perhaps it hadn't been that long.

Slowly he eased the fur away from his mouth and took a shuddering breath. "It's all right," he whispered more cautiously, still cringing a little at the way the soft sounds seemed so loud as though they were echoing off the walls surrounding him. "You don't have to worry, Kumagoro."

He smoothed the rumpled fur, wiping away the slight dampness of the area that had been pressed against his lips, enjoying the soft feel of the fur on his chilled hands. He couldn't suppress the shiver that shook his body.

"It's so cold," he said softly.

He had learnt that he only felt colder if he leant against the walls of his cage, as though they sought to leech all the heat from his body like some form of alien parasite. Now he only remained sitting in what he thought was the centre of this world he was now forced to inhabit, curling into a tight ball on the ground when exhaustion forced him to sleep, Kumagoro held tightly to his chest.

"You are so lucky," he continued speaking, his hands unerringly finding the long floppy ears and running gently down their lengths, first one, then the other. Even in this darkness he always knew where Kumagoro was and every part of him. Not that he ever let him go now.

At the beginning he had put Kumagoro down once as he had searched this place. After he had determined that there was nothing he could do he had returned and reached down to where he had thought he had placed the toy, only for his hand to be met with nothing more than dampness and cold.

The wave of panic that had struck him had made it hard for him to breathe, seeming to stop all such mechanics. Then his breathing had returned, but each gasp caught in his throat as though trying to choke him, growing faster and faster.

He had anxiously begun to search, crawling on hands and knees over the uneven ground, ignoring the scrapes and bruises on his knees and hands as his fingers frantically scrabbled across the surface; searching…searching…searching. Tears were leaking from his eyes continuously as he sobbed harder and harder; crying, calling, pleading.

When his hand had finally touched that lost softness he had collapsed, desperately drawing it towards him, curling around it, squeezing it so tightly it practically flattened out completely as he held it against his body, burying his face into the fur as he continued to sob and wail; eyes stinging with tears, nose blocked so it was hard to breathe, chest hurting so much as though his frantically beating heart had bruised it inside.

From that moment on he had never released his hold on Kumagoro. He would never let him go again.

He continued to stroke his friend when his hand paused for a moment. "What?" Ryuichi asked, leaning against the head. "I should have fur too? Well, yes, I would like that because it would be nice and warm, but I don't. Tohma wouldn't like it either."

He paused again, as though listening, then shook his head. "Oh, no, I don't mean that Tohma would be horrible to me. He just likes me the way I am. Besides, he looks far better in fur than me. Feathers too."

A moment of silence again.

"You think so? I would look good with fur? Honestly? That's so nice of you. Hey, Kumagoro, let's sing a song! Do you know any? You don't? That's okay, I'll teach you."

He leant in close again, lifting one floppy ear to whisper very softly. "But we'll have to be very quiet so we don't wake the demon, okay?"

The darkness was all encompassing here in this place. Nothing disturbed it, nothing more than very distant sounds of water breaking upon the silence.

That and the soft sing-song voice drifting through the tunnels.

-oOo-

Tohma had sat still all the rest of the afternoon, struggling to stay awake at times as the hours had dragged on. It was at times like this that Tohma wished that he had thought just a little bit more ahead and brought a flask of hot coffee. At least it would have helped him be more alert.

The van remained where it was, still and silent, no movement of any sort around it in all this time. Some of the cars in the parking lot had left, others had arrived as their owners had come and gone with the changes in the day, but the van remained the same. It was well into the night before Tohma spied some stealthy movement near the object of his stakeout.

He focused his tired eyes on the area around the van and could now see that what he was observing were shadowy figures moving carefully toward the warehouse across the road. He remained where he was in his vehicle, making no effort to move in case anyone noticed him, forcing them to abort their intended mission. So he just continued to watch and see just where they were going.

The group sidled carefully up to the front door of the building. Yes, that was definitely their target for tonight.

For a moment the group seemed to pause and then there was the sliver of light indicating that a door must have been opened. It remained cracked open for a only a short time before closing again with no dark figures left on the pavement.

Once they were gone from Tohma's view, he carefully slipped from his car, first ensuring that the interior light was off and would not give away his position, and then keeping to the shadows made his way swiftly around the block to the back of the building. He had to make certain he was close by when they found Ryuichi.

He ran lightly on the balls of his feet, his sneakers making little noise. As he rushed past his eyes noted the registration of a vehicle he passed. As he had suspected, it was one of the other vehicles in the police convoy parked here at the side of the target location. He guessed the others had parked on the other street quadrants also.

As he drew closer to where he guessed the back door could be of the building he was seeking, the night was suddenly shattered by rapid gunfire, shouts, screams, and the sound of breaking glass.

Despite the shock of the unexpected sounds he didn't stop. Instead he increased his speed, running now with all his might. He rushed forward, concerned that Ryuichi could be caught in the middle of all this mayhem and might be hurt.

He kept running. He was completely confused by this sudden violence. He had this would be nothing more than just a simple routine matter of the police walking in, waving their warrant and conducting a search, all very quiet and civilized. He thought they were just pursing one kidnapper, although he now recalled Jim mentioning that there seemed to be the presence of others here also, still he hadn't expected this level of resistance or retaliation. His stomach began to churn with worry.

He had just reached the direct back of the building where large roller doors stood pried open, allowing the light from inside to spill out. He could still hear the sounds of shooting from inside although it seemed to be decreasing.

As he paused there for a moment, wondering if he should just rush right in or try and head up the fire escape to one side and maybe avoid the worst of whatever battle was underway within the interior, when a figure suddenly burst through the gap in the doors, running directly towards him.

As the person briefly entered the dim light thrown by the street lights above, Tohma saw the man held a gun, with what appeared to be blood covering his face. The man screamed some obscenity at him which he didn't catch and still continued straight towards him.

Another movement drew Tohma's eyes away from the oncoming figure. Over the running man's shoulder, Toham saw another person exit the building at a run, pelting forward, every movement speaking of desperation.

"Tohma!" he heard shouted, and recognized Jim's voice. "Get out of here!"

-oOo-

Jim's heart was in his mouth almost choking him except he couldn't afford to let that happen as he needed to continue to gulp air into his lungs as he pounded after his quarry.

From the moment they had stealthily entered the warehouse and saw the activities being carried out for the first time he realized they had been so very wrong in their assumptions for this raid.

Well, not really wrong. They had been completely correct in that what was occurring here was highly suspect and definitely illegal. What they had been wrong about was that it had nothing to do with finding Ryuichi Sakuma.

He motioned to one of his men, silently signaling for him to return to the van and call for back-up. Jim knew that what they had here could be far bigger than they could handle and he needed to sit tight until the odds were further in their favour. He sent another of his men off to join up with the group coming in from the back of the building to tell them to wait as well.

He watched what was occurring for a moment longer, knowing that one of his men was ensuring that he was capturing it all on video camera as possible evidence later on. His fingers itched in the way that they would when he was so close to a bust but not yet able to act. It was nothing more than a nervous reaction but it had become a bit of a joke between the boys at the station about his 'itchy' trigger finger.

He glanced around, peering towards the back. He couldn't see any of his people yet and was beginning to worry a little when a shadow appeared to detach itself from the wall on the upper level and motion to him briefly. He followed the movement down with his eyes and made out the rest of the team secreting themselves in cover. He breathed a sigh. Good, they were in place and settling in to sit it out.

He scratched at his fingers absently and tried to not check his watch for what seemed like the twentieth time. It hadn't been that long and it would take some time for the nearest station to mobilize some people.

Suddenly he saw one of the people in the warehouse he had been observing begin to move towards the corner, directly where one of his men was hiding. He ground his teeth as he watched, his heart pounding. Turn away, turn away, go somewhere else damnit!, he thought hard at the suspect, trying to will him away from his intended destination.

Fate was not smiling on him this time. The man made no detour and walked directly to where the officer had been crouched with no where else he could go. The suspect let out a loud shout, hand diving beneath his jacket, only to spin suddenly and collapse just as the sharp report of a gunshot echoed through the building.

There was a moment of complete stillness as though the entire tableau had frozen, both criminals and police alike. Then all hell broke loose!

Jim and his men took cover as the criminals drew weapons of all shapes and sizes. Those in the open in the middle of the warehouse immediately made for cover, diving for dark corner, outer offices, seeing cover where they could. They had the advantage of knowing this area thoroughly, although Jim's team had managed to gain some small benefit in having secured the higher ground for the moment. However he knew that he still needed that back up for in any fire fight there would be casualties and it was rarely all just on one side.

The bullets continued to fly, splinters of wood spinning through the air as the projectiles ploughed into stacked crates.

"Shit!" Jim heard beside him and turned for a moment to see one of his bed crouching down, a hand clapped over one side of his face as blood seeped between his fingers.

"Let me see!" Jim ducked down and drew the hand away. A wood splinter had slashed the man's face, coming dangerously close to the eye.

"Get out of here!" Jim ordered him. He saw the man's chin jut out and cut the refusal short. "Do it! You're no good to me in that state!" A little harsh perhaps, but the truth. With his vision impeded the officer would unlikely be able to accurately shoot and that might leave him vulnerable to further attack.

The officer grudgingly nodded and began to move away when with a sharp cry another man fell backwards clasping one arm. All the men were in bullet-proof vests so in theory critical injuries should be avoidable, unless you got an unlucky head shot. However that still left arms and legs vulnerable.

"Take him with you!" Jim ordered the first wounded man who nodded and reached down to grasp the other under the arm pits and begin to drag him away. Jim only watched long enough to ensure that they made it safely to the door and then returned to keeping his own skin intact.

As he crouched down to avoid a hail of machine gun fire, he sent a quick pray to heaven. He wasn't exactly religious but he was a firm believer in that it couldn't hurt. Where was his back-up?! As much as he had complete faith in the vests they wore, he knew that they would not stand up to everything. Concentrated machine gun fire could eventually rip through them, there were armour piercing bullets out there, and no vest would help you against a grenade or missile launcher.

Suddenly he heard the sound of sirens and breathed a quick 'thank you!' and was soon greeted with the further appearance of more heavily armoured officers arriving on the scene. The odds were now tipping in their favour.

Just then he spotted a single figure sliding towards the back, avoiding the battle and disappearing into the darkness.

"Damn!" he shouted and scuttled around the edges of the fight, keeping below the firing line, moving from cover to cover until he too reached the back of the building. He came out in the enclosed loading bay and saw the culprit flee out the twisted roller doors. He went immediately into a run to catch him, barely pausing as he squeezed through the gap to follow.

As he exited he could his quarry ahead of him and then realized he was running directly towards a man walking this way. For a moment Jim thought it was just a hapless citizen who had the misfortune of stumbling upon them but then as he drew closer he was shocked to recognise a familiar person. There was no mistaking Tohma Seguchi.

"Tohma!" he shouted with all his might, trying to will himself to go faster. "Get out of here!"

He already knew it was too late but he still had to try. Sure enough though, the fleeing fugitive reached Tohma first. Jim could see the glint of metal, could see the pistol in his grip as he grabbed Tohma's arm, dragging him before him, bringing the gun up to aim at Tohma's head. It was obvious that the man intended to use Tohma as a shield to prevent Jim from being able to either shoot, or draw close enough to apprehend him.

Jim slowed, knowing this all too well. He also knew that most likely at the first opportunity the man would shoot both Tohma and himself in his attempt to get away. Shit!

"Don't come any closer!!" the man screamed, the gun pointing unerringly at Tohma's temple. "I'll shoot, I swear I will!!"

Jim stopped, teeth gritted together at the feeling of helplessness washing over him. Damn it, what the hell could he do?!

He looked at Tohma and was surprised to see the face gazing back him completely composed. He appeared quite calm and not one little bit perturbed at having just become a hostage. Did he not understand that he could be killed? Jim didn't understand this man at all.

Suddenly Tohma half smiled at him and he watched in complete amazement as Tohma seemed to turn easily in the man's grip, twisting away, hands moving in fluid motions which appeared to first release him from the grasping hands, then knocking the gun away so it skittered across the pavement, before appearing to no more than lightly touch the man at which he crumpled to the ground to lie still at Tohma's feet.

Jim stood there for another moment, just staring, not even certain what he had just seen. By all intents Tohma should either still be a hostage or he should be dead at trying to pull that stunt. Yet there he stood, his blond hair not even looking ruffled.

Anger now boiled to the surface in Jim, tensing his muscles as he closed the remaining distance between them rapidly. Tohma heard his approach and turned.

"Why you, stupid….!"

Jim didn't say anything more as he lashed out and his fist connected firmly against Tohma's chin, snapping his head back and knocking him to his knees. He was breathing hard, lips drawn back in an angry snarl, hands clenched in fists at his side as the anger continued to roil inside, fuelled by the deep fear he had felt from the moment he had recognized who had been here.

Tohma remained in a crouch for a moment, making no sound, before simply getting back on his feet, one hand cradling his jaw and facing Jim.

Jim reached out and grabbed the lapels of Tohma's coat, bunching it into handfuls and pushed him hard back against the wall, hard enough that there was an audible crack as the back of his head connected with the bricks.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?!" Jim shouted, pulling Tohma forward and slamming him back again. "You fucking stupid bastard! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"

"I want to find Ryuichi," Tohma said evenly, not bothering to wipe away the small trickle of blood from his split bottom lip.

"You will stay the fuck out of this like you were told!" Jim snapped.

"I can't do that," Tohma replied.

"You..!" Jim stepped back and took another swing only this time he found his blow blocked, clenched fist clasped firmly in the palm of Tohma's hand.

Jim glared at Tohma, flashing grey eyes meeting hard green ones as the two men stood up against each other.

"I may have deserved the first," Tohma said evenly, not releasing his grip on Jim's hand. "But I will not accept a second."

Jim leant all his weight against Tohma but the shorter man didn't budge. Despite Jim standing over six foot and thus far taller than Tohma, he could feel the strength in the other man. He recalled how easily Tohma had disengaged himself from the fugitive's clutches, and drop him like a puppet master cutting the strings. Obviously that was no fluke. Tohma was far stronger than he appeared at first glance.

Jim continued to glare at Tohma. He had never felt so angry before. He wasn't one to lose his temper easily but this anger came directly from the fear he had felt, and the taste which still hung in his mouth. He had truly feared that he would see Tohma killed before his eyes, and that was something he never wanted to experience. He had seen too many good men leave the Force in pieces after having witnessed just such a scenario.

As he glared at Tohma he could see the man wasn't going to back down. He wasn't afraid of Jim, just as he hadn't been afraid of the thug who had grabbed him. Tohma Seguchi didn't appear to be afraid of anything and he certainly wasn't one to give up this fight. Jim could see that he would matching him blow for blow if need be.

With another snarl he jerked his hand from Tohma's grasp and took a step back, breathing hard and trying to get a better grip on his temper. He took a few deep breathes, closing his eyes for a moment to try and clear his head.

Tohma let him go, not trying to maintain his clasp and then calmly smoothed his crinkled jacket, before running a hand through his hair.

"I gather this did not go exactly as you had thought?" he said calmly.

Jim turned his head and held his temper as he answered shortly, "No."

"So Ryuichi is not here?"

Jim paused a moment and then answered reluctantly. "No."

Although he hadn't had the chance to conduct a full search yet his gut instinct was telling him Ryuichi wasn't here.

"Ah, I see," Tohma said no more and silence settled between them.

Jim finally spoke. "Go home," he ordered, not looking at Tohma.

He turned his back on the other and began walking back towards the warehouse. Behind him there was no sound for a moment, then he heard the sound of receding footsteps as Tohma complied.

Jim didn't stop or slow his steps although the silent way in which Tohma had obeyed, without any further argument almost made him do so for it seemed so…unnatural. Tohma was the type of person who always had the last word, he wasn't the kind of person to just do as he was told. Tonight was a perfect example of that.

So the fact that now he could hear Tohma simply walking way, doing exactly as Jim had told him seemed so…wrong. He could almost feel the despair reaching out to him, a despair that far overshadowed that he was feeling for not having found Ryuichi Sakuma.

So a part of him wanted to say something, try and give some reassurance but there was really nothing that he could say so he just kept walking, the sound of their footsteps fading as they drew further and further apart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings:** Implied violence, deprivation of liberty, implied rape and torture.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi's dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Unchained Hearts: Chapter 10

Tohma hung up the phone, eyes prickling. He had arrived home and instead of heading for a shower and to change he had picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. As soon as he had heard Mika's familiar voice he had felt himself relax a little, feel a little more at peace and grounded. Suddenly the dam inside him burst and he began to tell her all that had been happening lately. It was then that he realized just how much he had been keeping secret from her and for how long. He was ashamed of his behaviour but Mika didn't once scold him for his unthinking actions, instead she listened silently, asking questions only sometimes and let him talk it all out.

He had begged her to tell him how Eiri was doing and had waited as the silence had lengthened before she had quietly said, "Not good."

His heart had clenched again at those words. He didn't ask for anything more and she didn't volunteer anything further.

"I'm sorry," he had said.

"Don't be," she had said back sharply. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It is because of you that we even have Eiri back with us. That means more than anything else."

Although her words warmed his heart they didn't completely chase away his guilt.

"Shall I come over?" she had asked him.

"No," he had replied, even though a part of him was desperately wanting just that. He wanted her by his side during this time. "No, Eiri needs you more," he had said reluctantly.

"Maybe," she had said sounding a little depressed.

"Mika?" he had questioned.

"Never mind," she had replied. "Tell me if you do want me to come." she said firmly. "Don't try and do this on your own."

"I won't," he had said with a half smile. "Nori's here. And there are others helping." Though after his run in with Jim this evening he was wondering if he had ruined that connection. Had he just made everything worse in his effort to help?

"Call me more often," Mika said suddenly, her only concession to telling him off. "I need to hear your voice."

He smiled to himself. She had always been able to say such things so easily, unlike himself. Her confidence to do so was something he admired.

"I will," he promised.

"You sound like you need to get some sleep," she said. "Go to bed. I'll talk to you later on."

"Very well," he complied, still smiling as she ordered him around. "Take care, love,"

"You too," she said and they hung up.

Now he sat there feeling down, longing to hear her voice again after only just hanging up from her. He wanted to cry yet the tears wouldn't fall. Now he was feeling lost and uncertain of what he should do next. Events had spun out of control, something which Tohma Seguchi wasn't used to having happen in his life. He had always made certain that he had that control at all times.

The knock on his door startled him and he stared at it for a few moments thinking he must have misheard. When it came again he stood and went over, opening it and further startled by whom he saw on the other side. Jim Harris looked just as much worse for wear as he felt.

"So are you going to invite me in or leave me hanging here in the hall?" Jim said sarcastically a little.

For a brief moment Tohma was tempted to slam the door shut but instead stepped back, opening the door wider.

Jim stepped forward whilst Tohma shut it behind him.

"Got a drink?" Jim asked.

"You know where things are," Tohma indicated, returning to his seat. "Help yourself." He didn't feel in the mood to play host. Not this morning.

He watched as Jim walked over to the sideboard, glancing over the range of bottles inside before selecting one and pouring a measure into two glasses. He walked back to where Tohma was sitting and held one glass out to him.

"Drink up," he said. "You look like shit."

Tohma reached up and took the glass. "As do you."

Jim sat in the chair opposite, although fell would probably be more accurate. "Good, that's how I feel."

They both drank in silence for a moment, neither speaking.

"So what were you doing there tonight?" Jim finally asked.

"Looking for Ryuichi."

"I told you to stay out of it."

"We've already been over that," Tohma said tiredly.

"Yeah, I guess we have."

Further silence.

"Hey," Jim suddenly said making Tohma look at him. "You've got some blood here," and he indicated on his own face the spot.

"Oh," Tohma reached up and wiped, feeling the caked dryness of the blood as it flaked away, wincing a little as it stung. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Jim took a sip of his drink and the tension seemed to ease between them.

"So how did you get away from that guy back there?" Jim asked, again breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" Tohma queried, still lost in his own thoughts.

"That guy. All that fancy hand stuff," Jim waved his hand vaguely around. "You into martial arts or something?"

"Not really. Not in the way you think." Tohma answered honestly.

"So how could you do that?"

Tohma looked over at the other man seeing that he was generally interested. "Through my tai chi."

"Huh? How's that?" Jim looked at him curiously. "Isn't that for relaxation?"

"Certainly it is, and it helps build strength, muscle control and balance. However, what many people don't realize is that the moves in tai chi can also be used for both offence and defense if it is put into practice as a fighting move."

Jim leant forward a little. "Really? Now that I didn't know. So I should take up tai chi instead of sweating my arse off in tae kwan doe classes?"

Tohma smiled at him. "Well, that is up to you. But like anything, tai chi requires just as much dedication, effort and time to learn it fully and thus be able to apply it to its best."

"You look pretty good at it."

Tohma nodded modestly. "I have been learning for some time."

"So you're an expert."

Tohma laughed softly. "Hardly that," he said. "In fact, very far from it. However it has stood me in good stead. As tonight proved."

"You were damn lucky!" Jim said with a small growl.

Tohma acknowledged the chastisement. "Agreed. I hadn't expected such an….event."

Jim sat back then with a sigh. "Neither were we," he admitted grudgingly.

"So can you tell me what did occur?" Tohma asked.

Jim thought for a moment and then spoke. "It was a money laundering and gun smuggling operation." he finally said.

"So no sign of Ryuichi?"

"None."

"I see."

Jim stood, setting the glass down on the table before stretching his back with a wince.

"I've got to get back to the station." he said.

"Aren't you going to get some rest?" Tohma asked, concerned.

Jim grimaced. "No time yet. We've got to arraign the guys we pulled in and get al the reports written up. These cases get pretty messy in court. The mafia have got some pretty slick lawyers on their payrolls so we've got to make certain everything is spot on." He headed for the door.

"What about Ryuichi?" Tohma asked quietly.

Jim paused in the act of opening the door and turned to look back. "We haven't given up." he stated firmly. "We'll go back over the evidence and see what we come up with. I'll let you know."

"Okay," Jim stepped out and began to close the door. "Get some sleep. You need it," and he closed it.

Tohma swung his legs up onto the couch, leaning back against the cushions. Where are you, Ryuichi?, he thought as his heavy lids began to close. Where are you?

-oOo-

"Are you sure?" Jim asked, leaning on the table and looking over the papers spread out before him. The glossy photos dotted the type written sheets, some quite grainy and difficult to make out, others far clearer.

"It's a clear trail," Brian said, looking up from the other side. "A couple of eye witness reports came in from a door to door knock to correspond with this so it's a very good chance."

"That's what we thought the first time."

"Come on, Jim, that sort of mistake can happen, you know that. We still got the bad guys."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Jim said, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly.

Should he make the call on this one? He looked the evidence over again, thinking over everything Brian had told him. It was his decision to decide to mobilise a team or not. It was his career on the line if he screwed up. The first time was a fluke that he had actually scored big in making that bust. But it could have gone very differently as well. If there had been nothing there he would have had his butt kicked.

But if this really did lead him to Ryuichi then how could he not do it?

"Okay," he said, straightening up. "Let's do it."

"You won't be sorry." Brian said confidently.

"You'd better be right." Jim half threatened.

Brian gave him the thumbs up with a grin. "If I'm wrong I'll buy you lunch for the next year."

"Good," Jim said, as he left. "Because if you're wrong I'm going to be busted back to a beat cop and I won't be able to afford lunch!"

Now everything was in readiness and that left only one thing to do. He had pondered long and hard about this, but had realized that it was the only way. If he didn't call Tohma and tell him what was going on he might just follow them again, and this time it might not go so well for him.

He dialled the number and waited for it to be connected.

"Tohma," he said when he heard the familiar voice. "Get ready and I'll be by to pick you up in half an hour."

"What's happening?" Tohma asked.

"We've got another lead," he said as he walked towards the car.

"So soon?" Tohma sounded a little skeptical.

"Are you interested or not?" Jim snapped, still not liking having to do this.

"I'll meet you downstairs." Tohma replied and hung up.

Damn jerk, Jim fumed as he slid behind the wheel and pulled out into the traffic.

By the time he had reached Tohma's street he had calmed down again. It was just his nerves becoming frayed; the stress of the case, the additional workload the recent bust had generated for him, and the worry over Tohma. He was also feeling guilty that he was neglecting Kerryn far too much. She was wisely staying clear of him while he was behaving like a bear with a sore head. He promised himself that he would make it up to her after this was all over.

Tohma was true to his word and waiting on the footpath and, as soon as he spotted Jim slowing down, stepped onto the road and quickly slid into the passenger seat.

"How far is it?' Tohma asked as he belted up.

"About an hour across town." Jim answered.

"So what is it this time?"

Jim glanced quickly at him but couldn't detect any sarcasm there, just a genuine query. He was getting touchy.

"They went back over tracing the van's movements as identified through the CTV camera's." he said. "They found a couple more from a petrol station and a 24 hour store where it went past further on."

Jim stopped talking as he crossed through a busy part of town before picking up the story. "They've had the beat cops asking a few questions around the area where it was finally lost and got a few eye witness accounts that pinpointed it to a house. The cops couldn't get much more about the resident, just that he seemed the real quiet type. There was no record of such a van being registered to him but that doesn't mean anything. We got word back yesterday that the van definitely had been seen there for the past three days and hadn't moved."

"Is that a good thing?" Tohma asked.

"Well, there's been signs of the suspect still being at the house so he hasn't fled. Since the vehicle used in the abduction is still parked round the back, he doesn't seem to be making any efforts to hide his tracks which means there's a good possibility that he doesn't think he's done anything so bad he has to hide yet."

"Meaning that Ryuichi might still be alive."

Jim glanced at him again. "A good possibility."

"I know," Tohma assured his friend so he didn't have to actually say it. He looked out the window. "I know it's still a long shot, but it's still something."

"Yeah,"

They drove the rest of the way in silence apart from Jim occasionally discussing things with his team over the two-way as they drew nearer. When he finally pulled up in the suburban outer suburb Tohma looked around in a little surprise. It seemed such an ordinary place; ordinary houses, ordinary people, nothing to suggest that anything untoward might have been happening here.

"Surprising, isn't it?" Jim said, startling him.

He turned to meet the other's eyes.

"It all looks so normal," Jim continued, glancing out the window, leaning on the steering wheel. "No-one thinks that there could possibly be anything wrong happening here. Until you find that a serial murderer has been living next door to you for the past ten years when the bodies start getting dug up." He sighed. "Somehow it doesn't seem right that even places like this can be disturbed by such things."

He unclipped his belt and opened his door. "Come on," and Tohma followed him down the street.

Tohma hung back as Jim met up with the rest of his team and they discussed details of what action they were to take. He had no part in that and had no intention of interfering. From where they were parked he could see the house in question which Jim had pointed out to him. It looked so normal. Was Ryuichi inside? He hoped so – with all his heart.

"Okay," Jim said as he came to stand beside him. He was dressed in his bullet proof vest as were his team. "I want you to stay right here until you get the all clear from me." He fixed Tohma with a steely stare. "Can I trust you to do that?" he asked bluntly.

Tohma nodded. "Yes."

Jim continued to look at him as though trying to determine if he was truly telling the truth. "Fine then." He turned away and motioned for his people to move in. "See you shortly." he said to Tohma and then set off at a sprint across the road.

Tohma watched as the police swarmed around the house like black ants, holding position for a moment and then spilling inside and disappearing from view. One minute they were there, then they were gone.

He waited and counted his heartbeats, trying to curb his impatience and desire to go over there also. But he had given Jim his word and he would not break it.

Finally a black clad figure appeared on the porch and waved to him and he let his breath out in a whoosh, hurrying across the road and up the steps. The man led him silently inside. Tohma glanced at the rooms as they passed by; they all seemed perfectly normal. He was taken down the steps towards the basement and saw Jim at the bottom speaking to one of his men. He looked up as he heard Tohma's step and the grim expression he wore made his heart freeze.

"Get on to that now," Jim finished saying to his man, who hurried away to do his bidding as he turned to face Tohma.

"Ryuichi?" Tohma questioned.

Jim shook his head and Tohma's heart fell.

"He's not here, but it seems like it was the right place."

"Why?"

Jim motioned with his head and Tohma followed him further into the brightly lit room. Now he took in the whole décor before him and he swallowed against the bile building in his throat. He could see the chains, he could see the implements, gleaming steel set out neatly on the metal tray. He could see the stains on the floor and his nose twitched at the metallic scent of blood, vomit and urine.

His stomach rolled and he swallowed hard. His eyes fell on the torn shred of plastic pushed to the far corner and he hurried over to it, hand outstretched.

"Don't touch it!" Jim's harsh shout halted him and he froze, looking back over his shoulder. "Don't interfere with the crime scene." Jim ordered.

Tohma took a deep breath to try and calm himself and merely nodded to show he understood. Walking slowly and carefully he crossed the last few feet and gazed down at the name still partially showing on the torn bag.

"That is the store where Ryuichi made his last purchase," he said clearly, turning to face Jim.

"Are you sure?"

Tohma nodded. "Yes."

"Good. Forensics will be here shortly. They'll take it from here."

Jim turned around and Tohma could see his eyes tracing over everything, probably seeing far more than tohma could from what was here.

"Did you….find the person responsible?" Tohma asked.

Jim looked over at him. ""This way," and lead him back upstairs, through a few rooms and into the kitchen.

There at the table a man sat, looking perfectly average apart from the glint of steel circling each wrist as his hands lay clasped on the table before him. He looked up as they entered with a smile.

"Hello," he said evenly.

Tohma gazed at this person, this creature, before him. Were they saying this was the person who had taken Ryuichi? Surely not. There was nothing remarkable about him any way. He was nothing more than regular human being; a person you would pass by a hundred times on the street and never look at twice. And yet they believed this person planned and abducted, and from the evidence below, tortured Ryuichi. How could that be?

"Come this way," Jim said gruffly, leading Tohma now upstairs to the next floor.

They passed a room that was obviously a bedroom, and at the far end Jim opened another door. Tohma stepped forward and stopped, frozen in shock. He stood and looked all around him and everywhere he looked his eyes were assaulted by the images of Ryuichi. From floor to ceiling and even stretching across that span above them the plaster was covered with pictures of Ryuichi. He could see that some were taken from magazines, others were obviously amateur ones from various concerts, others showed evidence where either he or Noriko had been cut from the picture so only Ryuichi remained.

He walked on unsteady legs further into the room, stunned by what he was seeing. Now he saw that some of the pictures had been defaced; obscene things written or drawn on Ryuichi's image, others showing him bound or dead.

His eyes were drawn to some pictures that seemed more recent, overlapping those underneath. He drew closer and could now see that it was Ryuichi but what made his breath catch was that in some he was wearing the same clothes as when he went missing.

Unable to stop himself Tohma's eyes ran across the pictures displayed there, beginning with the ones of Ryuichi clothed, obviously unconscious, continuing on to see him in various states of undress, face contorted in pain and fear, ones where his friend was completely naked with blood smeared across his flesh, and then clearly showing he had been violated, even with one shot showing all too clearly the penetration by another person.

Tohma couldn't hold down his feelings any longer and bolted for the door. Jim grabbed his arm and pushed him across the hall into a bathroom where he fell to his knees and vomited violently over and over again until he could bring up nothing more and still the spasms would cease. Tears coursed down his cheeks as he silently wept, the images imbedded in his mind.

"I know," Jim's voice penetrated the fog of despair that clouded his mind. "I know how you feel."

Tohma looked up at him.

"It made me sick too."

Tohma didn't know if he was just trying to sympathise with him or if he actually meant it in the literal sense. It didn't matter either way.

"Did that…..person really do this to Ryu?" he managed to whisper hoarsely.

"Looks like it," Jim answered shortly. "We found the remains of Ryu's clothes. The sick bastard had kept them as well." He turned his back on the huddled Tohma.

"So where….is Ryu?" Tohma asked, dreading the answer.

"We don't know," Jim answered honestly. "We haven't found any sign of him."

Tohma swallowed hard again, then took a deep breath and stood, automatically brushing himself down. Jim turned as he did so.

"Thank you for allowing me to come, and for your hard work." Tohma said, holding out his hand.

Jim took it and held it tightly for a moment, staring hard at Tohma. "I'll let you know," he said.

Tohma nodded and walked carefully down the stairs, out the door and away from the house of horrors.

-oOo-

Jim scrubbed at his face again, ignoring the stubble, ignoring the tired muscles and stinging eyes, ignoring the pain he was feeling. Gods, he hated this. He had known the chances were slim right from the start and had only grown less but he had still…hoped.

Now there was none. All the evidence pointed to that.

He rubbed at his eyes again. He couldn't face going back into the interview room again. He had done so the first time, he was the lead detective after all. But the smarmy confident suspect had just driven him to the brink of violence, for the whole time he was speaking all he kept seeing were those photos of Ryuichi's torture and violation and that not only made him sick but it made him angry. So he had finally handed over further questioning to one of his men, needing to distance himself from the events for a moment.

Well, that was it. No more searching, no more wondering. Now Tohma and Noriko would have to find a way to announce to the rest of the world that Ryuichi Sakuma was gone. After all they had both done, it had all been for nothing. Gods, life sucks.

"So this is where you are,"

Jim looked up at the voice to see Brian leaning on the door.

"Hiding are you?"

"Yeah, I couldn't take it any more. One more condescending word from that bastard and I was going to put a bullet between his eyes."

"Whoa, bit testy are we?"

"Did you see what that fuckwit did to that kid?!" Jim started out of his chair, eyes blazing. "He's a sick psychotic bastard!"

"Hey, hey! I'm on your side remember?" Brian said, holding up his hands and backing away a little.

Jim took a deep breath and sat down again. "Yeah, sorry."

"Apology accepted," Brian said, coming close again and sitting down also. "And, yes, I've seen the evidence. I've been running things out at the house remember."

"I know. Sorry."

"You've already said that."

Jim just rolled his eyes at his friend who gave a small grin back.

"Look I didn't mean to press a button there." Brian said. "I just meant that I wondered what tack you were taking to try and get information out of him as to where the kid is."

"Just asking him outright. We've got more than enough to evidence to nail him on the case. We just need him to spill where he's hidden the body and it's all tied up."

"Body? Why are you looking for one of those?"

Jim looked at his friend. "What are you talking about? You've seen what he did to Ryuichi. We couldn't find him anywhere in the house so he's obviously dumped the body somewhere else."

"What I mean is, what makes you think that he's killed him?"

Jim just stared at him. "You think he's still alive?"

Brian shrugged a little. "I don't know for sure, but just from the way this guy has gone about it I don't think he would have killed Ryuichi except as a very last resort. Everything about him indicates that he wanted to totally possess the guy, in all ways. And yes, that is really sick, but it doesn't indicate that he actually wanted him dead. He had no idea you were coming so it's not like he had panicked and got rid of Ryuichi, so that could mean that the kid's still alive."

"But he's not in the house." Jim said.

"No, he's not, and we've gone over the place with a fine tooth comb so we're sure of that."

"Which means he must have moved him somewhere?" Jim worried at his thumbnail with his teeth as his thoughts raced. "But to where?"

Brian stood. "That's your job to find out," he said, walking to the door. "I've got a number of samples I'm testing so if any of them come back with anything I'll let you know."

"Okay," Jim said, then gave a small smile. "Thanks."

Brian waved. "Anytime, pal," he threw over his shoulder as he left.

Jim sat there but now his thoughts were turning in new directions. Right, he needed to go back over everything they had found at the place and let's try a different direction in the questionings.

-oOo-

Tohma felt dazed. He knew he should contact Noriko, she would be getting extremely worried about him. There had already been a number of messages left on his phone from her, as well as a note placed prominently on his kitchen bench which indicated that she had come over at least once since he'd been gone.

After the raid he had found the nearest open bar and began to drink steadily. He'd done that for most of the day and had only had enough thought still left to help him flag a taxi and get home to his apartment, where he had promptly thrown up again before falling into sleep.

When he had awoken he'd found himself still lying on the bathroom tiles in his previous clothes and stinking of alcohol, cigarettes and vomit. His head pounded unpleasantly. He could hold his liquour quite well but had truly exceeded his normal limit yesterday.

He had turned on the shower and stripped his stinking clothes off under the water, peeling them away layer by layer until he was naked, and just that act seemed to help clear his mind. Now he was thinking a little better he tried to make sense of things.

Despite the evidence to the contrary, a part of his heart couldn't seem to accept that Ryuichi was gone. They had been together for so long that he had always believed that he would know if something happened to either Ryu or Noriko, so it seemed surreal that Ryu was now dead and he couldn't feel anything different.

No matter how his mind tried to rationalize it his heart refused to accept it. It kept on saying that Ryuichi was still out there, it kept telling him that he had to keep looking. He was beginning to think that he was going mad from the strain. By the end of the day he'd had enough. He didn't care if he was in denial, or crazy, or what. All he knew was that something kept telling him Ryu was alive and he had to find him.

He rang Jim's number and waited for it to be answered, relived when it finally was.

"How are you holding up?" Jim asked immediately before he could speak.

"As best as possible," he answered honestly. "I have something to say to you."

"What?"

Toham took a deep breath. "I know everything indicates that Ryuichi is…dead. But I'm sorry, I don't accept that. I know he's still alive."

Tohma waited, expecting the tirade of abuse for not accepting the facts, or solicitous words to indicate that it was just his grief deluding him.

"You do, do you?" Jim said instead in a quiet voice.

"Yes," Tohma said firmly. "I do."

"Well, it seems like you're not the only one."

"Pardon?" Tohma was caught by surprise.

"Yeah, there's a couple of things that seem to be indicating that possibility," and Jim stressed the last word, "that Ryu was shifted from the house to somewhere else so he may just still be alive."

"Where?"

"Don't know; that's the problem. They're running every possible test on everything in the house to see if we can come up with anything to indicate where he might have been taken. It's still a long shot. We've had the place under surveillance for three days and the van didn't move during that time so if Ryu was shifted it was before that. So that makes it four days since this guy has gone to see him. I doubt he would have put him up in a nice hotel with room service so he's probably getting damn hungry by now."

"Yes, I see what you mean." Tohma's mind raced through these realistic difficulties that he hadn't considered.

"So we're still on the clock with this if you're right. We'll keep squeezing the bastard who took him to see if he spills anything more. I'll let you know what comes up."

"Thank you, Jim."

"You're welcome," and Jim hung up.

So he wasn't mad after all, Tohma thought. That's always nice to know.

-oOo-

Jim listened as the tape played back again, trying to put the pieces together. He stood by the whiteboard, absently twirling the marker in his hand as he listened. His eyes scanned the information before him; photos, analysis reports, arrows and written text linking each portion as they remapped the movements of the suspect over the past weeks.

"Any luck?" Brian said as he entered, file in hand which he set down on the table and began flicking through.

"I'm not sure." Jim admitted, feeling as though he were close but seeming to be missing something still.

"Well, here's another little tidbit," Brian said, holding up a sheet.

"What is it?"

"The final analysis has indicated that that sample seemed to have been picked up in some of our waterworks."

"That doesn't help that much," Jim groused with a frowned. "We've got hundreds of miles of those."

"True," Brian said, "But this is obviously from a much older area due to the build up of residue there. There a few other things that came out which we are tracing which may lead to us being able to get a bit closer to pinning down a location."

Brian grinned at him. "As you know, everything used to go down the drains so the residues left behind often give us an idea of what type of industries were in the area, even if they aren't there now."

"So you think that could help?"

"Where ever this guy moved the kid to, wasn't done randomly. This guy hasn't done anything randomly so it had to all have been planned before hand. So this means that he knew the place he took him to and knew it rather well. That's got to give us something to work on. Why don't you start making a check on all the places this guy has worked before; the type of companies and stuff? It might be somewhere that he came across during those times that he's used and that might give a match to what we come up with."

"It's worth a shot," Jim said, nodding. "We've got to start somewhere." He looked at Brian with a lop-sided grin. "Sure you don't want my job?"

"Nah," Brian said good-naturedly. "I couldn't stand working with you lot all the time!"

-oOo-

Tohma walked into the station and waited as Jim was contacted, wondering what the other man had found out. It only took a moment before Jim was there and signed him through, leading him down the corridor to his office.

Now Tohma sat and looked at the cluttered white board before him. It meant little to him but obviously it had great significance to Jim.

"Okay, we think we may have just struck pay dirt." Jim came straight to the point.

Tohma sat up straighter, eye shining with interest.

"A colleague put me onto the trail and we started trying to find out more about this guy's background as far as where he had worked in the past. We learnt that he had once been a sanitation worker, as in maintenance of the city's sewage system."

"How does that help us?" Tohma wanted to know, interrupting.

"It gives us a potential location." Jim explained. "Some of the samples found in both the house, van, and even on some of the suspect's shoes seemed to indicate that he had been in old sewer pipes, most likely some of the disused ones. There's plenty around you know. It's easier to just cut or block them off and leave them there, than try to dig them out fully and dispose of them."

"So you think he took Ryuichi into somewhere like that? But how are we going to find him?"

"Brian and his boys ran a few more tests and narrowed it down to certain areas around the city, based on the residues still in the muck that was dragged up. Don't ask me to get into all the scientific mumbo-jumbo, that's not my thing."

Jim pulled over a map where a couple of grids had been marked off. "These are the areas they say are the most likely matches to what they've come up with so far." He looked up at Tohma. "There's no guarantees on this. It's still just a guess. You willing to take a chance?"

Tohma nodded firmly. "Completely."

"Good. Let's get going. I've managed to get two teams together. One will go with us and we'll do here," pointing to one portion of the grid markings. "The other will check out this region," indicating the other. He stood and Tohma followed him towards the back door heading for the car park.

"By the way," Jim said as they walked. "Some good news is that the bastard did let slip that Ryu had been alive when he had moved him." Tohma felt relief wash over him. "However, we don't know what state he was in at the time and he's been without food for nearly a week now, and possibly water as well. Those aren't good conditions."

Tohma nodded thoughtfully. "I know." He looked over at Jim. "But he was still alive then."

"Yeah," Jim nodded back.

-oOo-

"Shit! It stinks down here!" One of the men exclaimed, trying to cover his nose.

"Shit is right," another grumbled. "How the hell did we get this job?"

"That's what they pay you the big bucks for," Jim said back, not breaking his stride.

"What's that?" the first officer complained back. "You must be looking at someone else's pay check because it sure aint mine!"

"Mine either!" another piped up.

"Cut the chatter and stay alert!" Jim ordered, bringing the mirth to an end. "He's most likely not going to be just out in the open so we need to check every area out."

They continued on their way before coming to another branching in the tunnels.

"Geez, again!" One of the men said, then turned to Jim. "We'll go this way. You'll be okay on your own?" he asked, casting a quick glance towards Tohma standing by Jim's side. They may have accepted Tohma as being part of the team but they didn't accept him as being part of their group, which meant it left their leader on his own in their eyes.

Jim nodded. "I'll be fine," he assured his man. "Call in with what you find."

"Will do," and the man turned to head off in their intended direction, followed by his partner. Their torchlight was swallowed up quickly by the darkness.

"Still okay to go on?" Jim asked Tohma.

Tohma nodded. "Lead on."

Jim turned and they continued walking down the tunnel they extended into the distance.

Tohma had become used to the smell by now. It still made his nose twitch with distaste and the back of his throat itch, but he could ignore it by now. He no longer paid attention to the state of his clothes either. Jim had insisted that they both wear coveralls, for which he was extremely grateful now.

Their gloves were slimy from having to grip onto things to pull them along, their boots caked in grunge, and more than once one of them would have to pause to struggle to pull their foot free as the sludge sucked it down, refusing to release it. They both looked quite a sight.

They had navigated their way from the more pristine modern versions of pipeworks to this area where once the hatch had been oxy cut open from its welding, they had been forced to wade through liquid and sediment that was best left unknown. Tohma didn't even want to hazard a guess as to how long some of the stuff had been stagnating here. Now he really could believe some of the urban myths about alligators in the sewers of New York.

Jim paused and Tohma nearly ran into him at the sudden stop. He then noticed that Jim had come to a standstill before an alcove set back a little from the main tunnel wall to their right and there was the outline of a wheel lock. Jim took the locking mechanism in both hands and threw his weight against it.

Tohma had lost count of how many of these they had checked, how many other alcoves they had searched. The calls came in frequently from the other members of their team, as well as the second team scouring the other region, broken and crackling due to the poor reception of trying to filter through the depths. Nothing had been unearth as of yet and Tohma was beginning to think that they had made a mistake in coming here. Perhaps they had been too hasty in taking this path. Perhaps the suspect had deliberately thrown them a red herring to send them on this wild goose chase, all the while laughing at them. And all this time Ryuichi was left alone longer, suffering.

Tohma pushed that thought away before it could take hold of him. He had to focus on what was happening now. He had to stay focused and positive. Ryuichi was still alive. That he firmly believed. And the other thing he believed now was that he would find him.

"Damn, this one's stiff!" Jim puffed, throwing his weight against it fully.

"Let me help," Tohma said, stepping forward and grabbing also.

It was difficult with the two them as the wheel wasn't that big, as well as their grip being slippery and difficult to find a secure grip, but they persevered. Finally they were rewarded with a creaking and grating and it shifted a quarter turn before stopping again.

"Aw, shit! Come on!" Jim cursed it, throwing his weight at it again.

It didn't move this time and he searched around, eyes alighting upon a short piece of pipe hanging loose. He grabbed it, yanking it backwards and forwards a few times till it came fully away from where it had been wedged.

"Stand back," he cautioned Tohma, who moved away as he raised the bar above his head and brought it crashing down on the wheel. He did this a few more times and then pushed it between the spokes to use as more leverage.

"Give us a hand!" he gasped out and Tohma grabbed hold again and they both pulled once more.

This time they were rewarded with the wheel turning fully, although not freely, and every inch was won with the sweat of them both. They kept going, forcing it around until they felt the door shudder as the latch finally came free.

Jim pulled out the bar and tossed it to one side. "Okay, let's get this baby open," he said, hauling backwards.

It moved slowly, inching out, pushing against the build up of muck that coated not just the floor but around its outer edges also. Globules of this muck fell upon them but they ignore it, still heaving against the dead weight. When it was open wide enough to allow a man to enter Jim stepped forward, shining his light around.

He flashed it up to see that it was an actual room, not another old air shaft. The low ceiling started back at him, barely enough room for him to stand up. His light roamed around the perimeter. It wasn't much of a room.

"Nothi…" he began when his beam fell upon a dark shape in the middle. He stared at the sight before him, shocked.

Tohma seemed to sense something was wrong and pushed forward, his own light searching. "What is it?" he said, peering forward.

His voice choked as he too saw the shape which now moved upon hearing his voice.

Ryuichi's unmistakable face looked up at them, eyes wide and bright still, although black streaks of grime covered not only his face but also the muck almost completely covered his body.

"Tohma," Ryuichi's voice was hoarse, completely unlike his usual melodious sound.

Tohma rushed to his side, taking in the pitiful state of his dearest friend. Ryuichi looked gaunt, ribs showing all too clearly, and the smell surrounding them indicated that all of the muck he was lying in was not all old.

But Ryuichi looked up at him and a smile stretched his lips, hand reaching out to him which he clasped tightly as he fell to his knees. Behind him he could vaguely hear Jim making frantic calls to his team but he wasn't paying any attention to that. He was completely focused on his friend.

"I knew you would come," Ryuichi was saying, his words sounding painful as though he had forgotten how to speak. "I told Kumagoro you would."

"Kuma..goro?" Tohma questioned, confused.

Ryuichi's smile grew broader as his other hand held up a dark blob that Tohma could just now see wasn't just dirt but the furry toy Ryuichi had bought so long ago.

"See, Kumagoro," Ryuichi turned his head to look at the toy. "Didn't I tell you that Tohma would come?" He paused as though listening to a voice only he could hear. "That's okay," he said as he patted the toy's head. "It's all right that you doubted me, but I never doubted Tohma."

He looked up at Tohma now with another of those strange bright but inane smiles that froze Tohma's heart. "Tohma, meet Kumagoro. He's my friend."

Ryuichi waited expectantly as Tohma struggled for words. His friend had always been a little…strange, Ryuichi's mood swings were quite the norm but he had never seen this childlike regression before under any circumstances.

He saw the concern begin to creep over Ryuichi's dirty face as he remained silent and he quickly spoke. He looked directly at the dirty toy and said, "I am very pleased to meet you, Kumagoro," he managed to choke out formally. He bowed his head slightly. "Thank you for looking after Ryuichi."

Ryuichi let out a crow of laughter, startling Tohma who looked up at him, thinking he must have done something wrong, but his friend was hugging the toy tightly, smiling brightly.

"Kumagoro is pleased to meet you too, Tohma! He's heard lots about you but he thought I was making you up."

"Really?" Tohma said a little faintly, beginning to feel overwhelmed.

"Hey!" Ryuichi suddenly said, startling him again, and he noticed that he was looking past him and turned his head to see Jim standing there. "It's Mr Policeman! Look Kumagoro, it's Mr Policeman!" He stuck his tongue out at Jim. "I don't know if I like you, Mr Policeman. You keep bothering Tohma."

"Uhm," Jim was at a complete loss of words as he gazed down at Ryuichi.

"Come on, Ryuichi," Tohma finally said. "Let's go home, shall we?"

"We can leave now?" Ryuichi asked, turning wide eyes to Tohma's. "The demon's not out there waiting for us?"

Tohma could see the dark shadow of fear in Ryuichi's eyes and his heart clenched as he realized that he was speaking of his captor. He shook his head.

"No, Ryu, the demon is gone. We caught him."

"You did?" Now Ryuichi's bright smile was back as he turned to his toy. "You see, Kumagoro, didn't I tell you Tohma was the best? He can even beat demons! Nothing can stop him! He's my hero!"

He beamed at Tohma as he snuggled the toy against his face, heedless of the fact that it was smearing further dirt over him. "Kumagoro thinks you're pretty cool."

"Then please thank Kumagoro for his praise. How would you both like to have a nice hot bath when we get home?" Tohma struggled to keep his voice even and light.

"Ooooh, that would be nice! Kuma too?"

"Of course, we can't leave him dirty. That wouldn't be very nice."

He reached out and helped Ryuichi to his feet, supporting his friend who seemed unable to stand on weakened legs.

Ryuichi looked up at Tohma's face, only about an inch from his. "I knew you would understand," he almost whispered, and for a moment Tohma saw the old Ryuichi there, clear sane eyes looking back at him. "I knew I could count on you."

"Always, my friend," Tohma whispered back. "Always."

Ryuichi nodded but stumbled a little as he tried to walk. Jim reached out and grabbed them both, helping to balance them in the unsteady footing.

"Here," he said, wrapping a blanket around Ryuichi's nakedness. "We've got a stretcher coming so you don't have to walk."

Ryuichi's head came back up and he looked at Jim now. "Give me a piggyback ride!" he demanded and Tohma's heart fell as he returned to the childlike persona once again. "Want a piggyback ride!"

"No way!" Jim said, stepping back.

"I want, I want!" Ryuichi began to chant.

"Now, Ryuichi," Tohma said quietly. "Don't you think Kumagoro would be more comfortable lying down?"

"Oh!" Ryuichi stopped and thought about it for a moment, then turned to the toy for a moment. His face fell and he looked dejectedly at Jim. "Kumagoro says he does want to lie down."

"Yes, I thought so," Tohma said, helping him through the door.

As they exited he saw the other members of their team arriving and two immediately unfolded the portable stretcher they carried. He made certain that Ryuichi was strapped in securely, Kumagoro by his side.

"There you go," he said, tucking in the blanket. "Let's go now."

Ryuichi's hand snaked out and grasped his tightly, jagged nails digging in his flesh.

"You'll stay by me?" he said in a small voice.

Tohma squeezed his hand. "I'll be right here." he said and smoothed back Ryuichi's lank strands of hair from his dirty face with a gentle touch. "I'm not going anywhere." he promised.

"Kuma too!" Ryuichi demanded and Tohma obligingly patted the toy's head as well, bringing that bright smile to Ryuichi's face again.

"Okay, time to go," Ryu stated brightly, and they set off, Tohma at his side.

Within a few minutes Ryuichi had fallen into an exhausted sleep and didn't even stir when they finally exited the dark tunnels and he was once more bathed in light.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings: none**.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi's dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Unchained Memories: Chapter 11

"So. How is he?"

Tohma turned at Jim's softly spoken query, seeing the other man leaning back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, head lowered.

He looked back at the closed door before him as though his vision was able to penetrate to the room beyond.

"Poorly," he answered honestly. He raised one hand and rested it flat against the door as he continued. "Physically, for all his hurts, the doctor says he will recover in time. Fortunately none of the injuries were so severe as to cause lasting damage. They have been able to stave off the infections that had begun to fester so they are optimistic."

"But?"

Tohma's head dropped as he stared at his shoes, the hand on the door suddenly clenching into a fist.

"Physically he will heal," he said softly. "Mentally….it appears that the trauma has caused some…lasting effects."

"Permanent?" Jim raised his head and looked across at Tohma.

Tohma nodded, hand still clenched. "So…it would appear." He looked at the door again, his face wearing a pained expression. "The doctors will continue to run further tests but at present they do not believe things will change any time soon."

Tohma relaxed his hand and gave the door one last light touch before turning and walking down the corridor. Jim fell into step beside him and they walked in silence through the stillness of the hospital.

This was a very exclusive hospital, very exclusive. It was the kind of place that celebrities came to when they didn't want their maladies to be aired in public, and it prided itself on not betraying the privacy of its patients. Eventually the media would usually find out about such things but generally, during their stay on the premises, not a word was breathed of their presence within these walls. Tohma had heard of this place certainly but he had never given it more than a passing thought, not thinking that there would ever come a time when he or his would need such a place. So he had been surprised when it had actually been Jim who had suggested it.

When they had first found Ryuichi, Tohma had been desperate to get him medical attention as soon as possible. In the light of day he could see the many injuries beneath the layers of filth and dirt that caked his friend's naked body. The ambulance was already waiting for them, bundling Ryuichi inside, beginning to monitor his vital signs. It had been Jim who had broken through his fixed concentration on Ryuichi's condition to ask him where he had wanted to take Ryu.

He had turned to look at Jim, frowning as his mind tumbled with thoughts. "I would have thought a hospital would have been the only logical destination," he had said sharply, his patience thin from worry.

Jim had ignored his tone, just lit up a cigarette as he responded. "You need to choose a place to tell them,", indicating with his head towards the bustling paramedics. "And keep in mind what's going to happen as soon as it's leaked that Ryuichi's been admitted."

Ah, there was that, Tohma suddenly thought. The last thing he wanted was to subject Ryu to more exposure, subjecting him to having his humiliation splashed around for all and sundry to see. No, he wouldn't do that to Ryu. He forced his mind to focus on the problem, dragging it away from Ryuichi's state. Yes, some careful consideration needed to be given to this matter.

He examined Jim who was smoking quietly, then a corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. "I presume then that you have something in mind?" he asked mildly.

Jim quirked an eyebrow at him, then gave a small shrug. "Well, there is one place that I know of," he said, tapping the ash from his cigarette. It was then that he mentioned the hospital's name.

Tohma had raised an eyebrow in surprise at the suggestion. "Just how does an ordinary detective know of such a place?" he had queried, curiousity getting the better of him.

Jim just shrugged again. "As a detective I know about these things," he had explained. "It wouldn't be the first time that we've had to help get someone to that place quietly. But I warn you, it's damn expensive."

"That is not an issue," Tohma had said calmly as he climbed into the back of the waiting ambulance.

"Okay then," Jim had replied. "I'll let them know and escort you there."

Tohma had given a brief nod of thanks as the doors closed and the siren began to sound.

That had been nearly a week ago. Each day Tohma came here. Each day he was told the same thing. Physically Ryuichi was doing well. Soon he would be well enough to leave. Physically at least.

Mentally… there was no change. The head psychiatrist had tried to explain to him what he believed had happened.

"In times of severe stress and trauma the mind does strange things," the man had said to him. "It searches for survival mechanisms, things that it can use to stay alive. Sensory deprivation, feelings of humiliation, degradation, being made to feel like nothing more than an object and not an actual person, all these things tend to destroy a person's sense of 'self'. It's very difficult for people to rebalance themselves from these times, depending upon the severity of the circumstances."

The man had shuffled the papers before him before continuing. "That toy became Ryuichi's focus during this time. By giving the toy its own persona made Ryuichi feel that he was not suffering alone, that he hadn't been abandoned. By believing that the toy was an actual living being meant it was sharing the difficulties with him, and in his mind halved the impact of the trauma. The only way for him to retain any semblance of his own sense of 'self' was to give a part of that 'self' to that toy."

"Will he return to…normal with time?" Tohma had asked.

"I couldn't say for certain," the psychiatrist said noncommittally. "But I wouldn't fix all your hope on that. This may be as good as he will ever get."

The man stood then and walked to the window, pulling the blinds apart for a moment as he spoke again. "In all honesty, Ryuichi is still much the same as you knew before. He hasn't lost his memory or forgotten anything. His IQ hasn't suddenly dropped, nor has he lost any of his abilities or skill." He turned to face Tohma. "It is simply that that toy is now the prime focal point of his life. Take that away and you will be taking away his grip on sanity. Until he can willingly give it up it would be far better to let him retain it."

"So you are not too concerned with the way that he…speaks to the toy?" Tohma asked.

The doctor shook his head as he reseated himself, shuffling the papers on his desk again and straightening them back into the file. "No, that is quite to be expected. To Ryuichi that toy is as real to him as any other person. And because he has given it a part of his 'self' the answers that he believes he hears from it, or says the toy gives him, is really just himself answering." The doctor looked up with a small smile. "You could think of it like it is his conscience in a way. Just another part of him."

"That will take….some getting used to," Tohma said honestly.

The doctor nodded again. "It will, but your acceptance of it will be very important. You do realize how highly Ryuichi thinks of you, don't you?"

"We have been friends for some time," Tohma indicated absently.

"I don't mean just like that," the doctor said, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. "To Ryuicih you are very, very important. It seems that you are the one person in this world that he never wants to disappoint or let down in any way. If you can't accept him the way he is now would be a severe blow to his state of mind. I firmly believe that it was his belief in you that kept him alive through this ordeal. Can you accept him?"

"Always," Tohma said evenly, looking the doctor in the eye. "I will always be there for Ryuichi. Whenever he needs me."

There was a moment of silence and then the doctor spoke again. "Good. That will only help him improve over time." He closed the file on his desk. "I understand that physically Ryuichi will probably be able to be released in another week or two. Mentally, I have no further reason to keep him here either. He is not a danger to himself or any one else, there is no medication that can be prescribed for his condition, so all I can suggest is to give him time and some peace and quiet to adjust. I think a part of him knows he's not acting completely…rationally all the time but he can't change that yet, so he will need some time to adapt to the changes within himself as well. Getting him back into familiar surroundings and with people he's comfortable with would be the best thing for him. I would suggest avoiding unusual circumstances and crowds for a time though. He's a little wary of strangers at the moment which is entirely understandable and we don't want to put him under any more strain."

"Thank you, Doctor," Tohma said, standing, realizing the discussion was over. "Thank you for all your time and efforts."

"You're welcome. It is my job after all," the doctor said, shaking the proffered hand. "I wish you both the best."

Tohma looked up at the blue sky, blinking in the bright sunshine.

"So what's next?" Jim asked, immediately lighting a cigarette now they were out of the hospital buildings and he was no longer restricted in doing so.

Tohma watched the smoke from the cigarette between Jim's lips curled upwards in the air. "We take Ryuichi home tomorrow," he replied, beginning to walk towards the car. "After that, we'll see."

They both slid into the vehicle and Jim started the engine. "How's Noriko holding up?" he asked, navigating the traffic as they headed back towards Tohma's apartment.

"As well as can be expected," Tohma replied, looking out the window. "She's gotten over the initial shock and is doing fine. She'll mother Ryuichi when he get's home so that will make her feel better."

Tohma had contacted Noriko immediately he and Ryuichi had arrived at the hospital, letting her know that their friend was now rescued and safe and where to find them. She had arrived only a couple of hours later, having slipped away from the reporters that still haunted her apartment, wearing heavy makeup that changed her appearance rather dramatically, sober clothes which were nothing like her usual attire, and a short wig that changed her into a brunette. It had obviously been successful as there was no mention of her escape from the media's scrutiny in the papers the next day.

She had flung herself into his arms and he had felt his breath squeezed from his lungs at the strength of the hug. "Is he really all right?" she had queried, sounding breathless. The moistness that fell on his neck told him that she was crying as well.

"He'll be all right," he had said, holding her just as tightly. He couldn't bring himself to tell her all that had been done to Ryuichi. He didn't feel it was his place to tell her all the sordid details. He would have to leave it up to Ryuichi as to how much Noriko was to be told. Still she deserved to have some information to prepare her for the change in her friend.

He steeled himself and broke the hug but kept his hands on her shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. "Ryuichi's been through a great deal," he said quietly. "He's been hurt," and he saw her eyes widen a little at that, "but that will heal."

He heard the soft sigh of relief from her and was sorry that what he next said was going to break that feeling. "There is one problem though," He felt her stiffen under his hands. "His….behaviour is not the same," he said, trying to pick his words carefully.

"What…do you mean?"

"I…don't know anything more at this stage," he had said, reaching down and holding her hands. "I just wanted you to be prepared when you saw him."

He lead her down the corridor and she followed obediently. "Will...he get better?" she had asked in a small voice.

"I don't know," he had replied, stopping outside the closed door.

He quietly opened it and beckoned Noriko to follow him.

The room was bright, the curtain pulled back and the blinds open to let the sunlight stream in, chasing away the shadows. Ryuichi was sitting in the bed, still in a stark pale hospital gown which actually accentuated his good looks, his dark wavy hair and black eyes seeming to be the only colour in the room and so naturally drew the eye.

He looked up from playing with Kumagoro, who was placed in his lap, as they entered, a fleeting shadow of what appeared to be fear crossing his face before it was chased away by a bright smile.

"Nori!" he shouted and scrambled to try and escape the confinement of the sheets wrapped around his legs which only served to tangle him further. "Wahhh! It's got me, Nori! It's got me!"

Tohma saw the flash of emotions on Noriko's face at Ryuichi's behaviour and speech; first the surprise, followed by the shock, then sadness. Still she swiftly schooled her expression to one of calm as she walked forward.

"Really, Ryu," Noriko said evenly, drawing closer to the bed and reaching out to push him down flat and pulling at the sheets that had wrapped around him tightly. "If you carry on like that you know you're going to get into trouble."

Ryuichi lay there, perfectly still, until she pulled the sheets completely free of his body, drawing them fully down to the bottom of the bed and out of the way so there would be no repeat of the problem while Tohma sat in a chair by the window, just watching silently.

"There," she said with a final brisk pat on the folded sheet. "All done."

This seemed to be the cue that Ryuichi was waiting for as he sat up and literally threw himself at Noriko, wrapping his arms around her neck in a fierce hug. Tohma could see the pained look on Noriko's face, the tears shining brightly in her eyes but she hid her face in the crook of Ryuicihi's neck, wiping her tears on his hair whilst her arms encircled his back and held him just as tightly.

"Welcome back," she whispered to him.

Tohma heard Ryuichi's soft response, "Thank you,", in a voice that was just as he used to be.

Suddenly Ryuichi broke away from Noriko's embrace, reaching back and snagging the stuffed toy lying on his bed and thrust it out towards her.

"This is for you," he said hurriedly. "This is Kumagoro. Tohma and me got him for you. Well, actually, it was really me. He's your present. So here!"

Noriko looked down at the toy that although it had been thoroughly cleaned, still showed signs of the hardships it had recently endured. Washing can't wipe away all the stains, Tohma thought sadly. No matter how much you scrub.

"Uhm," Noriko hesitantly reached out and held the toy, obviously trying to find something suitable to say and not certain what that would be. Tohma felt himself half smile. It wasn't often that Noriko was at a loss for words.

"Ah, thank you, Ryu," she finally said, automatically straightening the long ears and smoothing the fur down. "That is very….nice of you."

"Kumagoro is very nice, you know," Ryuichi was saying, now sitting on the bed, knees drawn up as he hugged them to his chest.

Tohma frowned at this, watching as Ryuichi began to slightly rock in place. This wasn't a good sign at all but Ryuichi just kept talking to Noriko.

"You see, he helped me," Ryuichi continued, one hand half reaching out to touch the soft fur but then snatched back before it could. "He's very positive and really good to talk to."

Ryuichi now looked up earnestly at Noriko, eyes wide. "You will look after him properly, won't you? You have to talk to him, and he gets very lonely if he's left on his own, and he doesn't like the dark, and he hates being dirty – unless he can be washed straight away, and you have to pet him, and…."

Ryuichi's words had been getting faster and faster, almost tripping over each other in his desperation to say everything he needed to. Tohma felt his heart clench harder the more he spoke. He knew full well that Ryuichi was speaking about himself and his needs, not the toy's. His hands clenched into fists as the rage built in him again and he wished once more that the monster that had been responsible for this was in front of him so he could wring the life out of him with his bare hands.

Never again, he vowed to himself, the anger burning fiercely within his soul. Never again will I allow anyone to hurt those I love. Not Eiri, not Mika, not Ryuichi, or Noriko, no-one. Never again. I will have the power to prevent that ever happening again!

Noriko reached out and touched Ryuichi's cheek lightly, stopping his words immediately. She smiled at him, a smile that quivered but still a smile as she then ran her fingers through his hair, brushing it back from his eyes gently. She looked down at the toy still in her hands and drew it to her chest, hugging it tightly before placing a kiss on the top of the head. Then she held it out to Ryuichi.

"I think you need to look after him, Ryu," she said quietly. "I'm going to be so busy now. I'm getting married, and I want to start a family, and there's still all my work, I don't think I'll have time to give Kumagoro the attention he deserves. So will you look after him for me? I know he'll be happy with you and I can visit him whenever I want to, can't I?"

Ryuichi looked at the toy, then up at Noriko, his eyes searching her face for answers. For a moment he looked like his normal self; bright eyes shrewd and analyzing. He dropped his eyes back to the toy and slowly raised a hand, reaching towards it as though afraid that it would be snatched away from him but Noriko held it steady. Ryuichi's hand touched the fur and then slowly wrapped around one limb and Tohma could see him squeeze it so tight that his knuckles turned white. Noriko slowly release her hold until Ryuichi held Kumagoro alone. He just as slowly drew the toy close to him, holding it tightly against his face, his eyes fixed on Noriko's face.

"Thank you," he whispered as a tear slid from the corner of one eye to fall upon Kumagoro. "Thank you….for understanding."

Noriko dredged up a smile, although the pain and hurt still shone in her eyes, but she leant forward and waggled a finger in front of Ryuichi's nose and said, "Just you remember that this doesn't mean that you're gonna get away with everything," she half scolded. "You've still got work to do and there's no slacking off!"

Ryuichi smiled now, a broad smile that stretched across his face as he stuck his tongue out at her. Suddenly he laughed out loud, starling her, as he threw Kumagoro towards the ceiling and caught him again. "We're going to be sparkly again, Kuma!" he crowed, bouncing on the bed.

Ryuichi looked over at Tohma now, tilting his head to one side to scrutinize his other friend. "I bet Tohma has already got lots of work for us to do." He let out a loud sigh and pouted. "Tohma's always a slave driver," He now whispered to his toy. "But he does do good stuff." Ryuichi then grinned at Tohma who smiled back in response.

Tohma now stood and brushed his coat down automatically. "Well, I shall leave you two to catch up," he said, walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Noriko asked as she seated herself on the edge of Ryuichi's bed.

"There are some things we need to think about how to deal with. Now that we're back together."

"See, he's a slave driver," Ryuichi whispered loudly to Noriko as he hung over her shoulder.

"You're the beauty and I'm the brains," Tohma responded calmly as Ryuichi giggled.

"So what does that make me?" Noriko frowned at him. "Chopped liver?"

Tohma opened the door and looked back with a warm smile to his two dearest friends.

"You are the heart," he said with a wink and closed the door just in time to avoid the pillow thrown at it.

-oOo-

"Well, that seemed to go rather well," Jim said, reaching up to loosen his tie and undo the top button of his collar. "Ah, finally I can breathe again!"

Tohma smiled at his friend. "I would have thought you would be used to wearing a tie," he said.

"A tie, yes," Jim answered. "Not these monkey suits!" indicating the tuxedo he was currently dressed in.

"I think you look divine," a voice said as Kerryn wriggled in under Jim's arm.

He smiled down at her. "Well, if that's all it takes to impress you ladies then I'm saved."

"Oh, it takes a lot more than that, let me tell you!" she replied archly. "Just you keep that in mind."

"Somehow I don't think you'll ever let me forget," Jim responded with a laugh.

"Ah, there she is!" Kerryn suddenly said, disengaging herself from Jim. "I'm going to go say congratulations to Noriko." She pinned Jim with a piercing look. "Don't you dare move from this spot," she threatened. "I'll never find you otherwise in this crowd!" And with that she disappeared into the throng.

"She's right though," Jim said, looking after his fiancée. "I never expected there to be so many people here." He turned to look at Tohma. "I thought you said you were keeping this a small affair because of Ryuichi?"

"This is," Tohma said, reaching out to lift a glass from the tray that wafted by. Jim already held one in his hand. "Unfortunately we couldn't cancel it completely, not after Noriko had built it up into such a big event. If she had cancelled that would have just raised even more speculation about why she would do such a thing and they would be bound to find out about Ryuichi then. So she and Tetsuya decided to still go ahead with it but just kept it to some of our immediate business associates."

"Yeah, I guess that is the only thing you could do," Jim agreed, looking over the crowd. "But if this is what you call a small affair I would hate to see what it would have been if she had gone all out!" He took another swallow from his glass. "What about your families? How come none of them are here?"

"We'll have the more traditional wedding back home later," Tohma explained. "It would have been too difficult to have everyone over here, and Noriko didn't really want to mix family and business together. She preferred it this way."

"How…convenient," Jim mused.

"What do you mean?" Tohma questioned a little absently as he looked over the crowd before them.

"Was that because it would have been too traumatic for your young charge, Eiri wasn't it, to return to the States? Would it have brought back bad memories?"

Tohma's glass paused at his lips as he stiffened, then he carefully took the sip he had intended before turning to meet Jim's gaze with a calm smile. "If Eiri had come so would all the family and Noriko would much rather keep all the family together to celebrate at home. That's all there is to it."

"Really." Their gaze remained locked for a moment longer then Jim turned away. "Well, I guess she'll have a great time at home seeing everyone again. As I'm sure you will."

Tohma took another sip although it was more of a large swallow. He had almost forgotten after this long of just how he had first met Jim. Obviously Jim hadn't though. It looked like no matter what happened that he would have to continue to remain vigilant around this man. He disliked having to do so. After everything that had happened he truly did consider Jim a friend, not just to himself but also to Ryuichi and Noriko, but he had to acknowledge that Jim was also a detective, which meant that he would probably never stop looking for the truth. Tohma sighed internally. This could become very tiresome.

"So how's Ryu doing?" Jim asked after this moment of silence.

"Better," Tohma answered. "He was excited about singing today."

"He sounded great. According to Kerryn, that is," Jim said. "From where we were sitting he didn't look any different from before."

"When he sings he's just like he used to be," Tohma continued. "It seems that music makes him feel completely safe so he doesn't need any sort of escape."

"Perhaps music itself is his escape?" Jim said shrewdly.

Tohma smiled. "Most likely."

"So how are you going to explain his sudden change in behaviour? He's gonna be seen and spoken to outside of when he's singing and he still carries that damn creepy thing around with him everywhere."

"It's not quite that bad," Tohma indicated mildly.

"Oh yeah?" Jim retorted. "You're not the one who was almost killed with having that thing land on him."

"Ryuichi just thought you should become better….acquainted with Kumagoro."

"I'm a lot happier the further that thing is away from me," Jim said firmly, downing the last of his drink. "Dealing with that whilst driving in heavy traffic aint my idea of a good time!"

"I'll remind Ryu of that next time."

"There better not be a next time!" Jim exclaimed. "I don't think I'd survive. Either from dealing with what ever accident I ended up in, or having to put up with Ryu bawling after because his precious what-ever-it's-called has been shredded!"

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea," Tohma said with a small smile. "He's very attached to Kumagoro."

"Yeah, I know," Jim grumped. "Which is why I don't see how you're gonna be able to cover it up."

"Oh, we aren't going to cover it up," Tohma said evenly. "Surprisingly that is quite easy to deal with."

"How come?" Jim sounded skeptical.

Tohma grinned at his friend. "We're musicians," he said. "We're supposed to be strange and eccentric. If anything, Ryuichi's attachment to Kumagoro has added a new dimension to Nittle Grasper and his appeal. The fans seem to find it rather…sweet."

"Man, fans are just plain weird," Jim shook his head in bewilderment. "So everything has worked out okay?"

"So it would appear," Tohma agreed. "At least at this stage."

"Then, what's next for you?" Jim asked.

Tohma looked over as a loud shout and burst of laughter drew his attention and he could see Noriko and Ryuichi in the midst of something. Watching their actions he guessed that perhaps Ryu had been near the wedding cake, judging from the smears of cream over Kumagoro who hung from one hand, and Noriko wasn't impressed by this. She really shouldn't be using her bridal bouquet to hit him with though, Tohma thought absently, watching the petals fly. Ah, well, at least they were happy as he could see that Noriko was trying to hold back a smile whilst Ryuichi openly laughed as he tried to protect himself from the flowers.

"I really don't know," Tohma finally answered Jim's question. "I think things are going to change from here."

-oOo-

"So what brings you down here?" Jim said, standing as Tohma entered the office he shared with two other detectives.

"I heard the good news," Tohma replied, taking the seat Jim motioned to.

"Good news?" Jim paused in the process of putting some papers down, a puzzled expression on his face.

Tohma smiled at him. "The grapevine bears fruit swiftly," he stated, leaning back.

"Huh? Care to say that in English?"

Tohma chuckled. "I just mean that Kerryn told Noriko who in turn told me."

"Oh," Jim grimaced as he sat behind his desk. "I should have guessed it wouldn't take long."

"Well, the girls do get along rather well."

"I suppose. I just didn't think Kerryn would have talked about this. It's not exactly what you would call 'female conversation' I would have thought."

"She is understandably proud of you," Tohma said, still smiling. "I understand it's quite an achievement to be selected for the FBI."

Jim shuffled some papers, looking a little embarrassed. "Well, yeah, it's good news," he said. "But there's still a long way to go. I'm basically just going to be a rookie again."

"I'm sure you'll do very well, and this is well deserved. Kerryn said it is something you have been working towards for some time."

"Yeah, it was always where I wanted to be, but it's pretty tough getting in." Suddenly a broad smile spread across Jim's face. "Okay, I'm excited," he said, sitting back with a bark of laughter. "So sue me!"

"So what's the next step?" Tohma asked.

"I've got another interview to go to and if all goes well we'll probably look at moving fairly soon."

"Moving?" Tohma hadn't realized that Jim would most likely be leaving.

"Yeah, I'll move to Washington DC for a while. I've already talked it over with Kerryn as to what we should do and she's going to see if she can either get a transfer with the company she's with at the moment or see if they might be able to recommend some places. As soon as she's got a job lined up she'll join me there." He beamed at Tohma. "This is all turning out just great, you know," he almost gushed. "My job, my girl, everything is just working out perfect!"

"I'm very pleased for you," Tohma said sincerely.

"Thanks, man," Jim replied, then suddenly sat forward and leant his elbows on the desk. "So what about you lot? I haven't seen you for a few months."

"You appear to have been rather busy yourself," Tohma said.

Jim ran a hand through his hair, grimacing in distaste. "You remember that little fiasco at the warehouse when we were looking for Ryu?" he asked.

Tohma nodded. How could he forget anything of that time? It was burned indelibly in his mind, every single painful step as he searched for Ryuichi. "Of course."

"Yeah, well now we're dealing with the aftermath. We've had to jump through so many damn hoops trying to block their bought lawyers that it's been damn exhausting. Now we've finally pinned them down. The trial date's been set and locked in and they are out of options and excuses, thank God!" Jim gave a deep sigh. "It's going to be so good to finally see them behind bars and taken down!"

"Glad to see a man enjoying his job," Tohma stated.

Jim rolled his eyes at him. "Look, when you've done this job as long as I have and seen the scum that get's off because of some slimy lawyer that's in the pay of some big boss in organized crime and you just _know_ he did it, you get really pissed off, believe me. So when we finally manage to get one of them, or better yet, a group of them it's almost enough to bring tears to the eyes."

"I never would have taken you for such an emotional man," Tohma said with a smile.

"Hah!" Jim said, sitting back again. "So that's what I've been doing. See, some of us have to actually work so what have you been doing? Enjoying the high life?"

Tohma settled back comfortably. "Hardly," he said. "We have all been rather busy at this time. We have decided that there are…changes to be made."

"What sort of changes?" Jim queried. "Anything to do with a little whisper that I had heard about you starting to set up some business?"

Tohma tipped his head to one side in acknowledgement. "You are well informed."

Jim shrugged. "Not really. Just when your name comes up anywhere I can't help but take notice."

"Do you desire me so much?" Tohma said smoothly.

Jim inhaled so suddenly in shock that he began to choke, coughing violently. When he finally had his breathing back under control he glared at Tohma, wiping away the tears that had streaked his face. "I wish you wouldn't do things like that!" he declared loudly. "I'm not gay!"

Tohma just waved his anger away. "Yes, I know. So you have said numerous times. Anyway, as I was saying, and as you have heard a small bit, Nittle Grasper is making plans for the future."

"Like what?"

"Noriko wishes to begin a family as soon as possible,"

"That's a little sudden, isn't it?" Jim interrupted.

"Not really. She has always wished for such, and her husband is quite a bit older than herself so for him to also be able to enjoy a family it is better for it to be done sooner than later."

"Hmm, I guess so. So how's that going to affect your band?"

"Nittle Grasper will continue to exist for a while longer but we are not intending to tour any more. He have enough material to begin another couple of albums which if we add a little more to means we can release one album for the next two years. I am already making plans back in Japan to begin my own production company so I will be spending more time back there from now on."

"So you'll be able to spend time with your lady friend also?" Jim asked shrewdly. "Isn't it about time you made an honest woman of her?"

"Look who's talking," Tohma countered smoothly. "When are you actually planning to set a date to marry Kerryn, or do you intend to keep her waiting forever?"

"Ouch!" Jim said, one hand clutching his chest as though in pain, then he laughed. "Fair enough, but we are fully intending to get that sorted out as soon as possible, but it's going to have to wait until we move now."

"Kerryn must have a bottomless well of patience," Tohma said.

"So must your Mika," Jim stated.

"Yes indeed," Tohma agreed thinking of his lovely partner. He ached to finally be able to claim her as his own, to know that she was his and his alone. Soon though, he could do that soon.

"So that takes care of Noriko and you, but what about Ryuichi?" Jim asked quietly.

"Ryu still wants to keep singing," Tohma explained. "His musical direction is not fully conducive to Nittle Grasper's image so it is rather perfect to establish himself as a solo artist."

Jim frowned. "Is that wise? Letting him go off on his own?"

"I understand what you are saying," Tohma began. "But he truly is okay. He's perfectly able to take care of himself. It's not like he is going to burn his apartment down, or run out in the traffic. He truly is capable of looking after himself. However," Tohma paused for a moment.

"However?" Jim queried.

"I have begun making enquiries to find a suitable manager for him. It needs to be someone who not only has exceptional skills as a manager for such an artist as Ryuichi Sakuma musically, but also someone who is able to understand and adapt to Ryu's…unique personality now."

"That's a pretty tall order to fill," Jim said.

"True," Tohma agreed. "Even more so with the additional….criteria I am seeking in their abilities."

"Which is?"

"Let's just say that I want them to be fully able to handle themselves in a…difficult situation. And keep Ryuichi safe at all times."

Jim looked at Tohma steadily. "Sounds like you want a bodyguard," he finally said.

Tohma shrugged a little. "In a way. That aspect is as important as their ability to manage the musical arena."

Jim ran a hand through his hair again. "Good luck on finding someone," he said, then chuckled. "Though I don't know where you'll find anyone to meet that bill. They'd have to be fucking nuts to take on the job!"

Tohma smiled. "Well, I do believe that there is always someone for any task, you just have to find the right madman!"

"Too true," Jim began and then was interrupted by the jangle of the phone. "Just a sec," he said as he picked up the receiver.

Tohma absently tapped a finger on his kneed, not expecting Jim to be long but he stiffened when almost immediately he saw a myriad of expressions cross the other man's face. First surprise, then blatant disbelief, then shock, followed by fear. Stark, terrifying fear. The sort of fear that made the eyes widen, the pupils dilate, sweat break out on the brow and the hands shake with reaction. Tohma knew that fear; he remembered it all too well. What now concerned him was why was Jim experiencing it also.

Tohma remained silent as Jim just sat there, speaking in nothing more than monosyllables and then slowly his hand lowered, the phone still grasped in it. He didn't hang it up and even from where he sat Tohma could hear the sound of a disconnected line.

"Jim?" he softly queried, not wishing to startle the man but trying to break through the glazed look that clouded the normally bright eyes.

When no answer came he tried again. "Jim, what is it?"

This time he saw Jim blink, once, then twice and his eyes now focused on Tohma sitting opposite.

"They've," he whispered, his voice cracking, "got…her."

Tohma sat there in silence as he tried to understand what Jim was saying.

"Who?" he asked, trying to prompt the man.

"Kerryn," Jim answered. Tohma could hear the disbelief, the need for it not to be true. "They've… got her."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings: bad language**.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi's dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Unchained Memories: Chapter 12

Tohma could only look at Jim, shock stunning him into silence. What did Jim mean? Kerryn was…taken? By whom? Why? What was going on?!

Jim stared back at him, eyes wide, even slightly glazed still as though the shock was setting back in and freezing him mind, his face dead white. This tableau held for another heartbeat then the phone dropped from Jim's hand as he released it, ignoring it as it struck the desk top, spun and then clattered to the floor. In the time it took to do this Jim had already crossed the room and was out the door.

Tohma leapt to his feet and followed, looking right, then left, seeing Jim running full tilt down the passage towards the back door. His speed wasn't slackening so Tohma took off after him, running also.

He saw Jim push through the back door and put on a burst of speed, stretching his hand out to stop the door from closing, wincing as the heavy metal unforgivingly crushed his fingers. That was going to really bruise no doubt which meant he wouldn't be playing at his best anytime soon. But he hadn't had any choice. For security the door worked on a swipe card to exit. If it had closed, he wouldn't have been able to get out that way on his own. He set his shoulder to the door and pushed, stumbling a little down the steps with his momentum.

Scanning the carpark he saw the flash of lights and heard the screech as a car reversed rapidly. He gauged the distance to the gate and ran across the parking lot. Jim was going to have to slow down to navigate the final turn and trigger the security gate so that is where he intended to intercept him.

He heard the screech draw closer and leapt forward just as Jim rounded the last corner. As the vehicle slowed, Tohma reached out, catching the door handle and pulling, popping the catch so the door swung open, clanging loudly against the car parked at the side even as he managed to avoid it.

He took a couple of running steps, reaching out with one hand to grab the top of the car, the other on the top of the swinging door and using that leverage to support him, lifted both feet from the ground and swung himself into the car feet first, before pulling on the door to help push his body into the car and seat. The door slammed shut, narrowly missing his other hand that he just managed to pull inside and then he leant back, breathing hard.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Jim shouted at him, eyes blazing as he glared at his uninvited passenger. "Get the fuck out!"

"That would be a little difficult just at present," Tohma said calmly as Jim hadn't slowed down any further during this entire process and since he was now past the security gate he had already planted his foot on the accelerator and they were now speeding down the road, weaving between the traffic.

Jim didn't respond, just fixed his eyes now on the road before him, flipping the switch to sound the siren and the flashing light that he had placed prominently in view.

Tohma could see Jim's hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel, so tight that his knuckles were white. His jaw was clenched just as hard so he could see the muscle bunched up on the jaw line, his lips in a thin line. All his concentration was focused forward, on his driving but more so, on his destination. Tohma didn't try and speak to him, just ensured his seatbelt was secured and reached up to hold on tightly as Jim drove well in excess of what Tohma would have considered safe speeds, even for a police vehicle.

It took them very little time before they screeched to a halt outside a building. The wheels had barely stopped turning before Jim was out the door, the keys in his hand in a completely automatic reaction, and the only reason the car door was closed was due to the force of Jim's swing, not because he had taken the time to do so.

Tohma struggled to exit the car swiftly also, not being familiar with these premises having never been to Jim's home and not wishing to lose track of his friend now in the large apartment block. Again he managed to capture the front door before it locked him out; he knew perfectly well that Jim would not be pausing to let him in.

Jim headed immediately up the stairs, ignoring the elevator which read it was still on the 10th floor whilst Tohma followed, thanking everything there was that he at least was fit and healthy otherwise he wouldn't have had a hope of keeping up with the frantic pace Jim was setting.

The climb seemed to go on forever and Tohma could feel the air beginning to burn in his lungs with each breath. He was wondering just how much longer he would be able to keep going when Jim finally veered off and slammed through the stairwell door. They had obviously reached the right floor. Halfway down the corridor, Tohma saw Jim reach a door and disappear from view without a pause. When he reached the same location he could see that the lock of the door was damaged, half torn from the door.

He entered and saw Jim running through the living room, taking note of the disarray the furniture and other items were in. The couches were tipped over, tables overturned, ornaments littered the floor, china and glass shattered, their glittering shards winking in the changing shadows and light. Tohma noted the way pictures had been removed from the walls, backs torn open and the contents ripped out and destroyed, even photo frames suffered the same fate.

"Kerryn!" Jim called, as he looked around the small kitchen off to the side which didn't have a single cupboard unopened and the contents removed, every item strewn carelessly across the floor. Even the pantry had been destroyed, a sheen of spice dust still swirling in the air, stirred up by Jim's passage. There was still complete silence everywhere with no response to Jim's urgent calls. He turned his back on the destruction there, not even seeming to notice it, and headed for the stairs.

Tohma just stood there in the wreckage of the lounge room, staring at his shoes and the flowers scattered around them, their damp ends indicating that they had once resided in a vase, of which the broken remains lay nearby with a spreading stain across the carpet where the water had seeped in.

"KERRYN!" Jim shouted louder as he took the stairs almost three at a time with his long legs. "Kerryn, answer me!"

He pushed the bedroom door open, eyes taking note of the continued destruction, the way clothing had not just been removed from the wardrobes but actually deliberate destroyed, cut or torn so it was unwearable. Amongst the pile of ruined fabric his eye was drawn to a brilliant blue, all that was left of Kerryn's favourite dress, the one she had worn when she had first met Nittle Grasper.

He could see through the open bathroom door that it too had been thoroughly destroyed but he ran there anyway, yanking back the shower curtain so hard he half pulled the railing from the wall so it hung precariously from one screw, almost breathing a sigh of relief that the bath was empty.

He felt his mobile phone then vibrate against his leg. Go away!, he growled in his mind, trying to pull his thoughts together, not needing this distraction.

It vibrated again as he turned and ran down the stairs, shoes slipping dangerously from the spilt creams, shampoo and other liquids he had stepped in on the bathroom floor. He could see Tohma still standing in the middle of the living room. It looked like he hadn't moved. What was he even doing here, the thought now came to Jim. What did this have to do with him?

"Kerryn!" he called again, still hoping against hope that she was here. That somehow he had just missed her or she was hiding, although the practical part of his mind was telling him it was futile, that there was no where she could be hiding in this compact apartment. Still he ignored it, calling again as he reached the base of the stairs, "Kerryn!"

Tohma turned as Jim returned to the living room, still not trying to speak to him, seeing the fear still there in his eyes, the disbelief that this could be happening and the desire to fight against reality just a little longer.

"Fucking hell!" Jim suddenly yelled, startling Tohma at the force behind the expletive more than the actual words although Jim wasn't one for gratuitous use of such language.

He watched as Jim shoved his hand into his trouser pocket, withdrawing his mobile phone, pushing a button and then staring at the screen for a moment. Tohma almost held his breath, sensing the sudden stillness that swept over his friend, freezing him in place. He saw Jim slowly press a button again and then a mere few seconds after the phone rang, the happy bouncy tones jarring in the tense silence.

Jim slowly lifted the phone to his ear and answered in a monotone voice, "Yes?"

Tohma watched as Jim obviously listened to the person at the other end of the call, his eyes narrowing. "Let me speak to her," he finally said and Tohma sucked in a breath as he realized that it must be about Kerryn. "I won't do anything unless I can speak to her," Jim stated firmly, although Tohma could see him bite his lip hard enough for a small droplet of blood to well to the surface.

A look of relief flooded Jim's face as he spoke next, warmth in his voice. "Kerryn," His voice cracked a little. "Are you okay, hon?" Tohma couldn't hear any response but Jim hurriedly spoke again. "I know you're scared, honey, but I'm going to fix it. Trust me." A small smile lifted Jim's lips. "You got that right," he said softly. "Don't worry. Just hang in there and wait for me." His eyes grew brighter then closed for a brief moment. "I love you too."

Tohma then saw all signs of softness vanish and guessed that Kerryn's captor was back on the line. Jim listened in silence, only the occasional response being a 'yes', or 'I don't know'.

Finally he hung up, looking at the phone for the moment before slipping it back into his pocket. When he raised his head his eyes locked with Tohma's and they gazed at each other in continuing silence.

"Want a drink?" Jim finally said in a normal sounding voice that seemed so out of place amidst the destruction strewn around them.

He turned and made his way back into the kitchen, the sound of crunching glass under his shoes frighteningly loud. Tohma followed him, watching as he rummaged through the mess and finally found two mismatched glasses that weren't smashed, although one sported a hairline crack down the side that showed it would have to be discarded eventually.

Jim then returned to the living room, heading for the toppled over TV cabinet to kneel down and tug on one of the small bottom doors that had obviously twisted from the impact and jammed. Finally another hard yank forced it open with a grinding of hinges and scrape of wood against metal. He then leant down so his chin was nearly touching the floor, peering into the dark interior before reaching in and seemed to be feeling around.

"Ah, there it is," he said with a sound of satisfaction. Tohma watched as Jim withdrew a box, almost cradling it reverently. He stood and took a few steps over to the fixed shelf on the wall, placing the glasses on it and opening the box.

Tohma saw him withdraw a bottle and Jim turned with a smile. "Thank goodness they know how to pack this stuff properly," he said, unscrewing the lid and pouring a liberal amount into each glass. The one with the crack immediately showed a tiny droplet of amber lid form on the outside.

Jim held out the intact glass to Tohma, picking up the other for himself. "Better drink it fast," he suggested, taking a deep swallow from his own. "You're gonna have to keep up with me and I'm not about to let any go to waste." He tossed back the rest of the drink and immediately refilled it as Tohma took his first sip.

The liquid burnt down the back of Tohma's throat, yet still it was smooth and stimulated his taste buds. Jim noticed his raised eyebrows of surprise and laughed.

"It's good stuff, right?" He tossed back his second glass, gasping a little at the end and refilled a third time. "Come on," he half demanded, frowning at Tohma. "You some sort of wimp or something? Can't hold your liquor?" He took another long swallow from his glass.

Tohma watched the way Jim's hand was clenched around the glass, the way it applied such force to the fragile receptacle yet that full force was still being held back, contained with such concentration. He could see, no, he could _feel_, the tension in the other man, radiating off him like a palpable force. Jim was holding everything in at the moment.

Jim finished his third drink and refilled for the fourth time but Tohma stepped forward now and reached out, placing his hand over the top of the glass and thus preventing Jim from raising it to his lips. Jim glared at him and Tohma felt the tension, the sense of danger increase a notch.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Jim snarled, eyes narrowed.

"I don't think this will help. Do you?" Tohma said evenly, not removing his hand.

The sense of danger increased again and every instinct of Tohma's was warning him to get away and quickly. Still he remained where he was. He felt Jim shift his weight a fraction and wondered if he had pushed the man too far and he would actually attack him. In some ways he wished he would. It seemed a more natural response to the circumstances than his behaviour at the moment.

Then that sense of danger dissipated and he saw Jim's lip quiver, his eyes growing bright. "Let me," he said quietly, voice cracking, almost pleading. "Let me forget. Just for while."

"But you know you won't," Tohma answered just as softly, looking at Jim with sympathy.

Jim's hand shook now, the liquid splashing against Tohma's palm still placed over the top. "I….can't do this," Jim whispered. "I…don't know what to do!"

The glass dropped to the floor as Jim released it abruptly, ignoring it as it smashed between their feet, glass and liquid splashing across shoes and trousers, as he raised both hands to his face, hiding his eyes. "I don't…" Jim was murmuring between his hands. "I don't…."

Tohma reached out, ready to gather the other man into his embrace, to try and comfort him when Jim suddenly dropped his hands and turned away from him, staring blankly at nothing.

Jim reached into his jacket and withdrew a wallet, flipping it open and Tohma saw a glint of metal as Jim looked down at it intently. He then shut it sharply and tossed it in the wreckage on the ground. It fell open again as it landed and Tohma could see it was Jim's badge and ID.

He watched as Jim reached into his jacket again and this time drew out his gun, running his hands automatically over it, checking it. He said nothing as he went into the kitchen, making his way to the pantry, kicking the mess out of his way.

Tohma trailed after him and watched in surprise as Jim took a knife and carefully levered up a segment of the flooring. Underneath was a safe and he watched as Jim swiftly spun the dial and open the door. He withdrew a large item, wrapped in cloth which he lifted to place on the bench.

"What's that?" Tohma queried.

Jim didn't answer, but as he unwrapped the material Tohma could see that it held another two handguns with various magazines. Tohma frowned as he watched his friend check each item and place them in his pockets before turning and making his way back to the living room.

"Jim…." Tohma began when he was interrupted.

"Go home," Jim said suddenly, walking briskly towards the door, ignoring everything. "Get out of here."

Tohma hurried after him as they headed back to the stairs. "Where are you going?"

"None of your business," was the only answer he received.

Tohma frowned deeply at Jim's stiff back and felt his own anger rise, as well as his worry. He increased his stride and caught up with Jim, reaching out to grab one shoulder and spun him around. He glared up at the taller man, meeting the hard stare that matched his.

"What are you planning on doing?" he said sharply, not releasing his hold on Jim's shoulder.

"I said it's none of your business! Fuck off!"

Jim tried to shrug him off and turn away but Tohma was having none of it, only tightening his grip.

"I am not leaving here, no matter what you say," he said firmly. "What did they say to you? Why are they holding Kerryn?"

"I said…!" Jim took a swing at Tohma who managed to duck under it but was forced to release his hold to escape being hit. Jim turned, obviously intending to continue on his way unimpeded.

"If you don't take me with you I'm going to immediately call your station and tell them everything." Tohma stated clearly, in a voice that carried down the corridor.

Jim paused, his hand wrapped around the door handle of the stairwell access. "Don't you dare!" he spat out as he glared back at Tohma.

"Then take me with you and tell me what we are going to do to fix this," Tohma said reasonably.

Jim's lips thinned, obviously displeased but realizing he didn't have a lot of choice. He struggled with himself for a moment more and then growled out, "Fine! Come on," and he pushed through the door.

Tohma followed him down, their descent a far cry from the mad dash they had made only a short time before. Fortunately Jim's car was still in place, not having been stolen or damaged, despite it not being locked. Perhaps the police light still visible was deterrent enough.

Jim headed for the driver's side when Tohma spoke up again. "Are you all right to drive?", thinking of the three large drinks Jim had consumed in quick succession. That alcohol was going to take effect sooner or later.

"I'm fine," Jim growled, opening the door.

Tohma gave a small shrug. "Well, don't blame me if you have an accident and call attention to yourself."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jim pause and scowl. He then slammed the driver's door shut and stamped around the front of the vehicle to stand beside Tohma, glaring at him. "Then you drive but do it fucking discreetly! You're not even part of the Force and so you're not supposed to be driving it at all!"

"Of course," Tohma said, making his way to the driver's side as Jim slid into the passenger seat, still scowling. "I would suggest that just before we enter the station's parking lot that we change back so no-one will be the wiser?"

"Yeah. Whatever," was the only response he got.

True to his word, Tohma did drive carefully as drawing attention to them really was the last thing he wanted to do. They swapped positions when they reached the station and Jim managed to park the vehicle although it was a near miss so Tohma guessed the alcohol was beginning to blur his judgment. He followed Jim inside and down to his office which was fortunately empty of any other occupants.

Tohma closed the door carefully behind them. "So, are you going to tell me what is happening?"

"Not here," Jim said as he collected some files from his desk, walking to a photocopier in the corner and running a wad of papers through it. Whilst that was happening, he opened and closed filing cabinets, sometimes pulling another file out and flicking through, occasionally removing another sheet to copy.

Tohma just watched these preparations, becoming more and more concerned but realizing it wasn't wise to say anything more at this point. He had blackmailed Jim into bringing him along, he would have to bide his time to find out more.

Once Jim seemed satisfied, he bundled up the papers into a satchel although it caused it to literally bulge at the seams, throwing it over his shoulder, collecting some items that Tohma didn't see from a drawer in his desk, before grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair.

"Let's go," Jim growled, striding from the room. They exited via the back door again but Jim didn't collect a car this time. Instead he made his way further down the street to where his own vehicle was securely parked.

Jim unlocked the car then tossed the keys to Tohma. "You drive," he commanded as he dropped the satchel and his jacket onto the backseat and opened the passenger door.

Tohma got in and started the engine, pulling into the traffic. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"Your place," was Jim's surprising answer.

Tohma didn't question the unexpected request, just made his way to his own apartment block, parking in the bay allocated to him which had never housed a car and lead Jim to his door.

"I'll make some coffee," he said as they entered.

He half expected to have an argument from Jim but instead he just said, "Sure," as he sat down on the couch, the satchel falling at his feet.

Tohma kept a careful eye on him as he moved around in the kitchen. Jim had gone from frantic disbelief, terror, anger, despair and now Tohma wasn't quite certain what emotion he was feeling. All Tohma did know was that he didn't like the way that Jim had just so carefully and yet so swiftly seemed to sever his ties with the police. He had a very bad feeling about this.

The kettle whistled and he quickly made two strong coffees, carrying them back to the living room. Jim had now removed the papers he had brought with him and had them separated into various piles.

"Here," Tohma said, holding one cup out.

"Thanks," Jim answered, reaching out and taking it. His eyes returned to scanning the pages before him as he took a gulp of the coffee.

"Shit!" he exclaimed as the hot liquid scalded his mouth, lurching so further coffee splattered in his lap. "What the hell are you trying to do to me?!"

He glared at Tohma who just raised a brow as he took a far more careful sip from his own cup. "You knew it had just been made so don't blame me for your own inattention." Tohma stated evenly.

Jim continued to glare at him and looked like he was going to say something more but instead turned back to his reading.

Tohma left him like that for a few moments longer, seeing the fixed intensity Jim was giving to his reading, but then carefully put his coffee down out of potential harms way and reached out to turn the page Jim was reading over so the blank back was facing up.

"What the hell..?!" Jim said, reaching out and gripping Tohma's wrist hard. He locked gazes with Tohma. "What twisted game are you playing, you bastard?!"

"No game," Tohma said, ignoring the pain in his hand. It wasn't so much pain from the force of Jim's grip but he was currently holding onto his bruised hand. "Tell me what is going on? And," he held up his other hand to forestall what he knew would be Jim's immediate response. "don't tell me that it's none of my business. I'm here now, so let me help you."

Tohma wondered if this would be enough to get through to his friend when suddenly Jim released his hand. He watched as Jim ran his fingers through his hair, with a hand that shook.

"Start at the beginning," Tohma suggested, sitting back. "Who called you at the station and told you about Kerryn?"

He saw Jim tense up again at the mention of his fiancee's name but then saw him take a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"Remember what I had just been telling you about that mafia bust?" Jim said, his voice sounding almost conversational.

Tohma nodded. "Yes."

"It's them," Jim continued. "They want to make the case 'go away' against their members. They took Kerryn to ensure I went along with it."

"But why Kerryn?" Tohma asked, still a little perplexed. "How did they know about her? And you?"

"That's not that hard to find out. My name as the senior officer running this case is all right there for everyone else to see. That means their lawyers have my name straight off. It wouldn't be that hard for them to find out where I live and about Kerryn." He smiled without humour at Tohma. "Our lives become an open book in these circumstances. If I had thought for one moment that any of this could spill over to affect Kerryn I would have organized some protection."

"Have you had to do that before?"

"A couple of times," Jim admitted. "Just as a precaution. Kerryn didn't know about it."

"So do they normally do it this way?" Tohma queried. "I mean, this action does seem a little extreme. I would have thought they would have tried to speak to you first, try to bribe you perhaps. Be more subtle."

Jim gave a twisted grin. "Subtle isn't one of their strong points. Perhaps they didn't think we would be able to get this far to make the case stick so we caught them unawares. We're basically at the death knock now so time has run out for them."

"So they chose to go straight for the heart of the matter to force your hand." Tohma summed up.

Jim nodded. "Looks like it." He took another sip from his cooling coffee. "They're making certain to put the most amount of pressure on me so I do as they say and get this thing thrown out of court."

"Can you do that?" Tohma asked out of curiousity.

"Sure," was Jim's surprising answer. "I just need to mess up some key evidence or contaminate the case in some way which will cast doubt on the whole circumstances. That would probably be enough for their lawyers to have the whole lot squashed and them acquitted."

"Is it really that simple?"

Jim gave a small bitter laugh. "Not really," he agreed. "It would probably destroy, or at least damage the reputation of a number of cops involved."

"And what about you?"

"Me? I could definitely kiss any hope of getting into the FBI that's for sure. In fact I'd probably be busted back to a beat cop for the rest of my term in the Force. That's if I wasn't suspended immediately upon investigation by Internal Affairs."

He turned a twisted grin towards Tohma again. "In other words, I'd be history and my name would be mud. Or I'd be in jail instead."

"So you, and many others, would suffer instead if you did what they ask?" Tohma summarized.

Jim nodded, taking a sip from his coffee. "Yep, that about covers it."

"Could you really live with yourself if you allowed that?"

Tohma saw Jim's hands tighten around the cup. "Of course not, but I'm running out of options!" He turned to look at Tohma. "You don't know these guys. You don't know what they are capable of. I do. I've seen the aftermath of their 'business' – the really bloody messes they leave. If they say they'll kill Kerryn if I don't do what they say they mean it. There's no bluffing, no negotiating."

"I don't doubt it," Tohma said, "But there's got to be other options also."

Jim reached out and flipped over the page Tohma had turned. "Only if I can figure out where they might be holding Kerryn and get in there quickly and get her out of this mess."

"That could take some time," Tohma stated the obvious.

"I know," Jim half growled. "But it's the only thing I can do."

Tohma chewed on his bottom lip for a moment in thought. He guessed that Jim probably wasn't thinking very clearly at the moment, emotion perhaps clouding his normally cool judgment so he felt it was up to him to try and prompt Jim to think beyond that emotion and put his vast skill and knowledge of police work to use.

"Is there anything you can do to…delay things at this stage? Legally that is," He added hurriedly. "Anything that would make it seem like you are doing what they ask?"

Jim looked over at him, reaching up and scratching at his chin. "I guess there are a couple of things," he finally said slowly, obviously running through various scenarios in his mind as he was speaking. "There's not a lot but, yes, perhaps."

"Enough to gain you a couple of days so we might have a chance of finding something amongst this?" Tohma asked, waving at the pile of papers.

Jim half smiled at him. "My friend, this here is tonight's reading. From tomorrow, it's field work. Welcome to my world."

Tohma rolled his eyes. Now he understood why Jim had sometimes looked like death warmed over if this was the amount of work he had to try and get through in one sitting. He was already developing a new appreciation of the work his friend did – and he hadn't even begun doing any of it himself!

"So you think that could work?" Tohma asked.

"It just might," Jim looked lost in thought for a moment. "Give me a sec and I'll make some phonecalls and see what I can get on with."

"How are they going to know that you are doing something about this?" Tohma asked with a little concern. "Are they watching you?"

Jim grimaced then shrugged. "I'm not sure but I can't guarantee anything. My only hope is that they don't know anything about my association with you so won't have any idea I would be here. The other very bad possibility is that there's a mole at the station who's been keeping tabs on me which wouldn't be good."

"Is that likely?" Tohma queried.

"Don't know. Really hate to think that is the case but I can't dismiss it entirely." Jim ran a hand through his hair again. "They said they would be in touch so the next time they call I should be able to get something out of them as to just how closely they are watching me. I doubt they expect me to return to the apartment but that might mean that I'll have to book into a hotel for appearances sake. Just to keep them off my back."

Tohma suddenly thought of something "By the way, how did they get your mobile number?" he asked.

"Although it is a private number," Jim said, scanning his phone's screen as he scrolled down. "it still wouldn't be hard to get. These people have a lot of contacts they can draw on usually." He looked up and met Tohma's eyes, his face serious. "But they most likely took it directly from Kerryn's phone. She would have had it on her."

"Wasn't she taken at home?" Tohma said with surprise. "I wouldn't have thought she would have been carrying it then."

Jim pressed a button and held the phone to his ear, shaking his head in answer to Tohma's question. "That little display at the apartment was nothing more than a warning. And probably just to check if I had left any papers to do with the case at home. No, Kerryn was snatched when she left work this afternoon. Of that I'm sure."

"Did they tell you that?"

"No, and Kerryn did have the chance, but since I've had no call from her work saying she had gone missing it must have been done then. So she would have had her bag with her, which meant she had her phone. And so they have my number." Jim held up his hand and quickly said, "Hold on a sec,", before turning and speaking to the person who had answered.

Cat and mouse, smoke and mirrors, that's what this all is, Tohma thought as Jim continued making calls. He only half listened in on the conversations as he really didn't understand everything Jim was saying. It was obviously to do with police procedures as well as legal requirements and he would rather leave all of that up to Jim who was the expert.

When Jim hung up from the last call he said, "That's it. At least that's all I can do at the moment to set things in motion. Now I've just got to wait for them to contact me."

"Well then," Tohma said, leaning forward and pulling one of the piles closer towards him. "Until that time what am I looking for in here?"

Jim returned to sit on the couch beside him, reaching for the papers himself. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked in a low voice, not looking at Tohma.

Tohma reached out and touched the back of Jim's hand lightly, making him look at him.

"I'm not leaving you alone to do this," he said firmly. "You returned something that was very precious to me. Now I will help return the favour."

Jim gave a sharp nod and gave Tohma's hand a brief squeeze, surprising him for Jim wasn't one for overt displays of affection, and certainly not towards another man.

"Thanks," Jim said. "Now get your hands off me, pervert."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings: bad language**.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi's dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Unchained Memories: Chapter 13

Click. Click. Click.

Tohma glanced over at the man leaning on the other side of the window, the only illumination in the room from the dim lighting that came through the glass and filmy curtain from the street lights outside.

"You could go into the kitchen and smoke," he said quietly, thinking that was the cause for the constant fidgeting.

"Nah, it's fine," Jim answered absently, bending to peer through the telescopic binoculars set up.

Click. Click. Click.

Tohma sighed, loudly enough to catch Jim's attention.

"What's up?" Jim asked, sounding surprised.

"Jim, you haven't had a cigarette all day that I have seen so if you feel the desire to smoke, please just go and have one."

"I said it was okay," Jim replied, sounding peeved. "What's your problem?"

"That constant clicking for one," Tohma answered a little sharply.

"Huh?"

Tohma rolled his eyes, knowing that Jim wouldn't be able to see it and tried to keep his irritation under control although after nearly eighteen hours of this close confinement even his normally calm temperament was beginning to fray.

"You have been doing nothing all day except continuously open and then close your cigarette lighter. It has become a most annoying habit."

"Oh," Jim looked down at the lighter in question in his hand. "Oh." He pushed it into his pocket out of sight. "Sorry."

"Is that really going to solve the problem?" Tohma asked.

"What do you mean?" Jim looked over at him again.

"Well, you are obviously wanting to have a cigarette so why don't you just have one. Then you would be less likely to feel on edge."

Jim shook his head. "No. I'm trying to quit."

"Since when?" Tohma asked in surprise. From the time they had first met Jim had always smoked. He wasn't exactly a chain smoker but he did smoke fairly regularly.

"I promised Kerryn that if we had kids I'd give it up."

"But you don't have any children yet?"

"No, but if we do I would rather not be trying to go through the withdrawal right at the same time. It's better if I'm already over it before they come along." He turned and flashed a smile towards Tohma. "I think kids are going to be stressful enough without quitting smoking at the same time!"

"That's probably a wise choice," Tohma acknowledged, thinking of how difficult it had been for Mika to take over the raising of her younger brothers.

"Let's grab a quick break," Jim suddenly said, turning and making his way towards the darkened kitchen.

Tohma followed and closed the door securely behind them. It had been carefully modified so that when closed rubber strips sealed the entire edges between door and frame so when Jim clicked on the tiny single globe not a sliver of light could leak to the outer room to reveal their presence.

Tohma immediately filled the kettle and turned it on, rinsing their two cups and drawing the milk out of the fridge.

"So do you think we'll find this man tonight?" he asked, spooning coffee into the cups, and some sugar for Jim.

"I hope so," Jim answered.

He sounded tired which didn't surprise Tohma. His friend had been playing a stressful and extremely dangerous game over the past couple of days, enough to fray anyone's nerves. That was why it had surprised Tohma so much to realize that Jim hadn't been smoking. The pressures over the past forty-eight hours had been enough to almost make him wish he had the same habit. Anything to take away the stress.

After retreating to Tohma's apartment, Jim hadn't been exaggerating. They had stayed up that entire night, reading through every page Jim had brought with him, comparing notes, discussing possibilities. Tohma had watched in amazement as Jim stuck blank sheets of paper to one of his walls, almost plastering an area approximately six foot high and almost as wide across which he then proceeded to draw up charts on, each symbol containing a piece of information; a name, a date, a location, then arrows and lines of different types such a solid, broken or wavy ones, joining these all together and each having a different meaning. Tohma could only look on with wonderment as Jim seemed to effortlessly create a picture from these seemingly unimportant and unrelated facts, bringing them together so the puzzle slowly became clearer. Tohma was definitely gaining a far greater appreciation of just what it took to carry out Jim's job.

By the middle of the next morning Jim seemed reasonably satisfied, looking tiredly down at the list in his hand of names and places he had decided where their best options. Tohma was just glad to note that Jim seemed more focused and stable once again, and certainly thinking more clearly.

"This gives a good starting point," he explained to Tohma. "If we can get any of these people to talk we might just start getting closer to what we need."

"Will they talk to you?" Tohma had asked, rubbing at his itching eyes. "You said that they would be very scared of retribution if they did."

Jim looked at him with a nasty smile. "You've just got to make them more scared of you, than what they think might happen to them later on."

Tohma wasn't sure he liked the way Jim said that but he was too tired to try and continue to argue the point at this stage.

Suddenly Jim's phone rang, vibrating on the table top. They both just sat there and watched as it rang again, and then continued. Jim reached out and picked it up, answering "Yes?"

That harsh look crossed his face and Tohma knew it was Kerryn's captor again.

"I'm doing it," Jim answered shortly. "You'll hear something by the end of today as proof." There was obviously some further words spoken to him and then he hung up without saying anything further.

"And?" Tohma queried quietly.

"They wanted to know where I was," Jim said, looking down at the phone.

"Does that mean there is someone at your station working for them?" Tohma asked worriedly.

Jim shook his head. "Not necessarily. It could just mean that they've got someone watching the station and would see that I haven't gone in yet. They probably know my car as well."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I could call in sick," Jim said, running a hand through his hair. "There's nothing pressing for me to do for anything else and I've got plenty of sick leave owing. But if I don't go in it may look like I'm trying to renege on the deal. Or be trying to counter them."

"Which you are," Tohma reminded him.

"Yeah," Jim said with a strained smile. "But I don't want them to think that. So I think I will go in, put in an appearance, make certain those couple of calls have got things moving and keep the bastards guessing."

"What did you mean when you said they would know by the end of today?" Tohma wanted to know.

"Just that the lawyer for the perps would have to be called by the end of the day for the requested stay in proceedings, pending some further enquiry by the prosecutors. It's the only thing I could do on such short notice that would produce some results. They've got enough lawyers in their pockets to know that it's about the only thing I could do so quickly without screwing everything up. If I do anything to mess up this case too obviously and too quickly the courts will just still hold the perps and try and go ahead with the trial on the grounds that they are trying to subvert the course of justice. They need it to be definitive enough that the case can't proceed, and quietly enough that their own people can't still be caught in any backlash."

"So you think they'll be satisfied with that?"

"For the time being, probably. That should hold them for at least two days. After that..." Jim shook his head. "After that, all bets are off and I had better have come up with a damn good plan at that stage."

Jim picked up his jacket which had been dropped on the floor at some point during the night. He gave it a good shake and then looked down at his crumpled clothes, running a hand over his stubble, grimacing.

"Why don't you have a shower and freshen up before you go in?" Tohma offered.

"Thanks, but no," Jim ran another hand over his roughened chin. "If they do have someone watching the station my turning up looking like this might just keep their suspicions down."

"I don't follow you," Tohma said, frowning.

"After kidnapping Kerryn they would expect me to look like shit," Jim explained, shrugging into his jacket. "They probably know I haven't stayed at the apartment and they ruined all my clothes there so I wouldn't have anything to change into. Looking like this gives the impression that I might have been driving around town all night, and most likely slept in the car. If they think that I'm desperate and homeless, they'll think I'm more malleable to their demands."

"That's all well and good to fool them," Tohma agreed. "But aren't your colleagues going to wonder about your current state and won't that arouse their worries?"

"Don't stress," Jim said, making his way to the door. "I've got a change of clothes in my locker so I'll shower and change as soon as I get in before pretty much anyone there sees me." He opened the door and stepped out. "Oh, and I'll check into a hotel after work so if they are tailing me I don't lead them back here. I'll call you from there."

"Okay, be careful."

"Thanks. If anything strange happens around you, call me immediately." He fixed Tohma with a hard stare. "I mean it, Tohma," he stressed. "The slightest thing that seems out of place or odd in any way let me know. It might mean that you're compromised as well and I don't need anyone else being made a target."

"I promise," Tohma agreed.

"Good. Talk to you later."

Tohma watched until Jim had disappeared from view down the stairs before closing the door. His eyes wandered back to the lines and symbols intertwined on the paper stuck on the wall. Oh, what a tangled web we weave, he mused absently, his eyes trying to follow each path way and frequently being drawn from the original line. Now I understand when they talk about a tangled skein.

He turned from the wall diagram and carefully gathered up all the papers strewn across the coffee table, couch and floor, stacking them together, bagging them and securely tying them with string before placing them inside the coat cupboard out of sight.

Now he was going to have a decent coffee and finally go to bed.

The whistle of the kettle quickly brought him back to the present and he filled the cups, stirring them vigorously.

"Here you go," he said, handing one over to Jim.

Jim immediately took a deep swallow finishing with a sigh. "That's good," he murmured. "Hopefully it'll keep me awake for a while longer."

"How much longer do you think we are going to have to wait?" Tohma asked.

Jim shook his head. "No idea," he answered honestly. "I'm hoping we'll get lucky as all things points to this guy knowing something. He's one of their main 'gophers'. Does anything they want and knows just about everything about them in some way."

"He sounds like a dangerous man to leave loose if they are so concerned with secrecy." Tohma stated.

"Nah, he's completely gutless. That's why they know they can control him. As long as he gets paid he'd sell his soul, and his mother's, to the devil, plus take out collateral on it. He's a weasel through and through. But if something's gone down he's the most likely one to know about it and what he knows should lead us right to where we want to be."

Tohma blew on his coffee, cooling it a little before taking a sip. "So it might all be over soon."

"Hopefully," Jim nodded. "I damn well hope so."

Tohma looked at his friend and gave him a small smile. "I'm sure you will succeed. You have great tenacity, and obviously a true gift for this type of work. You will be a great credit to the FBI I am sure."

Jim grinned wryly. "Why thank you," he said with a mock bow. "As long as they don't call me out on some of the cases I've been involved in lately that have a few, shall we say, not so glowing moments."

Tohma leant on the counter top to take some weight off his tired feet. "What would those be?" he asked out of curiousity.

"Oh, the fact that a civilian turned up at a shoot out in the Sakuma case for one," Jim said in an off-hand manner.

"Oh yes, that," Tohma looked at the ceiling as he took another sip.

"Yes, that," Jim confirmed, narrowing his eyes. "I could still get into strife over that if anyone finds out about it."

"Well, that is just one small incident and it was all satisfactorily resolved in the end so surely they could not complain too greatly about it?" Tohma half-protested. "And it was not like you actually knew that I was there so I can't see how they could place any blame upon you."

"You would be surprised what they might think," Jim said darkly. "They probably would say that I should have kept a closer eye on you to make certain you didn't meddle." He frowned at Tohma. "Which is exactly what I should have done if I had known for one minute you would pull such a stunt!" He shook his head at the memory. "My heart still nearly stops whenever I remember how damn close you came to being nothing but another stat in the morgue."

Tohma grinned at him. "Sorry. But it does touch my heart to know how much you care."

"Yeah, yeah," Jim replied, rolling his eyes at the remark. "You've been a rather nasty thorn in my side for some time now," he said, shaking a finger at Tohma.

"Now that is hardly fair," Tohma denied. "Apart from that one incident, I haven't been involved in anything else that could have caused you difficulties."

"What about that small case of a supposed drug deal gone wrong, a dead tutor, and a mysteriously absent minor at the time, hmm? All with _very_ strong connections to you."

Tohma stiffened. Damn it, Jim was doing it again. Did he never give up?

"That case has been settled, if my knowledge serves me," he replied evenly, not letting any emotion apart from calm enter his voice.

"True," Jim said in an off-hand manner as though they were discussing nothing more than the weather. "At least the local authorities believe so. They have this thing usually about not upsetting people with clout if they can help it."

"That seems a little derogatory of you towards your fellow officers," Tohma said. "Are you implying they are swayed by money and fame?"

"Nah, not really. There's plenty of honest cops in the city. Just the higher you go, the more complicated the politics get." He looked Tohma up and down for a moment. "And you did play the media to your advantage, not ours in that case. The quicker that case got wrapped up, the happier the big boys were gonna be."

"However, from the inquest I do believe that all the evidence and facts gathered were presented more than adequately for a valid judgment to be made," Tohma countered.

"Oh, it certainly was," Jim agreed. "Except we couldn't exactly lay our hands on someone who could have been a very important character witness, could we? And some of the facts, well, they really didn't all quite match up. At least not in my books."

Tohma licked his lips briefly, startled to find them so dry. He was obviously a little more nervous about this conversation than he had realized.

"So if you were not so sure, why was there no further investigation?" he asked, actually really wondering about this now.

Jim stretched, rolling his neck from side to side for a moment. "Because there didn't seem any point in trying to follow it up. I couldn't make anyone else think that there was more to the whole thing than what they had come up with, and I wasn't the official case leader on that one so I couldn't make that call. Not to mention that I had no luck finding anyone prepared to submit a summons to get a Japanese minor back into the country."

Tohma sucked in his breath in surprise. He hadn't known anything about that. Jim caught his eye and nodded slowly as he said, "I know. Because I tried." He held Tohma's gaze a little longer. "So that's how it all went down. Of course, if it had become a Federal case I'm not so sure that it would have all been so neatly wrapped up so quickly though," and he gave a half-shrug. "Who knows, perhaps it still would have. The FBI are only human after all."

Jim topped up his cup from the still steaming kettle, seeming to ignore the silent Tohma.

"So, in the end, it's still case closed," he said, throwing a glance towards Tohma. "I've just got one question."

"What?" Tohma said with a strained voice.

"Did you do it?" Jim suddenly said, facing him directly now.

Tohma stared at him, surprised at how forthright Jim was being when up till now he had always done nothing more than allude to that incident, and also that he truly did still suspect him directly. Did Jim truly think he was capable of murder? Well, in truth perhaps he was a better judge of character than he knew, Tohma thought silently. Twice now he had found himself in almost killing rages; the first with Eiri, the second with Ryuichi. Truly, if the opportunity had been there for him he may very well have killed at either time. Yes, perhaps Jim knew him better and what he could be capable of more than he even knew himself.

"No," he finally said firmly. "I can tell you, in all honesty, I did not kill anyone."

Jim looked back at him steadily, not breaking his gaze. Then he nodded. "Yeah, I believe you." He finished the last of his coffee and walked to the sink to rinse the cup, turning it over to drain.

Whilst his back was turned he spoke again. "Did your ward do it?"

Tohma looked at Jim's back, not wishing to lie to this man whom he counted as a friend yet nor he could he ever tell him the truth.

"What do you want me to say?" he finally said softly. "Either way, will you truly know if it is a lie or the truth?"

Jim remained where he was, hands resting on the edge of the sink then he slowly turned to face Tohma.

"You're right," Jim said then. "You keep your truth. And I'll keep mine." He grinned then, lightening the mood. "No good will come of it either way now, will it?"

Tohma smiled back, stepping forward to rinse his own cup. "That is very true," he agreed.

"Turn the light off and let's get back to our post," Jim instructed.

"You just want to get me in the dark," Tohma said in a simpering voice.

"In your dreams, buddy," was Jim's answered as Tohma flicked the switch and the room plunged into darkness again. "In your dreams."

-oOo-

Tohma shrugged his shoulders in his thick jacket, lifting his hands to turn up the collar against the draft that ran through the room. The nights were definitely getting colder. He was sure that come morning he would be aching all over. Oh, what he wouldn't give for a soft, warm bed right now was his thought as he covered a yawn.

"We've got movement," Jim said quietly, eyes still fixed to the binoculars.

Tohma peered through the window towards the street but could make out nothing more than a shadowy shape that only was visible as it crossed the dim light spilling over the pavement from the lights.

"Is it him?" he asked.

"Yep," Jim said straightening up and swiftly walking into the other room, and opening the window. This one joined onto the fire escape and they both quickly made their way down to the street level.

"Can you still see him?" Tohma asked.

"Come on," Jim simply said and ran across the street and continued along the pavement, only slowing when he came to the corner.

Tohma pulled up behind him as Jim looked around the corner carefully. "Bingo!" Jim said with satisfaction. "We've got to be careful now," he cautioned, stepping out and beginning to walk again.

Tohma fell into step beside him and now he could see the figure of someone walking ahead of them, heading in the same direction. There were a few people still on the streets, although it was the now the very early hours of the morning, but not too many so they could easily keep track of their quarry.

They turned around another couple of corners and now Tohma began to notice a change in their surroundings. The streets seemed narrow, although that could have been a trick of his mind, and they felt older. Or perhaps, more used would be a better description. He didn't know if this was an old part of town or not but there definitely was a change in the atmosphere.

"Watch yourself now," Jim's soft voice said, confirming Tohma's thoughts. He didn't expand further and Tohma felt no need to ask more. That one warning was enough.

There seemed more people now, here in this area, although many of them weren't upright, nor was he even certain all of them were breathing. The smell of urine, alcohol and a dozen more unsavoury aromas assaulted his senses as they cut through alleys. He had to step over more than one body sprawled across the ground or propped up against the wall, although he could never fully discern the garbled shouts that followed them.

A few streets along the atmosphere changed again, now with tired looking females smoking on street corners, the glitter of their skimpy clothes falsely promising delights that he was sure few of them could deliver. As they passed them, he could see some were far younger than should be here, others much older and trying to conceal it behind heavy make-up. He and Jim ignored the called invitations and offers to sample the wares – at a discount price due to the late hour.

Only a block further and around another corner more of this continued, although now the denizens were male. Despite the cold the youths wore little to no clothing on their torsos, baring midriffs and chests for their clients to view, usually only sporting collars and chains draped over their skin or piercing nipples. They passed more than a few locked in embraces and to Tohma's brief glance it wasn't with a client but with each other. He guessed that was one way to keep warm whilst you were waiting. He turned his head from one couple as one hand pushed trousers lower to bare the top of pale buttocks and the hand continued to slide lower beneath the material before the recipient of that caress arched back with a moan.

Jim and he continued walking and Tohma wasn't even certain if Jim had noticed anything of their surroundings or if he was so completely focused on his target all else had faded from his view. Perhaps Jim was so used to this environment that it didn't even register any more.

"Shit!" Jim suddenly said under his breath. He stopped and turned to face Tohma, hunching his shoulders.

"What?" Tohma stopped as well.

"He's coming back, damn it!"

Jim furtively looked around them but there was no where they could go easily without obviously drawing attention to themselves. Now Tohma could see the man they had been tailing drawing closer. They had to do something - fast.

Deciding quickly, Tohma shrugged his coat from his shoulders, letting it slither to the ground around his feet. Underneath he was wearing what he could call 'normal' clothes yet he knew it would be considered a little flamboyant to others. The white long sleeved shirt had a frill around the neckline which came in a v-shape midway down his torso. It hung loose over his low slung trousers around his hips. He had only worn such a loose shirt because it had been stifling during the day in the unaired room they had been locked in till now.

Reaching out he grasped the lapel of Jim's coat, pulling him hard so he was jerked off his feet, almost falling against Tohma who stepped back so his spine was pressed up hard against the wall. Jim's hands both came up to slap against the wall on either side of his head so the taller man didn't crush him. Tilting his head up he pressed his lips against Jim's, his other hand sliding around his friend's neck and gripping his hair hard at the nape to hold him in place.

He heard and felt the startled gasp from Jim as their lips met, plus the tensing of muscles but he just held on tightly, keeping his eyes open and fixed on Jim's, trying to warn him to not make a scene. Jim still remained tense but made no further move to break away and so Tohma let his half-closed gaze drift over Jim's shoulder to watch their suspect.

He had no way of knowing if the man suspected them or not. He watched as the man drew nearer to where they stood, saw his gaze settle on them for a moment and the brief sneer of distaste that curled his lips, before he turned his head to spit into the gutter, mumble something of which the only world Tohma caught was 'fags', then he crossed the street and headed down the alley there.

Tohma held Jim in place a while longer, watching carefully to be certain the man wasn't coming back. When it seemed that they were safe he released his grip and Jim immediately stumbled backwards, one hand coming up to his mouth.

"Fuck you!" he snarled, scrubbing at his lips with the back of his hand. "Did you have to do that?!"

"Be thankful I didn't use tongue," Tohma said mildly, reaching down to retrieve his coat, giving it a shake and slipping it on. He was already shivering now that Jim's body warmth had left him.

"Gah!" Jim half-gagged at that thought. "If you had I would have cracked your nuts!"

"Now that would have given us away completely," Tohma pointed out.

"I wouldn't have cared!" Jim gave his mouth another rub, closing his eyes for a moment with a shiver. "You could have warned me!"

"There was no time. Are you saying you would have been fine with it if I had given you some notice?"

"No! What the hell made you chose _that_ as our cover?" Jim turned and looked across the street.

Tohma came to stand beside him. "Well, considering the area we are in and the activities of some of the other….inhabitants, it seemed the only thing that wouldn't be considered unusual."

Jim glanced down at him and grimaced. "You're probably right about that," he admitted grudgingly. He turned back to the alley. "He went down there?"

"Yes," Tohma nodded.

"Come on then. We don't want him to get too far ahead of us."

Jim crossed the street with Tohma beside him.

"Do you think he suspected us?" Tohma asked. "Is that why he came back?"

"I don't think so," Jim answered. "It might have just been a normal precaution of doubling back in case he was being followed. Or he might have just missed the turn." He shrugged. "Either way I don't think he spotted us as tailing him."

"Well, that is a good thing. I don't think we could convincingly pull that move off again if he sees us a second time. I think even he would become suspicious of a gay couple who always seemed to be locked in an embrace where ever he was." Tohma skipped delicately over a puddle of liquid that he really didn't want to know what it was considering the foul smell that arose from it.

"You're damn right about that!" Jim said, throwing a glare at him. "There is no _way_ I'm going through _that_ again!"

"Then I think you are quite safe."

They walked in silence for a moment more when Tohma spoke again.

"Was it really that bad?" he asked quietly.

"What?" Jim responded absently, still looking ahead.

"The kiss," Tohma pressed. "Did you really dislike it that much?"

"Why would I…" Jim began, turning to look at Tohma with an expression of exasperation but then paused, halting what he had been about to say.

Tohma raised a brow. "A kiss is a kiss, with either male or female. It is only about the meaning and intensity that is given to the kiss which changes it into something else." He tipped his head to one side as he continued to look at his friend. "Was our kiss so terrible?"

"This is not the time or place to talk about kissing?!" Jim said, beginning to turn away.

"Why?" Tohma quietly asked, halting Jim's departure. "Isn't it a simple answer? Either yes, it was terrible; or no, it wasn't. Which is it?"

Jim didn't speak for a time, nor did he try to walk away. Tohma just looked at the broad back presented to him. He was far more used to these ambiguous feelings which could be directed at either a man or a women, or both. He was equally sure that Jim had never had to deal with such things before.

"If I answer you will you shut up about it, and never raise it again?" Jim asked suddenly.

"If that is what you wish," Tohma answered.

The silence settled between them again.

"It wasn't bad," Jim said almost breathlessly as though he had to try and force the words out in a rush or not say them at all. "Now hurry up!" and he began walking briskly away so rapidly that Tohma was forced to jog to initially catch up.

"Thank you for being so honest," Tohma said when he fell into step beside Jim.

"No sweat. Just don't ever ask me again."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings: bad language, violence, death**.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi's dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Chapter 14

They rounded another corner when Jim said almost happily, "There he is!" and Tohma could see the man turn towards the waterfront. "That, I think, could be a good place to pin him down. Come on."

They hurried along, trying to not lose sight of their man yet also not make it obvious to anyone observing that they actually were following that particular person.

As Tohma walked swiftly by Jim's side he felt the frown creasing his brow. He stole another side-long glance at this friend and the frown deepened.

He had felt a growing unease over the last few days. To all appearances Jim seemed fine. He had approached this as he would any job he had to do. He had thought everything through, planned for all contingencies he could think of, developed a plan of attack and carried it out. He continued to go to work, arriving for his shifts at the station, carrying out his everyday tasks, always aware that there could be a mole planted watching his every move so doing nothing to arouse suspicion. He continued to take the necessary steps that could delay the proceedings exactly as ordered As long as the criminals thought they were getting what they wanted, they would continue to be lulled into thinking that he was cowered. Every night he returned home and answered the call that came to him from Kerryn's kidnappers, asking for an update on his actions, playing the part of the desperate boyfriend.

Around that he would meet with Tohma fugitively, ensuring that no-one followed him or saw them together, so they could discuss their next step. They worked behind the scenes, trying to come up with some leads on where Kerryn might be being held and rapidly making progress although it meant both of them had to forgo sleep. Jim spent many long hours on the phone, calling in favours from any number of informants he had built over the years, slowly gathering information that might be useful.

As an extra insurance, Jim had told Tohma that he had also made some additional 'arrangements', just in case something happened to him, which Tohma hadn't found reassuring in the least.

When Tohma worriedly questioned the wisdom of doing so Jim had replied, "Don't worry. I left it with a good friend," he said with a reassuring smile. "Brian will only look at it if something happens to me. I trust him on that."

"Are you certain?" Tohma had queried.

Jim nodded, "Absolutely. If there is one person I would trust with my life, it's Brian."

Tohma had let the topic drop then. He had to trust that Jim truly did know what he was doing.

However, that extra 'insurance' was not what made him concerned. Why his worry had increased for his friend was exactly this calm manner that Jim now went about everything. Since that first moment when Jim had learnt that Kerryn had been taken, when Tohma had seen his friend go from complete shock, terrified disbelief, to crushing despair, since then Jim had been nothing but calm. Somehow Tohma felt it was wrong for Jim not to show any other emotion since. He barely mentioned Kerryn's name even since that time as though afraid of saying it. Tohma couldn't help but wonder what would happen when all those pent up emotions bubbled to the surface.

The man ahead slipped between some crates piled high on the dock and Jim slowed, holding up a finger to his lips to caution Tohma to silence. Tohma watched as Jim withdrew his gun, clicking the safety off before sliding it back into his pocket as he carefully moved forward.

Jim motioned Tohma to wait, which he did, and moved forward on his own. He could see his suspect leaning over a crate, crowbar in hand as he slid it under the lid.

"Busy, Larry?" Jim said, stepping out from the shadows and startling the man so much that he jumped back in surprise, the crowbar falling to the ground in a clatter as it was dropped.

"Ah...oh…er, Detective Harris," The man struggled to put on a smile as though he was unconcerned by Jim's sudden appearance. "How are you? Fancy meeting you here."

"Yes," Jim said, "It's been quite a while, hasn't it? Isn't it a bit late for work?" Jim stepped forward and kicked the crowbar well away, sending it spinning across the ground into the darkness.

Larry's eyes followed it as it vanished from sight before turning his attention back to Jim. "I was just doing a bit of checking. You know how it is."

"Yeah," Jim agreed, watching from the corner of his eye as Larry tried to edge around him as unobtrusively as possible. He made no move to try and head him off.

"I'll just be off, okay Detective?" Larry mumbled, still sidling along. "Sorry to have bothered you so I'll just be on my way."

Jim saw Larry glance in the direction of what he thought was freedom, obviously intending to make a sudden break for it when the man froze, eyes fixed on one spot. Jim followed his look and saw Tohma standing there. He was nothing more than a shadow really, his features shrouded in the shifting darkness but his mere presence was enough to make Larry give up on the idea of fleeing.

Jim saw Larry lick his lips nervously, could almost see his agile mind quickly reassessing the situation as he now realized that Jim wasn't on his own. "This is a bit out of your normal beat, isn't it Detective?" He began in a conversational tone. His smile was a little queasy though. He was obviously extremely uncomfortable being here with Jim.

"Oh, not really," Jim said conversationally. "I was just following up on a few things." He smiled broadly at Larry. "I thought you might be able to give me a hand here."

Larry smiled back, although it trembled a little. "Oh, you know me, Detective. I'm always happy to help if I can."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I thought 'Larry the Limey' was the perfect person to have a chat to. It was good fortune bumping into you like this tonight, wasn't it?"

"Ah, yeah. Yeah, it was." Not for one moment did Larry think that this was just a coincidence. He was fully aware that Jim must have been following him and he was just as obviously very uncomfortable with knowing that.

"So what's been up?" Jim asked casually, reaching into his jacket pocket and withdrawing his cigarette packet. He placed one between his teeth and drew it out.

"Nothing much," Larry said quickly. "It's been real quiet, you see."

"Really?" Jim replied, turning his head to look at his suspect. "I'd heard otherwise. You've been playing with the 'big boys' again."

Jim saw Larry almost wince and knew he'd hit the mark.

"Look, Detective, I'm not looking for any trouble." Larry almost pleaded, desperation beginning to colour his voice.

Jim suddenly moved, fast on his feet for someone so tall, and made Larry stumble backwards to bring up hard against the stacked crates as Jim's hand slammed against the wood beside Larry's head.

Jim glared down at the man before him, pinning him with his gaze. "Well, you've found it," he grated out. He maintained his lock on the other's eyes. "Now cut the bullshit."

"Honestly I don't know anything!" Larry said, eyes wide.

Suddenly Jim stepped back, giving Larry space once more. "Oh well, I guess you don't have anything to tell me then," he said, turning his back on the other man.

Tohma blinked in surprise from the shadows. After all the effort they had put into this, was Jim just going to let this man walk away?

Larry stared at Jim's turned back for just a moment longer and then bolted past him, making a break for freedom. Tohma sucked in his breath as he saw Jim stick his foot out and trip the fleeing man, causing him to stumble, arms flailing as he desperately tried to catch his balance again but his impetus was too great and he fell heavily into a stack of crates, which tottered for a moment and then crashed downwards, falling on the hapless man also.

Jim slowly turned and walked to where Larry was groaning on the ground, one hand clutching a shoulder, blood trickling from a cut on the head.

"Now, let's start again shall we?" he said, kneeling down in front of Larry, head tilted to one side and waiting for the man to speak. "You were saying?"

"Nothing," Larry muttered. "I didn't say nothing."

Jim reached up and shoved a crate that was still half balanced on the pile so it fell heavily next to Larry, one corner grazing the man's arm on its descent.

"Ow!" Larry clutched at the injury, staring up at Jim in shock.

"Now I'm running out of patience," Jim growled in a low voice.

"You can't do this!" Larry squeaked. "This is police brutality!"

"Prove it," Jim said in a deadly quiet voice, eyes boring into the man before him. "I haven't laid a hand on you. Now, I would like you to tell me everything you know about what your bosses are up to. But first of all you're going to tell me where they're holding my girl."

"I can't do that!" Larry gasped out, reaching back and using the crates for support to gain his feet. He shook his head once he was standing. "I'd be dead if I said anything to you!"

"That would be a pity," Jim agreed, stepping back also.

That was the break Larry had been waiting for and he took it, but before he'd gone more than a couple of steps a hard shove from behind sent him crashing back into another stack of crates in this confined area. He was spun around and slammed back first into more, feeling the sharp corners digging painfully into his spine, making him cry out.

He looked up to see Jim standing before him, just watching him. He'd had his run-ins with this detective before, over many a year, but he'd never seen him like this, nor had he ever heard of this man ever behaving like this before. Things like that got around so you knew just how much trouble you were likely to be in depending upon which cop got you. The word on the street was that Detective Harris was a 'good sort' – as far as cops went.

Now, looking at this man before him, Larry was beginning to feel real fear.

"Let's start again," Jim said quietly, one hand reaching into his pocket. He slowly drew his gun out, clicking the safety off. "Where is she?"

Larry watched the gun in Jim's hands like a rabbit caught in the car lights, his heart pounding. "You know what'll happen if I say anything!" he cringed.

"I...don't...care," Jim enunciated slowly, his voice cold. "Tell me."

Larry pressed his lips together and shook his head, his fear of his bosses' retaliation far greater at this point.

Jim reached out suddenly and grabbed one of Larry's arms, spinning the hapless man around and propelling him into the crates once more.

Larry's face hit the wood bruisingly but before he could move away a hand on the back of his head, fingers tangling painfully in his hair, pulled his head back before hitting it hard against the wood before him. He groaned and slumped to the ground as he was released, hands automatically going to his injured face.

Watching this action playing out before him caught Tohma completely by surprise. He knew Jim had intimated there could be some form of violence but at the same time he hadn't truly expected it to happen like this. He hadn't expected that Jim himself would be instigating it.

Larry raised his head and stared up at Jim towering over him, blood trickling from a split lip, shock in his eyes. Jim reached down and gathered a handful of Larry's shirt in his fist, dragging him upright and drawing him in close again so their noses were almost touching, giving him a hard shake. "Now talk," he snarled, "What do you know about my girl? Where is she?"

"I don't know!" Larry gasped out.

"Wrong answer," Jim said almost calmly and threw the other man into the crates once more, sending another pile crashing down. Tohma was beginning to be concerned about the level of noise they were making. Surely someone would come and investigate shortly?

Jim hauled the informer to his feet. "Try again," he said. "Where?"

"I…can't! Please!" Larry begged, the blood from the cut on his brow gleaming wetly.

"Try again!" Jim hissed and shoved him into another pile. He gave Larry no time to get his bearings this time and immediately dragged him to his feet.

"Please," Larry pleaded. "Don't."

"Tell me," Jim said simply, placing the barrel of the gun against the man's temple. "I don't have time to waste."

Larry seemed to slump in his hands, head falling down dejectedly. "You're… too late," he whispered.

Even from where Tohma stood that soft whisper carried on the still night air to his ears and made his heart clench. Jim seemed to freeze in place, his face going blank and it seemed that the temperature in the area dropped noticeably, like the feel before an impending storm, sending an icy shiver down Tohma's spine.

Jim's hands fell to his sides and the silence seemed deafening. "When?" he half whispered.

"The day after," Larry confirmed, turning his head away, obviously uncomfortable with the information he was imparting. His voice was still soft and Tohma could hear the pain there. Obviously Larry took no pleasure in this – either the imparting of the news or the action that was taken. "Once they knew they had you and you were in too deep, they figured they didn't need her then."

The silence was deafening as this tableau held, none of them moving. Larry made no attempt to escape although now was probably his perfect opportunity to do so.

Suddenly Jim reached out and gripped the front of Larry's shirt again, almost lifting the smaller man onto his toes. "If that's the case, then show me where," he grated out, his voice almost breaking on the last word.

Larry shook his head, hands going up to grip Jim's wrists. "I don't know!"

Jim pulled him in close, glaring at him. "Do you want to start this again? I've got all night if need be."

Larry met Jim's gaze and then defeat crossed his face. "Look, I'll tell you. Just let me go."

"Oh no, you're coming with us," was Jim's response, turning and dragging the man beside him.

Larry tried to dig his heels in. "No, I don't want to. If they find out I helped you they'll kill me!"

Jim halted abruptly and the gun in his hand rose and rested directly between Larry's eyes. "You can always die now," Jim hissed, spittle touching Larry's face.

What Larry saw in Jim's face obviously convinced him for his shoulders slumped and his protests ceased. Jim dragged him along, literally by the collar, as they headed back to the main roads and his vehicle, Tohma falling into step beside him.

Tohma took the wheel this time. He didn't often drive but Jim sat in the back on this journey, keeping a close eye on their unwilling guest. Following Larry's directions, and with additional navigation provided by Jim, Tohma was able to bring them finally to their destination across the other side of town.

They all exited the vehicle, Jim maintaining a grip on Larry's arm, and looked at the location. It was a new construction site, silhouettes of cranes and scaffolding seen against the night sky. They followed Larry around the perimeter before entering through a section of fencing where the chain had been discreetly cut and merely looped around the pole.

"So that's the 'tradesmen's entrance', huh?" Jim said to Larry.

"The bosses and their boys have a key to the site office," Larry replied. "The rest of us come in this way so we aren't seen."

"We'd wondered about this place," Jim continued, turning to speak to Tohma, sounding so normal that it startled him. Jim still didn't let go of his firm grip on Larry's collar. "There had been rumours it had been bought by the mob but it was difficult to prove. The original owners had to sell up after a suspicious fire destroyed their place, then a few other problems hit them as well whilst they tried to refinance. Before they knew it they were forced to sell, well below market value, as they needed the quick cash to try and settle the debts they suddenly found themself with. We all thought it stunk but we couldn't pin anything on anyone, which was frustrating as hell."

He now turned back and gave Larry a shake, like a terrier shaking a rat. "So where now?"

"You sure you want to know?" Larry said, looking at Jim worriedly. When Jim said nothing he raised one hand to point into the darkness, voice shaking. "Over there."

He really was afraid, Tohma thought, following. Though whether it was Jim or the retaliation of the mob that created that fear he didn't know. A beam of light suddenly appeared before them and Tohma realised Jim was now carrying a flashlight.

"You're very prepared," Tohma said, carefully stepping over a protruding metal bar.

"Better to be safe than sorry," Jim replied absently. The flashlight wasn't large but obviously powerful, throwing out a respectfully bright beam that spread before them as they continued on their way.

"Are we likely to meet up with any other….guests?" Tohma queried quietly.

"I don't think so," Larry answered, "I hadn't heard there were any jobs that required them to be here for."

"Let's take it easy, just in case," Jim said. "We don't want to attract any undue attention."

They continued on in silence for a time more as Larry lead them through a maze of construction work of half erected walls and roof formwork, heading towards the back of the lot.

"Here," Larry suddenly said, coming to a stop.

They all halted and looked at the area of open ground before them.

This area had obviously recently been cleared and compacted ready for the laying of the concrete foundations. Tohma noticed that one half had already had the formwork laid and the curing concrete further back showed the steady progress being made. From the positioning of the work he suspected that tomorrow would bring a return of the concrete truck to finish the job fully.

Tohma turned his head to look at Jim who still stood, just silently looking over the area.

"Now where?" he asked quietly.

Larry pointed to the centre of one of the barren areas, not saying anything.

Jim released his hold on Larry and walked forward, leaning over to work fingers into the metal grid laid down and grunted as he heaved. Tohma hurried forward and grabbed one side, then much to his surprise, Larry did the same. Between the three of them they removed three gratings so only the bare sandy ground now lay before them.

Silently Jim turned and disappeared into the darkness, a moment later returning with a shovel in hand. Without another word he began to dig. Tohma watched, noting how carefully Jim was pushing the spade into the soil, slowly and carefully removing the sand. He made no move to try and help. Unconsciously he knew that he had no place in this now.

He glanced at the man still standing at his side. Larry had made no move to leave either, a fact that surprised Tohma. However the look of sadness on the man's face led Tohma to believe that perhaps Larry wasn't truly a 'bad' man. He didn't seem to be at all pleased to be involved with this incident, or in knowing anything about it.

Suddenly Tohma saw Jim pause, shovel half-way out of the hole. Tohma stepped forward. "Jim?" he softly queried and then stopped, gagging against the reflex to vomit as in the beam of torchlight he could see the pale hand that rested on the shovel head.

Jim didn't answer him but instead dropped the shovel and fell to his knees, hands frantically dragging the sand away. Tohma could hear Jim's harsh rapid breathing with every scoop of sand thrown aside. Unable to turn his eyes away, Tohma could only watch as Jim slowly began to unearth an arm, then shoulders and finally the back of a head.

Jim's gasping sob was heartbreakingly loud as he drove both hands deep into the sand, dragging at the shoulder, trying to lift the body clear of its resting place. He pulled weakly, as though he'd lost all strength, all the while those gasps continued brokenly. Tohma watched as Jim was finally able to heave the still body up, rolling it over into his lap. He watched as one shaking hand reached up and pushed the sand caked hair from the still face, as it gently tried to brush the coating sand from the pale face with closed eyes.

Tohma could only watch as Jim looked down upon the face of his beloved Kerryn and felt tears build in his own eyes as he saw the man begin to rock slowly, bundling the limp form into his arms to hold it closer to his chest. Soft words fell from Jim's lips, words that Tohma couldn't hear, but the tone of endearment was clear enough; the love, the pleading, the grief.

A hand stroked through the hair again, fingers tangling in the knots around a dark shadow that marred the strands at the back of the head and Tohma almost gagged again as he realised that he was most likely seeing just how Kerryn had been killed. Jim seemed oblivious to that at this time, drawing Kerryn closer to him again, lifting her so he could rest his face against her cold chilled cheek, his eyes closed as he continued to whisper to her.

After seemingly eons of time had passed Jim slowly and gently lowered Kerryn to the ground, one hand lingering to touch her cheek. Then suddenly he surged to his feet and flung himself at Larry, so quickly that Tohma didn't even have enough time to be startled by this move.

Jim's lunge had carried the two men past Tohma who now spun around to see what was happening, in time to see Jim's punch send Larry crashing to the ground.

"You bastards," Jim was grating out through clenched teeth as he dragged the man to his feet and proceed to pummel him violently. "You murdering fucking bastards!"

Jim dragged Larry up again and Touma could see the blood dribbling from Larry's nose, his bloodied face looking frightful in the dim yellow light from the torch.

As Jim kneed Larry in the stomach and then punched him again, Tohma didn't know what he should do as his friend bore down on the beaten man once more. He watched as Jim dragged Larry up, punching him once, than again on the opposite side, the skin over one eye splitting so blood trickled down over a face that was already rapidly swelling with bruising.

That was enough for Tohma.

"Jim!" he yelled out, shocked by the ferocity he was witnessing from his friend. Jim had always seemed a gentle man, not weak by any means but gentle all the same. This animalistic rage was not something Tohma had expected to ever witness from his friend and it seemed so wrong to be doing so now.

"Jim!" he called again when it seemed that Jim hadn't heard him the first time, fists continuing to fall on a face with eyes unable to even open.

Tohma saw the dark splatter of blood across the ground, the gleam of white as a tooth fell with the globules of blood from a ruined mouth. Larry was no longer even able to defend himself, hanging limply in Jim's hands as he continued to strike him.

Jim suddenly released the bloodied and limp form to let it fall motionless to the ground as he stepped back, reaching into his jacket, his breath coming in harsh pants.

Tohma now acted unconsciously, running forward as Jim withdrew his gun, clicking off the safety and aiming it at the bloody wreck of humanity at his feet.

No, not again! He couldn't watch as the same events repeated themselves. Overlaid on Jim and Larry, Tohma saw Eiri and Kitazawa. The gun pointing downwards was clasped in Eiri's inexperienced and fearful hands, not Jim's skilled and knowledgeable ones. Either way Tohma could not let this play out like this – he wouldn't lose someone else to such horror and despair. He wouldn't let another soul be crushed by such an action.

When Tohma flung himself between the two protagonists he truly no longer knew just who he was trying to protect – Eiri of the past, or Jim of the present.

"Don't!" he cried out, throwing himself between the two figures. He could see the gun quivering in Jim's grasp and was certain it wasn't from fear or hesitation. The eyes that met his were hard, cold and completely devoid of expression.

Dead, Tohma thought, his heart clenching in pain. His eyes look dead.

"Get...out...of...my...way!" Jim hissed every word being dragged through clenched teeth.

"No," Tohma replied in an even voice, though he was anything but calm inside. He truly felt, for the first time, really afraid of Jim.

Jim just raised the gun, centring it on Tohma's chest. "This bullet can go right through you and get that fucker too." Jim said, almost matter-of-factly.

"Is that what you really want?" Tohma queried, keeping his voice even. He maintained his gaze on Jim, not letting it waver. "It won't change anything, will it?"

"I…don't…..care," was Jim's answer. The gun didn't move.

"Jim, I won't let you become a murderer," Tohma said quietly. "I owe that to Kerryn."

For a moment Tohma thought he had miscalculated in mentioning Kerryn's name for he saw the gun twitch in Jim's hand and fully expected to hear the sharp report and the slam of a bullet in his body but instead there was just silence.

He watched silently as the gun shook more violently in Jim's hand before falling to the ground as Jim dropped to his knees. He saw Jim raise his open hands and stare at them for a moment and then raise his head and release a scream to the night sky that was so raw that it seemed to rip Tohma's heart out. As the scream died away, Jim's head dropped into his hands to cover his face as his shoulders shook.

Tohma heard movement then behind him and glanced round to see Larry struggling to his feet.

"I would suggest that you get away from here immediately," Tohma said almost conversationally. "I don't believe it would be a good idea for you to mention this to anyone, do you?"

Larry looked at Tohma, then at the huddled Jim, before his gaze flicked over to the still form of Kerryn lying crumpled on the ground. He shook his head then began to shuffle off into the darkness as quickly as he could.

Tohma now stepped towards Jim and dropped to his knees before him. He reached out and grasped his wrists, drawing those hands away. The face that he saw was one filled with pain, a deep etched pain that words couldn't describe. He gazed into Jim's dull eyes, seeming devoid of any emotion except pain.

"Cry," he said softly. "Cry for her."

Jim suddenly wrenched one hand free and reached out, grasping a handful of Tohma's jacket and pulling him closer. Tohma wondered if it would now be his turn to bear the wrath of Jim's pain but as he watched he saw the man's lips tremble and the eyes slowly fill with moisture.

He slowly raised a hand and touched the tear that began to slide down Jim's cheek. "It's over," he whispered. "Let go."

Jim's other hand came up and gripped Tohma as the first had done but now he dropped his head to rest on Tohma's chest, shoulders shaking under Tohma's hand. At first there was only silence, then the deep sobs began, sobs that shook the very depths of this man, reaching deep into his soul and drawing out all the pain and fears he had been burying. Tohma just held him in the darkness as the hot tears soaked his shirt and the body resting on his knees continued to shake, and the hands clung to him tightly as though holding onto the only lifeline that was left.


	15. Epilogue

Unchained Memories

**Title: **Unchained Memories

**Author:** JadeHeart  
**Fandom:** Gravitation  
**Warnings: sexual innuendo**.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi's dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to 'The Key to My Heart')

Author's Note: This lightly touches upon events occurring in 'Unlocking My Love' – upcoming chapter 20.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of 'Gravitation'.

-oOo-

Epilogue: Present Day

The rain struck the window, sliding slowly down the glass before pooling on the ledge.

Tohma gazed at his reflection, ignoring the illusion that some of those droplets made it look like he was crying.

It had been raining like this that day also, he thought. The day of Kerryn's funeral. He turned away from the window. What a melancholy thought.

He sat back in his chair and glanced once more at the closed door, frowning again. Just what had happened for Yuki to suddenly decide to go back to America? He scrubbed a hand over his face, sighing. Could those two never settle down? Were they truly doomed as lovers, never to be together?

He looked back out at the grey sky still weeping. He'd thought he'd witnessed enough of doomed love affairs to last a life time.

He propped his chin in one hand and stared morosely out the window. Yes, he had even been feeling exactly like this that day.

-oOo-

Tohma felt the drops falling on the umbrella he was holding, each one feeling like it struck with more force than the previous, their weight increasing in proportion to his feelings of guilt.

He looked over the collection of people here, all dressed sombrely; some with umbrellas, others not, ignoring the rain that continued to stream over them. Some how it seemed fitting. He would have found it odd if the day had been bright sunshine – not after Kerryn had met such an untimely end. It just wouldn't have seemed right.

It wasn't a large crowd. Kerryn apparently hadn't come from a large family, but what family she had were there, from young to old. There were also work colleagues and friends, both hers and Jim's, all offering their support by their presence, sharing in their loss.

Tohma stood off to one side, a little to the back. He hadn't really known Kerryn that well, not in the way many of these people had, and it had been only for such a very short time. Now it seemed all too short.

He felt a warm hand slide into his own chilled one hanging by his side, whilst an arm circled his waist, holding him close.

"Why did this have to happen?" Noriko asked quietly, sadness filling her voice.

Tohma glanced down at her head resting on his shoulder, seeing the sorrow on her face. She had flown back for this, leaving her husband in Japan. The swell of her abdomen was clearly visible, the reason why Tohma had worried about her making this trip.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. He wished he did have the answer to that question. It was one he had been seeking since that moment as well, yet the answer still eluded him. It always would.

The arm around his waist tightened. "It will be hard for him," Ryuichi said suddenly from his other side.

Tohma turned his head and met Ryu's clear steady gaze, Kumagoro tucked under one arm, a black ribbon tied about its neck. Somehow even the toy looked sad today.

"He couldn't protect that which he loved the most," Ryuichi continued evenly. "He'll blame himself for that." Tohma felt those dark eyes piercing right through him, as though seeing so much more.

Yes, he was right, Tohma thought. He knew exactly what that felt like. The image of Eiri's face rose in his mind and his heart clenched. Oh, yes, he knew all too well how it felt to be unable to protect those he cherished. That feeling he could well understand.

His eyes came to rest on the person standing separately from everyone else, closest to the grave. Although he was surrounded by people, those that were nearest and dearest to him, Jim looked totally alone. It was as though he had already cut himself off from those around him, no longer a part of this world they all inhabited.

His face was completely composed now. No sign of the streaming tears, crushing sobs, or wailing cries that Tohma had seen that night. He stood tall and erect, hands clasped before him as the priest continued the service, that quiet voice nothing more than a soft drone. There was a stillness about Jim, a sense of withdrawal that seemed so wrong.

The service was soon completed, the priest saying the final words, then Jim stepped forward to drop a single red rose towards the casket as it was lowered before stepping back.

That was the cue to all the other mourners to move forward, each taking a handful of rose petals from a basket set out and sprinkling them into the grave as they passed by.

Noriko and Ryuichi also joined that line at the end. Tohma watched that cascading fall of colour as they disappeared into the darkness of the depths below, vanishing from sight, and shivered. As each mourner completed this task they said their condolences to Kerryn's weeping parents and left, slowly making their way back to their cars.

Nobody stopped by Jim where he continued to stand alone.

As the crowd dissipated, Jim suddenly looked up and met Tohma's gaze. The rain had plastered Jim's short hair to his skull, droplets clinging to the tips before falling to the ground. His face shone with dampness, pale as though chilled. Tohma didn't know if it were only the rain that slid down those pale cheeks or if tears were mixed with them.

They held that gaze, as though it were only the two of them there, the rest of the world forgotten. How Tohma wished that there was something else that he could have done, something that would have prevented things turning out this way. What could he have changed so that Kerryn would still be here with them?

Tears pricked in his own eyes as he continued to look at Jim, before slowly sliding down his face. At that, Jim gave a slight trembling smile and curt nod as though thanking Tohma for crying when he no longer could, before turning and striding away through the teeming rain as finally the thunderstorm struck with full force.

-oOo-

Tohma felt the tightness in his face and scrubbed a hand across it again, erasing any sign of moisture trying to build in his eyes. That was all in the past; it was done and finished with and nothing was going to change that.

He turned again and reached for the phone, dialling.

"Umph?" was the strange response he received when his call was answered.

"Jim?" Tohma queried a little uncertainly.

"Yeah, what?"

"It's Tohma,"

"Oh," the sounds of a loud yawn. "How ya doing?"

"Have I caught you at a bad time?"

"Nah," sounds of rustling and another yawn. "Just catching up on some shut-eye."

"I seem to have a penchant for catching you in bed," Tohma said with a small laugh.

"Don't peek,"

"Can't I compare reality to fantasy?" Tohma teased.

Another yawn. "Tohma, I'm too damn tired to deal with your perversions and I'd be a lot happier not knowing I'm starring in some of them."

"How about Ryuichi then?"

"Oh, please!" Jim sounded like he was speaking from a distance with further rustling sounds in the background. "When were you into threesomes?"

"Who said anything about threesomes?" Tohma said, leaning back, smiling. "I was actually just speaking about Ryuichi and myself, but obviously you had already considered another option involving all of us. If that is your interest all you had to do was ask."

"Gah!" was Jim's louder response. "Knock it off will you?!"

"Are you dressed now?" Tohma asked, deducing that was the sounds he had been hearing.

"Nearly,"

"Hmm," Tohma purred seductively. "Now that I can picture very well."

"Tohma, so help me!" Jim threatened. "Will you stop with the sex talk! You're giving me the creeps!"

"Okay," Tohma agreed briskly, getting back to the reason for his call. "I have a favour to ask of you."

"If it's anything to do with sex, whips, handcuffs or whatever other twisted kinks you and Ryu have, the answer is 'No!'!"

Tohma chuckled. "Nothing of the sort – although I'm sure Ryu could come up with something if you are ever interested."

"No, no, and again, no!" Jim stated emphatically. "So what do you want?"

"Can you meet Yuki tomorrow?"

"What? He's coming back here again?" Jim sounded very surprised.

"Yes. Rather unexpectedly at that."

"So what's up?" Jim's words were muffled as though he were eating.

"I'm not certain yet, but he's asked to use my apartment in New York whilst he's there. I would feel better knowing that you had picked him up and he was safe."

"Are those two still fighting, huh?"

"I didn't think so, and from Yuki's reactions I would have said not, but something is definitely not well. I'll look into it whilst he's away."

"So it was just easier to let him do what he wants than try and argue with him, hmm?"

"Something like that," Tohma admitted. "I know that he has some work lined up when he's there but if you could just keep an eye on things for a short while I would be most grateful."

"Just what are you up to?" Jim wanted to know.

"Nothing. Yet."

"Ha!" Jim let out a bark of laughter. "I knew it! You're going to do something to fix this, aren't you?"

"Well, I don't know if it's broken yet," Tohma said calmly. "But I think you might have a few more 'guests' there in a short time."

"Fine then. Give me the flight details and I'll pick the prodigal son up when he arrives." Jim chuckled then. "I bet you he'll be pissed off when he sees me!"

"That most likely will be the case," Tohma admitted. "Thank you for doing this."

"Hey, that's fine. Just don't get into any trouble this time, heh?"

"Never."

"Yeah, right!" was Jim's disbelieving answer. "I'll call you once I've got him safely tucked away."

"Thank you. Sleep well." Tohma said.

"Sleep, hell! Now I've got to work, worst luck!" and Jim rang off.

Tohma still had a smile on his face as he stood and walked over to pick up his coat. He'd done enough for today he felt. He would go home early and surprise Mika.

He glanced back at the rain still thrumming against the glass. The thing about the rain was that it always passed, leaving the world refreshed with the hope of renewal again.

End


End file.
